New re-write--please comment

[feaker]

warrenYa ever wonder if there might be another person in this world who might think or act like you?You don't have to worry bud and I am damn glad of it.The production is really good. I like the stops and pauses too.I have no idea if this is marketable?You have some interesting chords in there that do work well.(tried to follow along)Looks like you got some good feedback.Good luck friendpaul

[heinsite]

hey thanks dean and paul, nice words from good people are always a good feeling.i have a new song i'm about to post, and paul, you WILL like this one...has your style of guitar, back in a minute...wh

[wta]

dean, thank you much for your positive feedback mate, every kind word makes a big difference. We all get a think skin after awhile but it really is a great feeling knowing that you were able to find ears that think well of your work... Thanks my friend, wta

[zoom]

Dec 24, 2008, 12:27pm, heinsite wrote:damn guys!why aint nobody talking' to the songwriter?? feel all warm and fuzzy, just like my taxi success stories..LOL... Ok.... so here's a post for the songwriter first! Warren, this is a pretty quirky piece, and I think I said it when you first posted this months ago. And, guess what? It's STILL quirky! And I know you have your deliberate intentions for this piece, but that doesn't mean I won't tell you my thoughts on it anyway. I think part of the problem this track will face (at least to my ears) is that there's not enough glue to hold this song together for most people. Even the chord changes challenge the listener, and the treatment doesn't help to define those changes more. It's almost experimental in the way it winds, jerks, and changes through verse and chorus.... confusing the listener as to where you are in the song. I know that "shift" is in the title, but you don't have to be so literal all the time! The last 2 lines of C1 are completely separate from the rest of the chorus, and when I listen to it, sounds more like a part of V2. The meter of V2 doesn't match up with V1 much at all, and with that organ break it completely grinds the production to a halt so you can go in a different direction. Having the instruments cut off within different parts of the production don't help much either to transition you from one section to another. Plus, with the all the minor moves and key changes, it's almost as if you're testing the audience rather than allowing them to freely come into your world. You may hate this analogy, but I think what you've done with this song musically is what Andy Kaufman did for comedy. You both are a creative force, but at times you refuse to play by any rules except your own... which isn't necessarily a bad thing, as we need people to test our opinions and tastes. But it can also lead to disappointment when all sorts of people tell you they just don't get it.From a Taxi standpoint, I doubt this song will ever make the cut for all the reasons I've listed above. This track sits at the base of a very steep mountain. While it may have applications, I don't see it coming from Taxi, though who knows??For a personal collection, it's actually not a bad one to have.... just not one to lead with. It shows your versatility (as long as you juxtapose it with some straight ahead hits like "Ga Ga"), and it also shows that you're not afraid to challenge the listener for the desired -- or even undesired -- effect. Now for just a quick note to Will.... my only real issue with production is between the vocal and the acoustic, as it seems like they're competing for the same space. Perhaps using different compression or EQ might help separate them a bit, especially in V1. With all the shifts, it could be a benefit to having a stronger musical component. Just a thought!Overall, it's a challenging, quirky piece. But I think you both knew that when tackling it. Good luck with it moving forward!~Pat

[heinsite]

LOL--my own computer is a doornail, so i'm only answering quickly from the family one that still runs...and i'm sure with my longwindedness, everyone will be happy!! LOLok zoom, i hear what you're saying, but man, this tune is JUST what i was trying to do--be straightforward but trying to be versatile enough for them thinkers out there. the chord progression, the stops, starts, angels, etc. are just what i call creativity--but indeed, i still think that if one just sits back and listens to the song, it's pretty clear,...sometimes i believe that we can reach several different levels with one tune--and i try to do it at times, but with this one, actually all i did before willie sung and produced it, was write what came to me...wasn't really challenging and i certainly wasn't testing the audience--just those that wanted to be...i think it stands alone as a very good tune, however as usual, you can please some of the people....etc. etc. and that will be my perpetual problem i guess...especially when it comes to taxi.thank you pat for the review and listen/s. i don't really agree with much of what you said, but that's cool. i really do know how to write a pretty straight forward tune, it's these that aren't so run of the mill that excite me the most...all the best,warrenps: and although i think that this tune should CERTAINLY cut into the sing/songwriter category of taxi, i do think you are right, that it WON'T cut through taxi and get anywhere. it's what i've come expect.