Would appreciate feedback on this song

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mcanty
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Would appreciate feedback on this song

Post by mcanty » Fri Nov 28, 2008 5:57 am

It's called "On and On" and I am just curious as to everyone's initial impression. Any comments or feedback, positive or constructive are greatly appreciated. Thanks!http://www.taximusic.com/stream/188758/ ... d%20On.mp3

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Re: Would appreciate feedback on this song

Post by stephen1977 » Fri Nov 28, 2008 7:33 am

Excellent vocals my man. Really really good. I was taken back with how well the vocal arrangement was both performed and written. Now you are going to be beating me off with a stick because I'm going to be hounding you for a collaboration! I have to say, right from the first, "On and On" you repeat it too much. Could just be me, but its not a very substance filled chorus lyrically, and to repeat the same line as much as you do quickly became redundant. By chopping the chorus up some, you would reduce the length of the song, which I think it needs just a bit shaved off of the overall length. I hear a lot of influence in this song, much that is dated. The chorus reminds me of Warrant's "I Saw Red." Other melodic structures remind me of "Damn Yankees" and even "Kansas." "Queen" as well. So, your taste in music can't be that bad.My advice on the lead guitar section, or what little there was of it... ...extend it and show more emotion with the guitar. C'mon man! This song is so beautiful melodically, a soaring guitar solo is almost a must! Production sounds good. Clean.I'm hearing a little more instrumentation throughout but what you have already is decent and frankly sold me. My only peeve was the over and over chorus line that really did get old rather quickly.You have a lot of talent my man. Best of luck to you!

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Re: Would appreciate feedback on this song

Post by davekershaw » Fri Nov 28, 2008 7:46 am

Nov 28, 2008, 7:57am, mcanty wrote:It's called "On and On" and I am just curious as to everyone's initial impression. Any comments or feedback, positive or constructive are greatly appreciated. Thanks!http://www.taximusic.com/stream/188758/ ... 20On.mp3My, you are busy today Mark!This is a real good song too.Only thing I'd suggest is a few less "on and ons" early on.Bring more in towards the end.Good stuff!Dave.

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Re: Would appreciate feedback on this song

Post by twilsbach » Fri Nov 28, 2008 5:57 pm

The keys sound great. Vocals too. Production is nice. Def. broadcast quality.I'm hearing what everyone else is mentioning about the On & Ons, and I agree. The arrangement sounds very 80s to me, guitar sound, keys sound, instrumental bridge with guitar solo, cymbal swells etc. Not saying thats a bad thing, but you didn't mention where you'd like this song to end up, so I'm not sure if thats a relevant comment or not.My only other comment would be there are some tired cliches in the lyrics. I can't recall the specifics right off hand without a second listen.

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Re: Would appreciate feedback on this song

Post by jay10music » Sat Nov 29, 2008 2:16 pm

MARK...NICE JOB....GOOD Production...Great Voice u have....Nice keys....Guitar cool...very nice.......jAY....

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Re: Would appreciate feedback on this song

Post by mistydawn » Sat Nov 29, 2008 6:21 pm

Where can I buy this song?!Beautiful.This song is a classic. Never dated.It stirred my heart....choked my heart is more like.But it was great....I wonder, is that how she was?I wanted more words, more words...but could they all fit?Sometimes they can't Your songs are immaculate! There is nothing else to say.

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Re: Would appreciate feedback on this song

Post by aubreyz » Sat Nov 29, 2008 7:39 pm

There's a lot of stuff posted for review... though I don't comment as much as I used to, I do try to listen to just about everything. But this is my third time to listen to this. If I put on my producer's hat, there's some stuff that could be fixed to make the sound a little more current, the hook needs some help to go from good to great, a better lift here and there--- but it's not often that I get chills... and man, the vocal kick in the 2nd verse knocked me out. Not just the performance... the feel. So... Had to check out your page, to see if it's a fluke...."I'm just drowning in my bed with these voices in my head".Nope. Not a fluke. Thanks for making my night. Your "interview" says you're not a virtuoso... okay. maybe. But ideas and feelings are the hard part of songwriting and or production... everything else you can get in a book. I'm not saying you are there... but there's glimmers of "there" in about every track I heard. Keep at it man. Don't settle for less than magic. You make me feel what you write... perfecting from there is the easy part.Aub

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Re: Would appreciate feedback on this song

Post by deantaylor » Sun Nov 30, 2008 12:18 am

I really like this. Nice work.I have to say that .. artistically ... repeating ON AND ON works for me .. I mean, it gives you the feel of going ON AND ON which is what you want .. I don't think it is too repetetive. Sometimes a lot of repetition just works and I think this is one of those time.Gotta agree with Aub on your vox, especially in the second verse ... reminded me a bit of Gavin DeGraw (?sp) there.Dean

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Re: Would appreciate feedback on this song

Post by sevenmusic » Sun Nov 30, 2008 5:35 am

Great song, it captured me from the beginning and carried me through til the end. The electric piano is fantastic, everything just fits well. I'd buy it today!Marc

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Re: Would appreciate feedback on this song

Post by mcanty » Sun Nov 30, 2008 5:36 am

thanks to everybody for the kind words.. Thanks to everybody for the pick-me-up. I will return the favor if possible.I am interested in collaboration if the situation and goals match up

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