We're Done!

[cameron]

Got a new country song I'm working on. Not sure what this is... Don Williams meets Roger Miller maybe??Anyway, this is just a work tape, with vox by the Camster. Will do a pro demo if it's deemed worthy by my fellow Taxiites.http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... am=trueAny comments welcomed.Camp.s. I owe y'all a few critiques myself. Will try to get to them tonight now that I've got this puppy more or less done... well, for now anyway.========We're DoneI met a girl in a country barshe had the keys to her Daddy's carsaid she was taking me way too farWhat's a boy to do?We were off like a prom dressturned out to be an awful messa bad move I guessA pretty woman but not my stylelegs longer than a Texas mileI stayed with her for a little whileI wouldn't do that againIt wasn't very smart of meShe has another side I did not seeI needed a friend, but then again...ChorusBefore things turned badwe had some funBut I knew in a minuteShe was not the oneif I'd a known betterI would'a runShe don't believe mebut we're doneNext day she started calling meat every opportunitynotes on my car, you seeshe just wouldn't take noand she'd follow me homeJust to make sure I was aloneTried to tell her at 3 a.m I don't answer my phoneChorusThe sheriff came to call one dayNow she's got a new place to stayToo bad it had to end this wayBut what's a boy to do?She calls me every time she cansays she knows just where I amI don't understandshe's not my woman but I'm her manBefore things turned badwe had some funBut I knew in a minuteShe was not the oneand if you haven't been through itthen you wouldn't know sonShe don't believe meWe're done

[davekershaw]

Always good to hear your new songs Cam.This is very good, and well worth a pro demo I reckon.Needs something to lift that chorus, and the phrasingneeds working on, but that's the pro's job eh!Get it shipped to the studio PDQ!The great thing about time zones is I get to hear a lot of songs first!!We're Done! Dave.

[geo]

I like this Cam.... there is some awkward phrasing in there.... especially the transition to the chorus..... maybe finish the last line of the verse and then pause? It seems you're rushing the first line of the chorus....I dated this girl......Peace, Geo

[cameron]

Thanks Dave and Geo!Yeah, I gotta fix that rushed bit at the beginning of a couple of the choruses. That part was REALLY bad before I worked on it last night, but I see I still have a way to go on that.I had some higher notes in there at the beginning of the chorus (they're still there in the last chorus only) but I took them out 'cause I couldn't sing 'em and it sounded like caca. Hopefully the pro will be able to pull it off better than I could.Cam

[heinsite]

man i love your style cam! just plain genuine!just a couple things, take 'em or leave 'em...hell aint like i'm a real c/w dude! i'm re-reading this and what a crappy critique, no help at all, i think i'll PM you as the ideas are just flowin' all over the place tonight-and then you can tell me to go to h--hiway 95,,LOL--"i'm not the one" keeps coming to me as i've listened to this now about 4 times...instead of "we're done." that might also fix a few of the time/place (tense) things in the tune, 'cuz you can then play with the other rhymes to be just a bit less cliche in places...i can pm you, but the "i'm not the one" i think is made to order..."--i really like the way you cut off the first verse and brought that guitar in--i'm wondering without thinking, can you do that to end a couple more of the verses--it's just real cool man, and a hooky c/w kink...--yes, too wordy in a few lines, but you'll fix that i'm sure,that's all i have tonight, damn too tired, i'll pm you with some REAL crappy ideas....love you man,warren

[kitz]

Cam,This song put a smile on my face and I laughed when I heard " I would a run". Prom dress is great and legs as long as a Texas mile. Man what great lyrics. Keep it up, I can't wait to hear this when... (it's done).Sorry to say I am too tired to be very analytical tonite but suffice it to say I think you're on a great track. By the way, have you ever heard of Willis Allen Ramsey?Kitz

[liamkelly]

Hey Cam I love this lyric (as usual) Good song too, get it done.I'm with you about using the higher notes in the last chorus in all the choruses.Do you think the tempo is a little slow? Just an idea, I could be way off Liam

[jwebbinspired]

Cameron, I really love this. This is the kind of music I like to listen to myself. And I really love your love. It's so real. This is a great topic. I really liked the more subtle lines like "notes on my car." It really underlines how crazy this chick is....I love the verse about her going to jail.I agree that the chorus may seem a little rushed. Other than that, I don't see anything major. great song....She must get around, Geo, cause I dated her too.

[cjdenecia]

hey cam ....the mere mention of roger miller brings back smiles for me. dad made me listen to miles and miles of him in the car when I was just a wee boy ...of course, to this day I have snippets that I sing at any given moment from some of his biggest and best ...I suppose I should have read some of the previous reviews to get an idea of where this song sits for you but well ... I didn't ...what's with the panning? I read somewhere that somebody was deaf in one ear and that maybe he should flip the cans over to the other ear to straighten it out - good advice. it's irritating ... almost like the first beatles tracks except not even they put the lead vox to one side ...but the song itself has some real merit - it's easy ... it's light ... it's sorta non-committal ... it surely won't piss anybody off ... but it maybe won't really reach out and grab a whole lot either cus it is so laid back and unassuming. it's pleasant. and it's very well performed across the board ...but it has zero edge. like it's floundering somewhere and it doesn't know which way to turn ... which road to take. odd, cus it really is quite competent ... just not tickling any particular emotional bones in me. it's a prestine presentation .... and the melody is enjoyable ... and the backing is top notch across the board .... but ....I dunno ... I guess I hear it as perfect if somebody ever does a country opera type stage thing (like a rock opera only with country music - WOW - what an idea!???)but as a straight forward country song, it don't get it done. again, for the last time - it comes pro, but doesn't touch me.of course, there are some stumbly lines in the flow of the words in the melody but those are minor flaws that could easily be worked out ... I dunno, if there were ever a song I'd heard that I was telling myself I wanna like this but I really don't wanna bother - this would be it.must be you lacked conviction and I read it.any truth to that?

[tedsingingfox]

First off...I'm going to be gracious and NOT mention that I'm still waiting on a tape/mp3 of another tune... Then...I'm going to add that I have to agree with Warren."We're Done" does NOT strike me as the title here.But this shouldn't take TOO much more work to get it demo-ready. Ted