My Grandpa

[kitz]

Any comments on this tune?http://www.taximusic.com/stream/158068/ ... pa.mp3Just finished rewrite to appease the taxi critics. Have removed a bit and altered a bit and would like your ideas. Considering alt title "Him and Me".Wig, I still don't know any backup singers so I had to do it myself.Thanks,Kitz

[aml4]

Kitz,Your songs have a great sentimental (in the best sense of the word) quality to them that I think is really good. I'm not a lyrics man so I can't comment much on them but the music/production sounds great. Well done, -s

[davewalton]

Nov 16, 2008, 9:21pm, kitz wrote:Considering alt title "Him and Me".I was raised by my mom and her parents. "Him and me" I would have assumed to be a love song and because I don't know anything about Country, I wouldn't have ventured to listen or comment. "My Grandpa" immediately pulled me in, perhaps because of my unique circumstances but I'll bet that there's lots of people have have a special relationship with their Grandpa(s).So I don't know about Country titling... only that the title drew me in when it never would have otherwise.NICE song. Dave

[geo]

Nice!!!How about "My Granpa (Him and Me)" .... it's what I do in similar circs....Lyrics sound awesome...... my only issue is I'm getting a lot of bassiness... think it's the sound-hole... it bleeds throw every so often and blankets the sound....Get that fixed and this would be awesome!!!Peace, Geo

[foglyte]

Very nice song. I do like the sentimental nature of the lyrics, something a lot of folks can relate to. I agree with Geo, the low end does sort of take over, cutting this back slightly would improve the sound overall IMO. Other than that... great easy going piece.Foglyte

[wignelson]

Very nice song, Kitz. Good harmonies.

[davekershaw]

Hey, this is lovely Kitz!I can relate to it, even though I never had a Grandpa!I sound like that shark in Finding Nemo - "I never knew my father!" Well, I had two of course, but they went early,so I never had the experiences I would have liked.But anyway, this is a lovely arrangement and feel.Great job,Bruce Dave.

[cameron]

Hey Kitz,Can you post the lyrics? I like Geo's idea about the title.Cam

[cjdenecia]

a lot more country here in this forum than I would have expected ...and it's truly not my first love but I am somewhat familiar with what's good and what's not in more than a few styles so ....first off - and most importantly, you have a hook. and a damn good one. that descending vocal line that flows down is sweet - and it works. partially cus it reminds me of something that I can't put my finger on and partially just cus it's good.the only problem is that just maybe, you've gone a bit too far with it ... it seems to be in what I'd call the verse and the chorus and it will wear itself out before too many listens.is it still possible to go back and break up the "verses" a little and vary the melody so the hook has more impact when you bring it in?cus that'd be where the song would move up and capture a lot more repeated listens.with the basis of the chords being what they are, I wouldn't think it'd be that hard to change up that melody a bit and create the difference the vocals need to say THAT is the verse and THAT is the chorus (hook)nice guitar work. nice air in the mix. makes the vocals stand out like they should. classic country lines in the bed track too .... I especially like how the bass moves the low end but also moves the harmonics of the song here and there ... it's a little thing but it works. the extra walk note ... a little herky jerky through the lead area before the last verse tho ... didn't feel very natural ... can't really pinpoint it but it might be that drawn out final beat that throws me ... which seems to work elsewhere in the song but without the vox carrying it, it stands out as oddly off.lyrically .... I relate some ... not that my grandpa was anything like the one in this song but it's the sentiment that you capture that I follow. and the cool thing is - it's that vulnerability that you show lyrically that will appeal to not only men and their memories but to the ladies who like the fact that a man can get all gushy about their good ol' grandpa.so it's got gender crossover appeal. they won't relate personally but it'll make their man look gentle to them - to broaden his appeal from his big tough guy routine to one of a caring loving guy.and let's face it - we want woman to like our songs even if we aren't aiming to capture their hearts specifically.nice job ... as stated, a few moments of musical confusion for me but all in all, a special song that has some general appeal.

[kitz]

Thanks alot you guys!!Thanks for the encouragement and creative crit. CJ, I consider what you've given me here great feedback and will try and work out some of these ideas. Might take some time but I will look at them all seriously. Thanks!!Cam, here's the original lyrics that I used until the taxi folks busted me. One suggestion was to make the chorus and hook stronger so I dropped one set of lyrics and upped the hook "Him and Me". You can see "before we're through" originally. Maybe I overdid it like CJ says. Yeah I have decided to use Geo's idea. I did back off a little on the bottom end. Please let me know if it's not enough!!My Grandpa (Him and Me)I used to ride along With my grandpaShotgun in his old blue Pickup truck He would say boy you know It's such a long long roadYou're gonna grow and grow Before we're throughWe would just ride along All the countryside a songEvery hill and tree Wondering what else we'll see Before we're throughWe would just sit and sigh Watching the world go byPassing the deep blue sky Just him and meHe would go and sell his wares At every outpost thereMaybe make enough to share For dinnertimeKnowing that Grandma's home She would be there all aloneWearing that smile I'd known Every day of my life - for him and meWe were just dreaming dreams Places that we'd never seenKnowing what each other means With no word in between - him and meHe was such a tender soul One day he had to goI couldn't come along - This timeHad some old friends to see He wasn't leaving meHe'd always be with me I'd be alrightWe would just ride along All the countryside a songEvery hill and tree Wondering what else we'll see Before we're throughI used to ride along With my grandpaShotgun in his old blue Pickup truckSo that's where I'm at so far,Kitz