Attempting Country

[billg]

Thought I might go for a challenge and try a country song. I've tried a few other times to write a country song but they always end up as something else by the time they're finished.If I ever thought I had written a good country song I would probably have a demo done by someone in Nashville. I know my guitar part would be better as a pedal steel part . . . Anyway, here's an invitation for all of you real country writers to rip me a new one.It's called "I'll Look Out for You"Thankshttp://www.billgaunce.com/song/97

[djdale]

Bill I like the story. If you get a chance listen to "The Chain Of Love" by Clay Walker. Same subject and story. Don't want to burst you bubble, yours is an upbeat positive song.





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I really like the chorus and bridge. Maybe try different story lines, like someone who's physically challenged helping someone who is not, or someone who is down and out telling the stories of those who helped him/her and the end where he/she is giving back in gratitude.My suggestions, are yours, take 'em or or leave 'em, "I'll Look Out For You". Just my .002 cents (inflationary deduction)dale

[billg]

yeah, I guess the "pay it forward" storyline is pretty common, that's what I get for not listening to enough country music & then trying to write a country song! I think I'm not attached to the idea of writing a country song enough to struggle with creating a totally unique story. I kind of suspect anything I came up with would not be totally unique. If any of you country writers out there want to tackle a different storyline using my melody, chorus & bridge I'm certainly open to a co-write idea. C'mon, let me hear 'em!

[kitz]

Hey Bill,There's just not enough country songs out there. I think another one won't hurt much. I like your hook better than Chain of Love, I like the chorus and bridge. Nice sound. The drums seem a bit busy for a country drummer. I like this better than Chain of Love. Go easy on the drums and see where it goes. My dos pesos.Kitz

[geo]

Who cares..... brought a tear to this cynical eye.... well told, good song.... the second great pay it forward song.... I run into a similar problem when I attempt country too...Peace, Geo

[billg]

Thanks kitz & Geo.Kitz, I felt the same way about the drums. I'm using EZ drummer on this & think I really need the country expansion pack to make it right. Mo' money darn it.

[jwebbinspired]

I tell you I really like this song. I do second the "pay it forward" topic is a very common topic, but again I really like this one. I don't think this will fit most country listings....but this nice rock/country sound really made me think of a new listing:NEW LISTING - SOUTHERN ROCK/HARD ROCK/COUNTRY ROCK/CLASSIC ROCK SONGS withvocals and a contemporary touch are needed by the Music Supervisor for anIndie film set in Vegas, revolving around a male protagonist in hismid-30s who is smart & lively and on a serious mission to get his lifeback together. This character is strong, driven, blue-collar and a truecowboy at heart. You might think in the range of .38 Special's "Wild-EyedSouthern Boys", "Dirty White Boy" by Foreigner, Billy Squire, ChrisWhitley ("Living With The Law" album - specifically the song "Kick TheStones"), Ben Harper, etc. You can also reference Lynyrd Skynyrd, ZZ Top,The Black Crowes, Van Zant, etc. Great Southern Rock will be perfect, butbe careful not to submit anything that has a straight-up Blues approach.While many of the references are from a past era, this Music Sup is reallyhoping to find some hip, cool and current and/or timeless songs in thenoted genres - not too dated in the performance or recording style and NOTVegas "cheese" either. These songs need to provide a great backdrop forthe pulsing mood and energy of downtown Vegas. Lyrically, you'll want tofocus on strong perspectives like working hard/living life to itsfullest/getting back up when you've been knocked down/overcoming theodds/etc. You can also take in to account his character description -"cowboy at heart", strong/driven, blue-collar, etc. Recordings MUST beBroadcast Quality for this one. Please only submit original material - NOCOVERS - and male vocals only. Please submit one to three songs online orper CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened and critiqued byTAXI and must be received no later than December 11, 2008.TAXI # S081211TV

[billg]

Hey, thanks for the tip! It sounds like they may want something a bit "rockier" and rough from the looks of the alas (and the reference to hard rock) but I'm glad you like this. I've added a pedal steel and cleaned up the drums & the new mix should be connected to the old link in about an hr.Thanks again!

[heinsite]

hi billy--not being a successful c/w writer, here are my comments ANYWAY:the drum is easily fixed--it's just too busy man, all them rolls, instead of (1/16th notes?, can't tell...) just maybe use 1/2 notes or 1/4's when you can--pow, pow...instead of the machine gun pow pow pow pow pow pow pow pow...you get the point....anyway, and bury them a bit more back IMHO..too prominent...absolutely need steel in there but you already know that, though your lead guitar still needs to be in there too IMHO...ok, on the lyrics, good solid chorus, i'd UP the harmony ALLOT, to help frame the chorus more...but solid man...on the verse IMHO dump the word "replied" and use a simpler word, and on the great last verse, watch out for the "person" speaking thing--"why it's my old coat" is a bit awkward, this is one of them times you might want to de-personalize it and say something like "hell, it was my old coat," or "it was my old coat", or "isn't that my old coat?" and it leaves a bit 'o mystery, but hell, i only listened 2X's, hope you get my point. just MHO...hell bill, you're now a country writer man! oh and watch the length--when this is ready for the raydeeoh, it's just a tad long, but you can figure it out--hell, i aint one to give YOU advise my friend, though i guess i just did--LOL...that's it, very good job, those are the things i hear that need fixing....oh, ps: on the theme--still a good one, damned good story, hell santa claus is still around, why not actually what is NOT that common a theme--especially on C/W raydeeoh right now...all the best,warren

[matthoggard]

Another feather in your cap my friend.The multi talented, multi genred Bill G.This rivals any of Dylan's newest country songs. A little more tweaking maybe. If you got the bucks, send it off to Jimi or GC music and see what kind of Nashville sound they could put on it.We got some more competiton in the country section. Good stuff.M~