just in time for halloween....beware

[feaker]

Ladies, you might not want to listen, especially if you have a fear that someone could be watching you.This is another "feeler demo". It is only 1:20 in length.My friend will sing this later on with a more haunting voice.I would like to know:Is it too graphic?Should I proceed?Should a guy sing the voice and a gal the chorus, or a gal sing the whole thing in the first person?Where do I go next?Im sorry, I still don't get how to post properly. You will have to go to my site.Thanks in advancePaulhttp://www.taxi.com/feaker StalkerRunnin scared on a windy nightRecklessly in scattered lightDon’t look backHe’s closing in on youYou’re alone no one aroundRustling leaves the only soundIf you falter now you will be throughChorus (or prechorus)I can hear him breathingI know he’s right behind meOh God, I don’t wanna dieMy strength is goinI feel my legs are slowinOh God, I don’t wanna die

[jchitty]

Hey, Paul...I like this! I like the lyrics...your background music is energetic, but scary enough. The only thing I don't care for is the heavy breathing sounds, but I've never been a fan of sound effects in music because I'm easily distracted...others may feel differently...anyway, good job!BTW, cute pics of the grandbabies on your TAXI hosting page.

[davekershaw]

A Feaker Feeler! Yeah Paul, I like the idea!I think the "I don't wanna die" does make it a bit too graphic.Maybe concentrate on the menace of the stalker, and that feeling of being followed, but use an expression that isn't as cold as "die".I feel you could get away with that line if it were sung moretongue-in-cheek, like "Monster Mash". That way, you'd even get kids singing along with it!Just my opinion though.btw: I don't mind the heavy breathing, as long as it's female!

[feaker]

JMy wife heard it for the first time this morning and didn't like the effect either.Pretty funny, I got all dizzy doing it. It can go for sure. Just havin a lil fun.Got 5 grandkids now. it is so cool:)DaveYeah, I don't where this subject matter came from. I was listening to the sting song about "I'll be watching you" and started thinking how creepy that would be and took off from there.Lyrics can go in any direction at all. Don't even know if that qualifies for a chorus?Thanks for the listen/commets guyspaul

[davekershaw]

Quote:I was listening to the sting song about "I'll be watching you" and started thinking how creepy that would be and took off from there.Yeah, that's a great song!You notice he doesn't mention anyone dying in it!

[linziellen]

Hey Paul, This is a cool song and if you type "Ladies, you might not want to listen" I'm going to want to listen!I wasn't too keen on the breathing either, I did wonder how the sound effect of footsteps might work, at the beginning and end. Just an idea. I like the lyric, love the rustling leaves idea. Maybe see what you can come up with other than "die" but I think it sits quite nicely in there. Feels a bit like the chorus is about to set in after those last lines... or perhaps drop back to another couple of verses before the climax. Maybe even a distant scream and then a few lines like "he's gonna get me, get me, get me" Not sure Paul, I certainly like the way this is heading. It's perfect for Halloween Linzi

[feaker]

Hi LinzIt's funny you mentioned footsteps. I brought in leaves in a cardboard box and tried to capture it on the microphone. Didn't sound natural. Will experiment there.As you said, this has to lead to some sort of climax. Can't wait till I hear the comments from my wife when I try all those screams in the basement studio:) Nobody has mentioned if that sounds like a chorus or prechorus? Sounds like you think it is a pre.Good to see your smiling facePaul

[linziellen]

Oh I would so love to hear that! I'd laugh my socks off for sure I'm no good at singing my own lyrics when I find something funny, without sound effects! Yep, personally I feel those are your pre-chorus lines, but others might hear differently. Linzi

[davekershaw]

Yeah, maybe a pre-chorus Paul.Build up to something spectacular!Maybe get your wife to do the screaming!

[jchitty]

Oct 31, 2008, 4:42am, davekershaw wrote:Yeah, maybe a pre-chorus Paul.Build up to something spectacular!Maybe get your wife to do the screaming! Good avatar for Halloween, Dave, but is that just a mock up or a really a pic of Michael Jackson....because if it is, it's sad to see that man's face even worse than it was.