Corporate Virgin!! (please critique)

[jazzstan]

Ok, so I've taken my first run at a "corporate instrumental" .. the listing is a "yes/no" only... so I'll need you guys to give me some feedback! I'm reaching into new musical areas with this, so be gentle! http://capizon.com/music/FancyNancy-081 ... DING/"EDGY" CORPORATE INSTRUMENTALS are needed by a Music Licensing Company run by a veteran in this industry. While Corporate Instrumentals are typically designed to be positive and light, with a tone that inspires productivity, this company is looking for an edgier/more aggressive tone. This doesn't mean that they want the opposite end of the spectrum, just a slight edge to the typical Corporate Instrumental. In other words, you might consider adding an electric guitar or a drum loop in the instrumentation - to add some intensity and inspire a healthy sense of competition. You can stretch in terms of stylistic approach, just keep the overall tone in mind. Prominent melodies not required and all tempos & types of instrumentation are just fine. The company is designed to help producers, music supervisors, etc. find material for their film/TV/commercial/video game project, as well as licensing content to large corporations for in-house presentations and ad campaigns. Performances should be excellent and must be recorded at Master/Broadcastquality. They offer a non-exclusive deal where all profits are split 50/50 between the company and the writer [you keep your copyrights]. Broadcast quality needed [excellent home recordings are OK]. Please submit one to three songs online or per CD. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS ONLY - NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI - and must be received by October 27,2008. TAXI # Y081027IN

[hummingbird]

This does sound corporate, altho I would probably drop the drum beat intro as it doesn't set the atmosphere of the piece. It's a very smooth track. Whether it fits their definition of 'edgy' I can't say. Good work, tho!

[georginasaint]

Hi Jazzstan, I think this is good for corporate. Half way through you up the intensity and I'm thinking that I'd be inclined to start from that point - it has more edge to it. I would say the first half is not "edgy". As Vikki says, I would advise dropping the drum intro, it doesn't really add anything. Georgie

[kitz]

I like this Jazzstan. I liked the intro but like above would drop the solo drum at start. Maybe a little tiny bit of reverb on the snare and hat. Just a thought. Good luck!!!

[davekershaw]

Not sure what a corporate instrumental is, but this sounds good.Nice Santana style guitar.Good luck with it Stan!Dave.

[aubreyz]

I would agree with the above comments -- especially that it seems to fit the listing better as the track develops. Something to check-- first listen it seems that the first simple guitar arpeggio patterns aren't in the pocket timing wise. And the bubble percussion sound reminds me of pop up videos and was a little distracting.IMHO I don't think this perfectly nails the corporate vibe, but it's at least close-- but I could hear this definitely finding a place on a show like Discovery's How It's Made. Aub

[ibanez468]

Hey jazzstan!I like the "feel" of the piece, most definitely. Nice tempo. Yeah, maybe shave off the kick drum intro, and just come straight into it where the guitar & keys come in at. Aub makes a good point about the arpeggios, they're not quite in sync. I know, it's tuff sometimes to get live instruments on the money. Maybe nudge that track forward a bit so it can fall into sync a little better. Kitz makes a nice suggestion. Maybe a little verb on that snare'll bring it out a little bit. Really dig the ending progression there. That's WAY COOL!Overall, I like this tune. Whether or not it's aggressive/edgy enough, will be in the hands of the screener to decide. IMHO, it may not have quite enough edge & UUUMMMPH to it. It sounds a little more relaxed. Good luck with it though. It still has a range of possibilities. Just my $.02.I-468

[jazzstan]

All - thank you SO MUCH for the constructive feedback - that's exactly what I was looking for. I had been up till 3 am working on it, and ya know, some things slipped past me. Hmmm, how did that happen? (duh) So, per your input ... I cut the drum intro, eliminted about half of the bubble effects, verbed the snare and nudged the arpeggios. (which had been bugging me, too!) So I got it done and fixed in time to submit. Gracias! (the link above is to the fixed version) This was my first venture with a bit of a techno vibe, so it's all learning curve (which is one of my prime reasons for keeping with Taxi for these last 10 years). But THIS forum has done a lot for helping me understand where the 'bar' is ... and helping me reach. But here's a funny 'perception' thing that I encountered ... I had three (count 'em, 3!) bass parts. Quarter notes hard left, a sub part playing on the opposite eighth notes panned hard right, and a third hi-pass part playing straight 8ths centered. While each one indivdually was in tune, with all three playing, every other note in the straight 8th part seemed to vary in pitch by a few cents - corresponding with the two left/right parts. Played alone the 8ths notes were perfectly matched, but with all three it ~seemed~ that is was not. Weird, huh?

[devin]

Ya Stan, I've had that "out of tune" situation from a single acoustic guitar track...phase issues from my two mics would show up only when I played a certain note. It sounded like I was doing a string bend...which I wasn't (as it was the open G string).If it's just one or two notes, you can zoom all the way in, and see if the bass waves are in sync at that part. It would be a pain, but I've cut and nudged single notes before to get the waves lined up.Good track!!

[jay10music]

STAN....THIS IS A VERY COOL PIECE ....Nice feel...u did a good job on this...Good Guitar work..Jay....VERY NICE