NEW SONG--SO ALONE TONIGHT

[heinsite]

hello friends and fellow countrymen (or not...)william anderson (wta) and i just finished a new rendition of a tune i've posted quite a while back. this has major revisions, thus here it is again...WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW----willy produced the entire tune--he played all the instruments (and the fake ones too)--he sung all the vocals, because he was the perfect choice for this tune!--but LOL's, it's still my song, my lyrics, my music/melody and i WAS involved with the production. but without william, there would be no EXCELLENT rendition of this tune--period... the link is waaayyyy down there someplace.So Alone TonightVerse 1I know you're all alone?Is it cold in our old home?Read your book but be preparedWe both might get scaredChorus 1 and 3Tonight I'm clearWish you were laying by me here I hope you're still all rightAnd sad that we are each so alone tonight(So alone tonight, I'm alone tonight,So alone tonight)Verse 2Downtown aloneStaring at this hotel phoneI feel so sick and unpreparedThis real life chapter has me scaredChorus 2Tonight's so realI'm still wondering how you feelAnd there will be no fight'Cuz your Cujo's here locked up tonight(musical bridge)Chorus to endOK--have at it axe men and woman, we present So Alone Tonighthttp://www.taximusic.com/download/25315/So%20A ... ght.mp3all the best,warren

[wta]

Folks I GOTTA say for the record that heinzy is the bomb man. I've worked with truck loads of freaky musicians over my 28 years in the biz (ya I started on stage at the tender age of 12) and w. has to be one of the coolest and most talented unsigned songwriters I've had privy to track with. The lyric to this minimulist tune was really good when we started but watching it morph was really an amazing process. What seemed to be simple small changes took the feel of the overall tune up and up with every rewrite. Magic. There is a good reason Warren had the #1 pop tune and #2 country tune on broadjam.com, the man has got sand! I fell into this melody straight out of the shoot, the second fret capoed Ab chord progression was right where I liked it but these haughting overtons really permeated this tune from the get go. I took to the melody and feel and lyric because I've been in the very place this song is talking about and how many people who have any time under their belt can't say the same thing? Anyway I just wanted to chime in here and say what a quality tune Mr. Hein has here and I was so glad to be a part of working on it. I hope in some small way I helped bring some light to this great song...

[dimitry]

Style__ On target for today's market in ________ genre_x_ Not current sounding__ Hard to classifyStyle Comments:It sounds more like traditional country piece to me rather then more modern song. I admit, however, that I am no expert in country music, my style is electronic pop. So, I can't really say how marketable this is. But traditional and even old fashioned doesn't mean nonmarketable. Melody__ Good music in verses__ Verses could be stronger__ Good music in chorus_x_ Verses/Chorus sound too similar__ Memorable Hook_x_ Hook not obvious enoughMelody Comments:Melody is pretty good, especially during the instrumetal break, but I would recommend more contrast between verses and chorus. The way it sounds right now a little monotonous. Structure__ Intro too long_x_ Well-written structure__ Good sectional contrast_x_ Not enough sectional contrast_x_ Could use a bridgeStructure Comments:As I said above, it sounds a little monotonous, so I would recommend a contrasting section. Instrumental solo was very good. Since it's a slow track I would recommend more varying elements.Lyric__ First line makes me want to hear more_x_ Engaging__ Cohesive_x_ Good use of imagery__ Rhymes well_x_ Communicates emotion to listener__ Lacks focus__ Unique__ Too abstract__ I don't understand it__ Too predictable__ Too many cliches__ Awkward phrasing__ Vocal does not help to sell song__ Vocal does help to sell songLyrcial Comments:Your lyrics communicate feelings well and engage the listener into what's going on. In the beginning you rhymed "home" and "alone" - they don't quite rhyme. But it's just a minor thing - overall, rhymes are well-constructed. In your future songs I, however, would advise you to pay closer attention. Title__ Good title__ So-So title__ Can't determine title by listening__ Could appear in a more strategic place__ Doesn't repeat enough__ Repeats too oftenTitle Comments:Good title, sets up what the song is about upfront and thus, makes a connection with the listener.OVERALL COMMENTSNice ballad, but I would work more on the production side. Also, just as an experiment, maybe try a female lead singer. Try adding more rhythm elements - bass, drums, programmed beats, etc. Now give a rating 1 to 10, 1 being the worst, 10 being the best:_5_ Music_6_ Lyrics_4_ Marketability_4_ Arrangement_4_ Production_5_ EngineeringNOW. Would you walk this into a label credibility on this music? __ YES_x_ NONOW. Give a reason why did or didn't forward this:Sounds too raw.

[feaker]

Hein man my good friendI was riveted listening to this.Your magic was really brought to life through willy.Very clean production and great matching voice.Loved the chorus harmony.Beautiful bridge.Neat end change at 3:15.I will expect a personalized autographed CD when this goes platinum:)Always with yaPaul

[stephen1977]

Hmmm.Gotta admit, I like the mode this is written in.At times the singer gave me the impression that Chris Cornell was/is an influence somewhere along the line. Even the songwriting structure reminds me a bit of his solo work. Definitely, definitely not a bad thing!The overall mood of this is right up my alley. I like the slow flow, the almost hypnotic feel. I agree that the verse and chorus seem to blend together with hardly any variation. Harmonies maybe? Another guitar line? Adding something subtle could make a world of difference. Maybe even some light percussion work.I appreciate the 'emptiness' you are creating here, but maybe adding some light bongos, or shaker at the chorus would work to help create more of a separation? I don't think by doing so you would lose that raw quality.I also get a little bit of an Alice in Chains feel on this and one thing that always works to their benefit is the harmonies and percussion work. You know at times, the mix seemed a little loose to me. This could be because I am listening to it through laptop speakers, but I will be sure to give this thing a proper listen tonight in the cans.All in all man, a lot of great qualities to this. I dig the guitar mode. I dig the singing. Much, much potential.

[zoom]

W&W!Nice piece with solid production! I'm not exactly sure where this song "fits" or if it will ever really fit a listing at Taxi.... but having heard a lot of Warren's pieces and knowing his more avant-garde style (and having worked with him myself) I know there are always reasons for breaking out of the box, and this is a good song to do it with! The chords and melody really do evoke the emotion well... especially the vocal.Now of course you could really make this a lot creepier sounding, but I'm glad you kept it clean and sparse... making it eerie from what wasn't there as opposed to what was there.For the production side of things, I liked the rawness of the vocals. I think the guitar could use a little less high end... I'm not sure if it's because of compression settings, EQ/exciter.... I wanted just a touch deader or thinner sounding string (but this is all personal preference here, as it's not a bad sound). Again, you could've done a lot more with instrumentation, rhythm, and playing within the chord progressions in general with this one, but I'm glad you kept it simple.Good tune guys!

[heinsite]

well thank you all so very much for the inputzoom--i know i can count on you to get what i'm doing, and YOU my friend with all the work we did made me better. but in the end, i feel i and will stayed very true to the purpose of the song.paul--as always, thank youstephen--thanks for the comments. yeah, that's sometimes the bag i get from taxi, that the chorus and the verse may be a bit too close--but that is the song, done on purpose, it's own life thing...and dimitry--wow, thank you very much for the taxi screener sheet! you made me feel right at home man! LOL...but seriously, --the one comment you were SPOT ON WITH was the last one: "it sounds too raw"--EXACTLY CORRECT. thank you much for taking the time to be so thorough, though time will tell how this turns out, and nope i don't expect some to get this, nor like it, but we'll see,thanks to all who took the time to listen. william did a great job on this!!!!the best,warren

[hummingbird]

Oct 23, 2008, 9:40pm, dimitry wrote:In the beginning you rhymed "home" and "alone" - they don't quite rhymeThey are close to perfect rhymes, however they are also cliche'd rhymes.

[billg]

Haunting . . . maybe edging close to creepy. I remember this. I think that if it's to have a commercial life there will have to be a bit more to pull the chorus out, but there's a zillion cool things you could try (harmony, adding instrmentation, etc.) - this song has great atmosphere!

[wta]

Wow, you guys/gal rock. I am so thankful for you guys, you have no idea, over the years it was always so hard to get some qualified feedback and I have to say that this "peer to peer" forum is the pinnacle of the Michael Laskow genius! I also have to say that doing minimalist music is SO scary hard. You are so naked and transparent there is NO WHERE TO HIDE! Ya'll know what I mean knowing that "the drums and bass will cover that mistake" parachute was no where to be found and either we were going to fly this plane to its destination or we were going to crash and burn... Our greatest advantage in my opinion (other than having a damm good song) is that I own my own private studio so making changes was a breeze and there's nothing better than having "fresh ears" the next day to find problem areas. Studying (on my personal time, and I am still and always will be a student) audio engineering and buying the right gear has to be one of the best directions I've taken as a “musician” and songwriter and I encourage everyone to either delve into it or colab with someone who has and your production flow with increase exponentially! Ya'll rock! '-)