NEW SONG--SO ALONE TONIGHT

[heinsite]

hello friends and fellow countrymen (or not...)william anderson (wta) and i just finished a new rendition of a tune i've posted quite a while back. this has major revisions, thus here it is again...WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW----willy produced the entire tune--he played all the instruments (and the fake ones too)--he sung all the vocals, because he was the perfect choice for this tune!--but LOL's, it's still my song, my lyrics, my music/melody and i WAS involved with the production. but without william, there would be no EXCELLENT rendition of this tune--period... the link is waaayyyy down there someplace.So Alone TonightVerse 1I know you're all alone?Is it cold in our old home?Read your book but be preparedWe both might get scaredChorus 1 and 3Tonight I'm clearWish you were laying by me here I hope you're still all rightAnd sad that we are each so alone tonight(So alone tonight, I'm alone tonight,So alone tonight)Verse 2Downtown aloneStaring at this hotel phoneI feel so sick and unpreparedThis real life chapter has me scaredChorus 2Tonight's so realI'm still wondering how you feelAnd there will be no fight'Cuz your Cujo's here locked up tonight(musical bridge)Chorus to endOK--have at it axe men and woman, we present So Alone Tonighthttp://www.taximusic.com/download/25315/So%20A ... ght.mp3all the best,warren

[jchitty]

Warren and William (the two W's), this is a great song....I love your quirky lyrics, Warren...you know how much too. Really good production too, William! You folks really did a great job, although my one concern is that William's vocals sounded just a bit fuzzy in a few places, but then again, my laptop speaker could be to blame. Other than that, I'm proud of you guys for this one!

[matthoggard]

This is freakin cool!The lyrics are definately left of center. I like the imperfect rhyme and the slight cliche. For me the vocal is a bit loud. I think this style should have the vocals mixed a little more evenly. You know those songs where you can just almost make out the lyric and you sing along only to find out later that what your singing isnt what the lyrics are saying at all. Just my personal preference.Excellent work overall. 9.825/10

[cameron]

Hey Kids,OK I already posted once last night but it's gone now! Damn I must have pushed the wrong button.Anyway, you two make a very cool combination. I could see this being just right for Halloween (in an Alfred Hitchcock sorta way) with a few lyric changes.Yeah, OK a little chorus lift could be in order, but isn't that always the case for all of us???Keep 'em rollin'... (or is that "keep rolling 'em'?) Cam

[cameron]

Oct 24, 2008, 7:50pm, heinsite wrote:hey thanks cam, and again congrats on the high bar forward for c/w--we all should be so talented my friend...Warren buddy, you're just oozing talent, my man. I think William already said it best:Oct 23, 2008, 9:29pm, wta wrote: Folks I GOTTA say for the record that heinzy is the bomb man. I've worked with truck loads of freaky musicians over my 28 years in the biz (ya I started on stage at the tender age of 12) and w. has to be one of the coolest and most talented unsigned songwriters I've had privy to track with. I especially like the part about "freaky musicians" Cam

[geo]

Cool tune guys!!! Will... what do you prefer... wta? Anyway great vocal job.... bit retro Seattle grung stlye to my ear... but I like it... I would go with a full production... I think the chorus would stand out more ... though Warren my friend.... maybe repeat the hook a second time after the chorus .... I would prefer the tonight to be held longer but that's more a personal thing...Good job guys...Geo

[chrisbee]

Oct 23, 2008, 7:27pm, heinsite wrote:hello friends and fellow countrymen (or not...)william anderson (wta) and i just finished a new rendition of a tune i've posted quite a while back. this has major revisions, thus here it is again...Hey Warren - I like the hook! I think, overall it's a very good idea. Also the vocals were spot on pitch-wise, which is HUGE! When does THAT ever happen??? Nice job!However, if I was looking for weak points, things that I think would hold this song & it's recording back I'd say that:- the voice is a naturally very intense rock voice and I kept wanting more out of the production - supporting the voice more. It felt the song production was holding the voice back. For instance, the string/pad thing behind the guitars never went anywhere - it was just flat; never came forward, never went away, just... there. That's a small thing, really more of a symptom than the major problem, but a good example of what I mean. I just wanted the song to push the voice more. There is a lot of passion in the voice.Also, the guitar is way out of time - almost 5/4 in the intro and outro - it's very obvious that this was done without a click track. I think it needed it.Please take this as just one guy's opinion! I think you're getting a lot of things right. Overall - I really do like the hook, the words and the voice. Good job!cb

[wignelson]

Oct 24, 2008, 8:22am, hummingbird wrote:Oct 23, 2008, 9:40pm, dimitry wrote:In the beginning you rhymed "home" and "alone" - they don't quite rhymeThey are close to perfect rhymes, however they are also cliche'd rhymes.The term for these rhymes are, "close rhymes," "false rhymes," "slant rhymes" and "near rhymes."You can look it up in the book, Little Shop of Lyrics written by me.Wig By the way, I didn't make this shit up. I did the research.

[wignelson]

Gotcha, Will, You are right, "alone" and "phone" are perfect rhymes. They are also what you would call masculine rhymes being that they have only one syllable. Like "ball" "call" "fall" "small" - as opposed to feminine rhymes like "flowing" "glowing" "knowing" "blowing" "growing" etc.Just something to keep in mind in case someone thinks you and Warren are getting a little close to the sheep. Wig

[cameron]

Oct 26, 2008, 3:52pm, wignelson wrote:Oct 24, 2008, 8:22am, hummingbird wrote:They are close to perfect rhymes, however they are also cliche'd rhymes.The term for these rhymes are, "close rhymes," "false rhymes," "slant rhymes" and "near rhymes."You can look it up in the book, Little Shop of Lyrics written by me.Wig By the way, I didn't make this shit up. I did the research.Wig, Wow, I didn't realize you wrote the book we'd been talking about. Very impressive.Cam