Where Did I Put God

[cameron]

Oct 25, 2008, 5:05am, claire wrote:Also, your chorus seems to be more of a bridge in an AABA structured song where your hook is the last line of each verse. I'd keep any form of the hook out of that bridge. I'd actually shorten the bridge and take out that last line (or maybe even the last two lines).ClaireOK, I don't mean to hijack this thread, but I'm writing a song as we speak that is exactly AABA where the hook is the last line of each verse and I was wondering if that's considered acceptable?? I keep trying to change it so that it's a more conventional ABAB but it just sounds forced. So is the AABA gonna fly in Nashville? This is an a la Taylor Swift song I'm working on...Cam

[wignelson]

Oct 24, 2008, 4:31pm, jchitty wrote:Hey, thanks, Wig and Bill I used "Allah" because in Christian America, that could be seen as pretty controversial....I used 'among the crows' because I think God is found in the smallest and darkest of places sometimes, not some fancy schmacy place. And there may not even be a God...just because I believe, doesn't make it so. And when I said, "If I could only find him with no fingers or toes, I know I might find God".... this line means that God is so much more than we human beings can perceive....sometimes, organized religion tries to put all kinds on attachments (fingers and toes) on people, demanding that they see God a certain way, but I think he's so much more than we can even fathom...hell, I can't even explain my own lyrics, you probably got them more than me, LOL. I'd have to disagree with you on one point, Chits:Just because you believe, does make it so. Great lyrics, wouldn't change a thing. I like the melody too.IMNSHO taking the quirkiness out of this would just dumb it down.Just needs a little polish. Wig

[squids]

Chits,Thrilled to be doing this with you!! Can't wait to sink my teeth into these lyrics, been admirin' 'em for a while now. Writin' doesn't get much betta than this fo a gal like me.

[linziellen]

I like it very much Chits, it's dark, it's deep. You know how I feel about a little mystery, it only adds to the pleasure of listening, gives us more to think about. I think you know what you're saying, but you've given us some clever leeway Well done, I'm looking forward to hearing this when Squids sinks her teeth in.Linzi

[liamkelly]

That's an excellent lyric, Janet. Chock full of potent metaphors. The Allah verse is just sublime Enjoyed the melody too Squids will nail it, fo' sho' I'm really looking forward to the final version.

[jchitty]

Thanks everyone for all your wonderful suggestions and thoughts...they are much appreciated. I wish I had time to leave everyone a post (who critiqued my song)....I usually thank everyone individually 'coz if you took the time to give me a critique, I know that took a bite out of your valuable time. My in-laws are here though, and I can't get five minutes away from the computer, but I did read every thought here and ponder it....glad you all liked the lyrics. BTW, I owe folks e-mails and private messages....and I will answer them ASAP. My in-laws leave Tuesday, so hopefully, I'll get them answered by then.Anyway, thanks once again folks!