Country Song - Feedback Requested

[zoom]

Hey Jim!You've gotta understand something when it comes to Taxi and contemporary country.... most of the listings have a VERY high bar! Not only are they looking for lyrics that shine, but so does the production.As everyone has pretty much said... what you have here is a pop or pop crossover tune -- and a pretty good one at that! However, both your lyrics and your production aren't up to the bar yet.If you're not sure what the contemporary sound is (or don't know how to achieve it, or haven't practiced it enough to get it, etc.), then my suggestion would be to get it demo'd by the pros, as Dale suggested. That way you don't have to spend time trying to get the special sound you want... which is time you could be spending writing another cool song! And yep, I too think the lyrics -- while they have some good images -- are a bit on the stale side, especially for the contemporary country bar. CC is all about the lyrics, it seems to me. You'll need to freshen them up quite a bit to clear it.However, if you stay on the pop/crossover side of things.... then the lyrics aren't the ONLY thing that matters in the song anymore, and having some familiar phrases are ok. You'll still want to refine the lyrics anyway, but hopefully you get what I mean.Hope that helps.... you're on your way with this piece! Cheers!

[acousticeel]

Hey all. Thanks again for the great feedback. I've been working on the song as time allows, trying to "soften it up" a little, but it's frustrating as I'm sure you all know. Sometimes I think if I play it one more time I'm gonna puke. Anyway, I think and can change the music but I'm totally at a loss on the lyrics. I know the one line about "feel the sand in between your toes" has probably been done a million times so it's got to go. What about the chorus however, is that ok or do I need to dump everything and start over? Any recommendatons would be appreciated as always. For that matter, anybody want to write the lyrics for it? I'm certainly not opposed to collaboration. Thanks again....Jim

[momof4]

hi! i didn't get a chance to listen to the song, but based on the lyrics, it seems like an easy-going love song, very relatable, very relaxed. my favorite word in the whole song is the "satellites" - it really stands out. in fact, my one little opinion would be to maybe add some more great words like that to give this lyric a little more uniqueness. just a though. it's good as-is, in my opinion, but it could be unique and really stand out from the pack by putting a few more words/phrases that "stick" in the listeners mind. just my thoughts. i'm a word person, and the lyric read pretty "average" until the satellite lines. maybe that's just me, though. hope this helps a bit!erin

[acousticeel]

Hey Erin, thanks for the feedback. I think that's a really good suggestion. I'm going to try to use more references to planets, heavenly bodies, etc., to tie the rest of the song to the "satellites". You've given me a less generic direction to go in. Again, thanks a lot....Jim

[questor]

Wow, I can totally hear this song in more of a pop-rock genre, however, while I do like the lyrics alot, I think the chorus could be made stronger with an alternative lyric or melody, but the verses are great, lots of imagery, which is definitely a keeper. Perhaps that might be why the chorus needs something more IMHO. The imagery and strength of the verses seem to want to lead to a more spectacular chorus, rather than simply "there's something about our love"...not to say that the chorus is weak...it isn't, it is perfectly fine (more than fine), but I just get the feel it could be lyrically (and perhaps melodically) a bit stronger which would make the song go from "above average" to "Great".Hope that makes sense, and of course that's just one man's opinion, as always, look for common opinions by mutiple reviewers for the best insight.Nice tune, good job.Q