Same Shirt Different Day (added Taxi critique)

[liamkelly]

Sept 23, 2008, 6:24pm, cameron wrote:Yeah I wondered about the polo shirt reference sounding too "preppie". I was thinking of those company shirts with the logos on them. I'll probably change that to something else if I do a pro demo.Gotcha. I didn't get that from the line. My bad.I do think, though, that your idea of having a preppy-ish reference for contrast is spot on. Personally, I wouldn't change the line too much.Liam

[zoom]

Ok.... chiming in on this thread a little late... Good tune Cam!Great Jimmy Buffet type of song with a "blue collar" theme. Did you stay away from my bad reference because it's cliche? I would agree with everyone about polo shirt.... maybe change that to "workin' shirt" or something like that. Still gives a descriptor without having a contrasting image.While I think your demo is ok, I think you need to refine your instrument choices for the virtual instruments before you're ready for a pro voice to come in. That electric piano opening riff is a little harsh and doesn't mesh with the rest of the song IMO (probably why you buried it in the mix after the first time through). Possibly something with a softer attack on it, which then you could bring out more in the mix. The drums are ok, but seem a little stiff and synthy.... which could be ok for a demo, but once you get a studio voice on it could make the music seem only average, which for some higher bar listings may result in an R.Plus, this song really could be placed in tv/film pretty easily I would think, so upping to a full on demo could be a good choice too.HTH Cam.... I enjoyed the listen!

[heinsite]

"company shirt" could work too with slight rephrasing of the line, also reinforces you're workin' for "the man." LOL. "i work up a sweat in my company shirt.", yeah, could work...wh

[geo]

Sept 25, 2008, 7:56am, heinsite wrote:"company shirt" could work too with slight rephrasing of the line, also reinforces you're workin' for "the man." LOL. "i work up a sweat in my company shirt.", yeah, could work...whWarren beat me to it.... I was thinking company shirt too.... cool song Cam... love the pop tart / Twix line....Geo

[zoom]

Sept 25, 2008, 9:22am, geo wrote:Sept 25, 2008, 7:56am, heinsite wrote:"company shirt" could work too with slight rephrasing of the line, also reinforces you're workin' for "the man." LOL. "i work up a sweat in my company shirt.", yeah, could work...whWarren beat me to it.... I was thinking company shirt too.... cool song Cam... love the pop tart / Twix line....GeoUmmm.... he already said that in the first verse... just trying for some other alternatives

[cameron]

I'm thinking "Work up a sweat in my Ace Excavating shirt". Gives a little better picture of the company shirt and makes it more personal imho. I can make it work by changing the rhythm of the line a bit. I was sitting behind a truck pulling a backhoe at a traffic light yesterday and it was "Bubba's Excavating" or something like that, and that made me think of putting the work excavating in there. Can't fit two syllables for the company name but I can fit one.Cam

[geo]

Sept 25, 2008, 11:59am, zoom wrote:Sept 25, 2008, 9:22am, geo wrote:Warren beat me to it.... I was thinking company shirt too.... cool song Cam... love the pop tart / Twix line....GeoUmmm.... he already said that in the first verse... just trying for some other alternatives I think it should be "that company shirt" in the second verse.... the song is "same shirt, different day"... to use the same phrase works.... plus gives no doubt what shirt you are refering too... don't over think it....Peace, Geo

[liamkelly]

I like how Cam refers to the preppy shirt in V2 as a contrast to the otherwise earthy tone. I just didn't get what he meant by 'polo shirt' initially.Just saying..... Peep and all that

[cameron]

Hey Liam,I understand you're rooming with Steve at the Rally. I'll pay you ten bucks to play a CD of this song over and over in your room. It's a private joke, but trust me, he'll love it.Cameron

[liamkelly]

Sept 25, 2008, 2:14pm, cameron wrote:Hey Liam,I understand you're rooming with Steve at the Rally. I'll pay you ten bucks to play a CD of this song over and over in your room. It's a private joke, but trust me, he'll love it.CameronDeal! You're at the Rally, right? If so, really looking forward to hooking up!