Deja Vu Blues

[blujonny]

When doing an intro to a song I would refrain from letting an instrument do a "solo" thing. The ears are preparing for a hook or melody at the beginning and a solo just throws the senses off and sounds too sudden. I'm referring to the bass here. Also your voice seems to jump in a hair too soon. Also, I'm not sure why the bass disappears all of a sudden. I like your voice, however there is a slight rap style to your voice which seems to contradict the melody in the background. I don't think it works, after the intro, to have a whole section without a melodic line either. I'm just not accepting the style of voice with the harmonious background music. Your voice is very raw and edgy, however the background is very sweet and sublime. I'm not sure they gel. Your voice is definitely buzz worthy though.

[billg]

hey blujonny, you're not also known as screener #260 are you?There are thousands of songs that kick in with a solo or signature lick (think of all of the guitar intros, harmonica intros, etc.). So, I dunno where you're comin' from on that. All you have to say is "I don't like the bass thing in the beginning" & i'm cool with that. Not so cool with the fake professor stuff though.That's my voice in the backround vocals too. Trust me on this . . . if you solo them you'll see that they are not so "sweet & sublime"!

[daniel481]

I'm with ya Bill, nothing wrong with a melodic intro. "Sweet Child O Mine" anyone? Not to mention literally uh, hundreds of others...Cool stuff though man! I agree that it's a bit pitchy, but everyone else has chimed in with some great ideas, so I'm sure you'll get it there.Dan

[frodo]

Hi billg,I enjoyed listening to this. Nice vibe. On the 'possibility for making things better' side, I think the whole singing thing was cool, but maybe too much Dylan-imitator-like to make the song and performance stand on it's own?The beginning was also maybe a bit long and slow and messy. Still, sounds good, great attitude, - I liked it. - until next timefrodo

[squids]

Um........I don't wanna harangue anybody but this is a pop/blues tune......there's pretty much always some guitar solo or harp solo or something as an intro. Guess I'm not followin blujohnny at all on this. Also, I think this is an interesting song in that it's got a quirky and comedic slant to it. It's not entirely comedic, more like a wry sense of humor, pokin' fun in a sorta pop/blues format (which you don't hear a lot). It's a nice alt tune. To me, it'd be jes an excellent film/tv track that a music supe would love to have. AND (please take note bill), I relistened to the vox tracks again when I wasn't so tired and I don't think you should do a damn thing to 'em, bill. I think it adds to the tune to have you slightly off in spots. Gives it some authenticity, adds to its individuality and helps put across the quirkiness of the lyrics. That's my story and I ain't budgin'. I'm with chits and not because I love ya guy but because this is a really nice bit of work here. You know I'd tell you upfront if it wasn't (jes wouldn't post about it, lol).

[blujonny]

LOL @ the fake professor comment Sorry, I didn't mean to come off as pretentious or as "holier than though" if you know what I mean. I think I just wanted to have a professional explanation of what was going through my head. I just know that during the intro you want to hear the hook or at least a part of it right? And I just think when the bass trails off into something improvisational (during the intro) when it seems like it's about to give us a sense of the hook or melody line didn't sound right to me. To me the bass drop off didn't sound right that soon after the intro. I can't remember a bass part taking a break in a rock/pop song unless it's because of the nature of the bridge or solo. I think your voice is great, I just felt that you had your own rhythm thing going on within it along with the rough edges that seemed to separate it from everything else that was going on musically. I'm sorry if my comments weren't popular, I guess I'm just saying what comes from my own intuition. As an added remark I would never say anything billg that is meant to be negative or coming from a standpoint of "I don't like this song." There is plenty of stuff to like in your song. Obviously it's not easy to trust someone's criticism when you don't know the person or don't know where the person's heart is. Hopefully you can believe me when I say I'm not a cynic or a bomb thrower.

[squids]

bomb thrower. Heh, that's a new one. Love it!

[billg]

no sweat blujonny. i can catch bombs with my teeth!!!

[blujonny]

I believe you billg!

[billg]

gotta new mix, not as pitchy I hope . . . still workin' on it. Steve (from Vangroovy) was nice enough to volunteer to run the vocal track through his pitch correction software. That ought ot be really interesting! maybe i'll sound like a pop star (or Cher!!). Anyhow, he has the track & when he's finished I'll post it up. This was my last effort (w/out pitch correction). http://www.billgaunce.com/song/0