VER5 (the one we submitted) - for HOMELESS listing

[leejohnson]

OK, here is a version I think we are going to submit. We have received so much helpful advice from everyone. I have done a lot of vocal re-phrasing and mixing and other items, to try to capture your ideas and infuse them in the song. Thanks again to everyone on this thread, and especially my co-writer and new friend Dean who is a real pleasure to work with!Best,Leehttp://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_id=102827&stream=1

[arthurjames]

Hello Lee and Dean,Newbie Arthur here, getting my feet wet on the forum. I really liked the slightly pulled back vocal performance, Lee. I can hear the vulnerability which feels so important on a tune like this. The difference is subtle but powerful, pulls me in much more than previous versions. I really like the tune and it's wonderful to see how this community works together. Nice work to both of you.Arthur

[hummingbird]

Quote:OK, here is a version I think we are going to submit. We have received so much helpful advice from everyone. I have done a lot of vocal re-phrasing and mixing and other items, to try to capture your ideas and infuse them in the song. Thanks again to everyone on this thread, and especially my co-writer and new friend Dean who is a real pleasure to work with!Best,Leehttp://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_id=102827&stream=1You two have come so far with this, and every version has been better than the one before.IMO there's a tamborine or high hat that sizzles a little in the chorus, I'd back it off a little if you can, or EQ it.Just a suggestion on the bridge - try dropping out the drums there (2:10/2:11) & coming back in on the kick at 2:19 - I think that would give it a little more contrast with the voice over sustained guitar.Good luck with the submission! Hope your hard work pays off,cheersHummin'bird

[deantaylor]

Thanks for all your awesome comments. We love you guys! Lee is great to work with. Thanks Arthur and Vikki for continuing to comment on the submitted version 5. Comments still welcome, because we plan to submit the song to further listings .. it can still be changed and improved. Got any 'sounds-likes or ala's' .. tell us.Dean

[exiled]

Hey Dean, Lee!! Great job! I really like the song. I didn't get the chance to listen to the previous versions, but from what I read it seems the song really came a long way.I think it really conveys the feeling of despair that a homeless person must feel... Best of luck to you with it!

[billg]

Hey guys, this song really got a lot better through all of the "re-works!" This last one sounds really good. I would make another pass with a little less compression. Sounds maybe (emphasis on maybe) just a tad too squashed. Otherwise pretty darn good!