Geo, with one for the ladies... *UPDATED*

[geo]

Hey guys, 'nother scratch, me doing everything, I'm doing the FAWM thing so I'm just getting the songs down so I don't loss anything, but any comments/ideas welcomed.This song was mostly written by my wife, well we wrote it together, (it was fun) I had to enforce "word for a third" so she would let me take some writting credit, I am planning on redoing it, hopefully with a female vocalist, think there's some potential, thanks in advance... Geohttp://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_id=9836 ... Louisville SluggerLyrics and music by Kim & George Daniels© 2008Sometimes there’s laughter, sometimes tears,When you’ve been together so many years.Sometimes heartache, sometimes romance, Sometimes you’re watching TV with your hand down your pants.You make me wanna hit myself in the head, with a bat, a Louisville Slugger,You make me wanna hit myself in the head, with a bat, a Louisville Slugger,You think I’m crazy, you call me insane,Well you drive me there like a runaway train.I’m not your Mommy, I’m not your maid,So why you acting like you’re in the 5th Grade.Put down the seat, please close the door,Wash a dish or how ‘bout sweeping the floor?Get off the computer all you do is surf porn,I shouldn’t have to live my life like this any more.You make me wanna hit myself in the head, with a bat, a Louisville Slugger,You make me wanna hit myself in the head, with a bat, a Louisville Slugger,I am a woman first, not your wife,Don’t you think that I want more in my life?I am your lover, I could be your whore,Just put down the remote and pay attention some more.You make me wanna hit myself in the head, with a bat, a Louisville Slugger,You make me wanna hit myself in the head, with a bat, a Louisville Slugger,SoloWanna pull my hair out, sometimes I want to scream,But then you walk in with my favorite ice-cream,Tell me no one ever loved me more,I’m afraid to say it but you had me, standing at the door.You make me wanna hit myself in the head, with a bat, a Louisville Slugger,You make me wanna hit myself in the head, with a bat, a Louisville Slugger,You make me wanna hit myself in the head, with a bat, a Louisville Slugger,You make me wanna hit myself in the head, with a bat, a Louisville Slugger,

[geo]

Hey guys, added more guitars, keyboard and redid the vocals....It's got this SKA thing going on, would it work for either of these listings? (with a female vocalist and good guitar player) I know it's not traditional POP/ROCK but sometimes that can work in it's favor... yes/no? Novelty song, etc. Enjoy... GeoNEW LISTING -- MODERN POP/HOT AC SONGS a la Colbie Caillat, Sara Bareilles, Alicia Keys, etc. are needed by Producers with Grammy statues and extensive major label and Hollywood credits, producing a new female artist. The producers are looking for Pop material that also has Soul and Acoustic elements/nuances. These should not be "dance floor burners" but should be well-constructed & melodically driven songs that are aimed at the late teen/college female audience. This artist has incredible vocal chops, but "circus Pop" isn't what's needed here. They're looking for intelligent & insightful narrative lyrics, with the sonic quality of a 21st century Pop masterpiece. Please submit 2-3 songs online or per CD. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI and should be received no later than Feb. 21, 2008Current-sounding FEMALE ROCK/POP SONGS in the general range of Fergie, Amy Winehouse, Jessica Simpson, etc. are sought by a Grammy-nominated Producer working with a young, female artist in need of hit songs. These songs will be selected for Film/TV Masters and for the purpose of shopping this new, talented artist for a major label deal. All-Star Los Angeles musicians are slated to record this artist's debut project. Some of the producer's past credits include Billy Bragg, Whitney Houston, Taj Mahal, and Cissy Houston. The producer himself will screen your submissions. Please submit two to three songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS ONLY -- NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI. Submissions must be received no later than Feb. 19, 2008.

[deantaylor]

Geo,Of course, a woman singer would help sell it. lolThe song has a cool vibe going on. It's fun. The lyrics seem a bit clumsy in places. Smooth them out and you've got something.Love the TAG: PS I love you. Dean

[geo]

Thanks Dean... I was going for a fun vibe, falling back on my island roots again, gotta learn how to breath so I get more flow in my delivery, a little tweeking and they should flow nice..... just sent this one and Superstar to a local vocalist who's considering singing for me... fingers crossed, Geo

[deantaylor]

Cool!

[vicky]

hey there...funny vocals and catchy lyrics,,,,I think it would sound cool to have the classic kick on 2 and 4 in the first verse and beginning of second......actually it isn't as common to have a double verse in the second...seems to want to be first verse...watch out for too much sameness in the vocal melody....the rhyming scheme lends itself to identical phrases, so create another way...even a bar or two of extra music in between a phrase or two could work...when you come in with the "You make me wanna hit myself in the head, with a bat, a Louisville Slugger" try not starting on the downbeat....also, on some of the "with a bat" lines a full band break behind could work...at the end...vary the things want to hit yourself in the head with..so there's a funny surprise....a single note guitar hook/threading could work...as secondary hook...overlap...so guitar phrase begins in the middle of vocal and tapers out in the middle of the next line....this is subtle so not to disrupt vocal...let me know how it turns out....good luck,Vicky

[steini]

Ok, gonna suggest some radical stuff hereThis thing should be in reggea outfit completely with some vocings on the vocals most of the time and with more strange keyboard alla Wailers....Try it out

[steini]

also I would transpose it down a fourth and you should sing one octave higher....

[feaker]

It is in fact a hoot. Paul