Geo proves he really can't sing!!

[geo]

Hey guys this is a scratch recording of a new song I just wrote that we are planning to record. I'm singing (my vocalist is away) and I'm banging on the bass and guitars (NY's resolution, less programming) so I'm not looking for a critique of my playing (or singing for that matter) but just lyric/arrangement/drum loop critiques or any ideas you may have production wise for the upcoming recording session.(There are a few changes in the lyrics, the ones below are the latest)I lucked out and found a guitar player with a degree in engineering and we are most likely going to stay all guitars on this one with a similar feel to what's here.So enjoy the song, have a laugh at my singing and leave a comment... Geohttp://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_id=9475 ... “Superstar!” ($10,000.00)Lyrics and music by George Daniels© 2008You paid ten thousand dollars for that hand-bag, Ten thousand dollars for those shoes,But more than ten thousand children go hungry, Wanna impress me? Tell me what do you plan to do.Got your Dolce & Gabbana, and your Jimmy Choos.But I’ve got ten thousand reasons I never wanna be like you.Just who in the hell do you think you are,“Superstar!” You think you’re a Superstar.You paid ten thousand dollars for that diamond,Ten thousand dollars for those clothes.But if only ten thousand families were homeless,That’s still ten thousand more than currently in your summer home.Got your Dolce & Gabbana, and your Jimmy Choos.But I’ve got ten thousand reasons I never wanna be like you.Just who in the world hell do you think you are,“Superstar!”You think you’re a Superstar. SoloUsed to be I saw your face everywhere,Used to be you blew your nose we all cared,Used to be everything you touched turned to gold,But now the clock’s, tick, ticking who’s afraid to get old.Ten thousand dollars worth Botox, Ten thousand dollars for that nose,But more than ten thousand little girls are dreaming, Why they wanna be like you? God only knows.Got your Hermis and your Cartier and your Chanel too,Oscar DeLarenta and honey now don’t forget the shoes.Got your Dolce & Gabbana, and your Jimmy Choos. But I’ve got ten thousand reasons I never wanna be like you.Just who in the hell do you think you are,“Superstar!”You think you’re a Superstar.Well you ain’t no Superstar, no.Said you ain’t no Superstar.So tell me just who in the hell do you think you are?“Superstar!”

[audiorayne]

Hey Geo,Not bad! I like the guitars and drum arrangement. I especially the subject matter! Dang superstars! One comment - there's a part around 2:00 with a long-ish instrumental section.. might be good to fill in with another instrument or some vox? just my 2cents..Good work! (was this your all nighter?? )-AR

[geo]

Yep, gotta love Garageband, doing the FAWM challenge and this one popped out, it's a premie, but it's going count. Yeah that's a solo section there in the middle, not sure if that will be guitar as well, might be sax. Also I sneaked bpm up 2 beats.I also am negotiating to have a female vocalist do it as well as my regular guy for this listing. (why Amy Winehoe in a ROCK/POP ala?) Trying to finish it early (another NY's res).NEW LISTING -- Current-sounding FEMALE ROCK/POP SONGS in the general range of Fergie, Amy Winehouse, Jessica Simpson, etc. are sought by a Grammy-nominated Producer working with a young, female artist in need of hit songs. These songs will be selected for Film/TV Masters and for the purpose of shopping this new, talented artist for a major label deal. All-Star Los Angeles musicians are slated to record this artist's debut project. Some of the producer's past credits include Billy Bragg, Whitney Houston, Taj Mahal, and Cissy Houston. The producer himself will screen your submissions. Please submit two to three songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS ONLY -- NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI. Submissions must be received no later than Feb. 19, 2008.

[tomaragon]

Geo:Scratch tracks are fun aren't they? Especially after you've reached the final product and go back and listen to where the song evolved from. I think the basic elements are there. The bass and guitars are working, as well as the scratch vocal for a vocalist to get the idea.The suggestion I would make is to change the drum pattern that is used on the intro and the first half of your verses.I think you use it on the vamp for the solo section too.That pattern doesn't work as well as the other sections of your song.Just a thought.

[Casey H]

Hi GeoHey, I'm the king of not being able to sing... You sound pretty good actually. I could hear you doing Hendrix with that deep voice of yours. Actually, it wouldn't be a bad idea to make it a Hendrix-style replacement track. You've got some good stuff here. The problem for me is (in many places) it sounds too much like the old Buffalo Springfield song, "For What It's Worth". But for something retro or a modernized version of retro, the lyrics work well. Is it too close to that old song? I don't know. There's a ton of songs with similar chord structures, melodies, etc... Hard to say...Best, Casey

[geo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m0yCM5uhQULuv that song Case, top link's a version I saw on the Muppet Show when I was younger, the bottom one is The Smother's Brothers, everyone's pretty pie eyed.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wm6NeM-6vBEI dunno, it's a simple E/A/D thing with a B/A turnaround, everyone's used it, I hear what you mean on the verses, my singer will put his stamp on it so that should distance it more. Thanks for the voice comp, it's all throat, 3 takes and I'm done ... Geo

[vicky]

Geo.....yeah!!! on the vocals....very cool song!!!when I hear this I hear alot of possibilities for a HIT!!!....this song reminds me of the Dead Presidents...song writing stuff....there has got to be a newer way of saying..."children are going hungry"....OK don't jump down my throat for being something or another relating to political correctness....but that line is not as powerful as you want it to be, because it's a cliche....and while I'm at it...the homeless line is in the same catagory....if you can describe the superstar in detail down to the corporations why not the juxtaposition?....also catchy melodic rhythms are waiting for you with alot of the lyrics....Also "who the hell do you think you are" cliche...there's a break there for a memorable line that sticks in the mind, and forces one to sing along to everyone in the room......instrumental break needs a new rhythm.....or a spoken word-super hook..(start naming those 10 thousand reasons)...I'm thinking about Blondie....Rapture.....where the people meet....face to face cheek to cheek...really good (ok great) loops.....I'd like to hear a single long note guitar line behind the verse.....I agree that the progression is vanilla, but that's the beauty of it...i'm tough on you maybe,good luck...vicky ...shift key is broke...

[geo]

Thanks V, glad you liked the song, I can't wait to get going on it. You have given me some good suggestions, Grasshopper, let's see:Yep, "children hungry" and "homeless" lines are a little played, I'll search for alternatives, they're not rhyming lines so I got some leeway.The "Who in the hell do..." line was kinda a homage to Jesus Christ Superstar, but I was playing around with some others there:1) "How many times have you crashed your car, Superstar"2) "How many times have you lip synced so far..."3) "How many times have you been to rehab so far....."OK, feel free to vote, I'm leaning towards #3 .Thanks for the props on the loops, I program my own, really enjoy it so the compliment is very appreciated. I like the idea of a different feel for the solo section, maybe a combo of a more rhythmic solo with the spoken bit over.... hmmm, I'll try it.Thanks for the listen, I'll post changes.... Geo

[vicky]

Quote:The "Who in the hell do..." line was kinda a homage to Jesus Christ Superstar, but I was playing around with some others there:....me bad...Quote:1) "How many times have you crashed your car, Superstar"2) "How many times have you lip synced so far..."3) "How many times have you been to rehab so far....."...hilarious!!!!!

[geo]

Glad you liked them, don't worry about the "me bad", I was just explaining why I used the line, doesn't mean I wouldn't consider changing it.How about using 1,2 & 3 after the verses and use the "Just who in the hell..." line at the end?Any thoughts......