Up-tempo Country -- Care to critique?

[pesmitty]

All of the countyr listings seem to prefer uptempos these days (maybe they always have). Here's "Ordinary Man", which I plan to submit to those listings. As always, your thoughts are appreciated.www.myspace.com/perrysmithmusicorwww.ta ... mittyPerry

[nknjmes]

I like it a lot. Conversational lyrics, and I dig the chorus. Definite forward potential.

[deantaylor]

Perry,I think it is a very good song. Nice lifted chorus. It moves and flows well. Really like the vox. Production seems top notch. Submit it! My only nit is on the last line of the chorus ... 'that I love 'cause it's mine'. Could be wrong .. have to listen again .. but it hits me as a bit 'anti-climatic' as an ending ... to love it 'just 'cause it's mine'. Seems like you can probably come up with a better ending line than that.Dean

[ephlat66]

Very good song. Definitely a submitter IMO.This lyric tho-That sorta thing dont get me downIn fact it even kinda makes me frownCause I keep my feet on solid groundThese lines don't work at all IMO. In fact, they're lame enough to jar you out of the lighthearted good feeling the song provides. Really like the tempo change at the beginning of the last chorus. This is a technique i need to employ more in my own stuff. Don

[pesmitty]

No, no, no it says "In fact it even kinda makes me PROUD!" Thanks for the comments and listen, guys. I really appreciate the input.Perry

[ciskokidd]

Hey Perry,I really dig this song. The lyric concept is great and the melody is downright catchy as all be. My only small comment is that the second verse would be well suited followed by a different pre-chorus lyrically. The one that you use throughout works but it doesn't quite fit the second verse in that killer Nashville fashion.Regardless though, I think you have a really really good uptempo country song that fits the Country Male Stars to a tee.I think some forwards are in your near future!!Best,Cisco

[deantaylor]

Quote:No, no, no it says "In fact it even kinda makes me PROUD!" Hey Perry,I know that is what the last chorus line is supposed to say, but it just doesn't work for me. Kinda falls flat. Probably I am dense. lol Maybe I am still missing something that I would 'get' on repeated listens. I hope everyone else gets it and likes the way you've expressed it.Really like the rest of the song, though.Dean

[Casey H]

I really like this song, Perry... Nice! I'm not analyzing the lyrics in fine detail but the overall storyline works well. One question, pleading ignorant , is do people still talk about designer jeans? I'm and old guy who also just wears Levi's and doesn't think about that very much-- haven't since the 80's. But if the phrase is still current then ignore this comment.Now, as you know, country is a tough nut to crack and every detail of your song will get analyzed. Most of the time only top notch songs will get forwarded or considered by publishers. I don't know if you are new to submitting country songs or have been doing it for a while and what responses you have received (forwards, returns, critiques, etc). You might want to invest in a custom critique from taxi and one from a pro-critique service to ask you how your song stacks up as a country music pitch. I think 2 professional opinions is a good idea (but not too many- they will spin you in different directions). Of course, you could simply submit a few times and see what the reviewers say.I'm not country music savvy enough to differentiate between very good and great, with great being a requirement in this area. But this one sounds at least very good to me! Good luck! Casey

[pesmitty]

Thanks, Casey. You are the second person to bring up the use of the "designer jeans" term, so maybe it is a regional thing. In So Cal, designer jeans have made a HUGE comeback in the last few years and it is absurd--jeans costing between $200 and $500 per pair! My wife says they are called "premium denim"; but they are nothing more than the same old "designer jeans" (and all that foolishness) to the guy singing my song. Yeah, I am submitting the song so will get some critiques. Will let you know how it goes. Perry

[pesmitty]

Quote:Quote:No, no, no it says "In fact it even kinda makes me PROUD!" Hey Perry,I know that is what the last chorus line is supposed to say, but it just doesn't work for me. Kinda falls flat. Probably I am dense. lol Maybe I am still missing something that I would 'get' on repeated listens. I hope everyone else gets it and likes the way you've expressed it.Really like the rest of the song, though.DeanDean, I was not commenting on your post, but on the one after yours. I totally understand where you are coming from. If you look at the post after your first one, you will see that I was just pointing out the actual lyric. Your post makes total sense. As hard as it is to read sometimes, we need to keep the honesty coming here so people can improve, so I appreciate everyone's input and I am paying attention! Thanks,Perry