ALT POP FEMALE

We're putting YOU in the drivers seat!

Moderators: admin, mdc, TAXIstaff

Post Reply
twilsbach
Impressive
Impressive
Posts: 473
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 7:08 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Indianapolis
Contact:

ALT POP FEMALE

Post by twilsbach » Thu Jan 10, 2008 6:11 pm

This is the third time this Dispatch listing has come through. I started dabbling the first time, came up with the intro and the verse by the deadline. Xmas came and went, along with the second listing. The song still wasn't done by the second deadline, but it had enough forward momentum and held my interest enough to keep working it.Here is a rough sketch of the song.Get Real (lyrics below) First off, its me singing (and I'm a boy, not a girl) and there are a few too many ugly notes in there (almost too many to post for public ears ). BUT you shouldn't have a problem getting the vibe of the tune.Here's the listingThe Producer of a regional TV commercial (to be shown in the Southern California area) STILL needs an upbeat, fun, danceable ALTERNATIVE POP SONG with FEMALE VOCALS a la FEIST's "1234" (from her 2007 release "The Reminder"). Lyrical content doesn't have to be the same, but he wants that cool, bouncy, ultra-hip & indie vibe. The commercial shows a college-age girl getting on a city bus, listening to music via her iPod. She's a student, a musician, she dresses hip, she's pretty, she's cool - that's her overall vibe. Great performances are essential.Does it fit?Should I try and get it done by the deadline?Does anyone have a beautifully quirky, breathy & sweet female voice that would like to sing it?GET REAL[verse]Baby be quiet, just shut it all downYou've won the battle, lets fight the war nowsafe words have failed to, keep it together, oh[verse]These kind of mornings, I've had enough ofI'm working real hard, and I get fake loveLets turn it over, roll it just like a wheel[chorus]There's not enough,There's not enough,There's not enough ofThere's not enoughof our time,so get real.[verse]With a bang we've, woken the neighborsforgot how to whisper, top of our lungs nowhalf hearted stabs though, will never let it die[verse]This is a warning, delicate balanceif you make it real hard, then I'll give fake loveSo step real easy, dance like a ballerinerepeat [chorus][bridge]So many rules of engaging loversits not a battle, put down your kid glovesJust give me your hand lets take it together ohrepeat [chorus]x2

User avatar
hummingbird
Total Pro
Total Pro
Posts: 7189
Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2004 11:50 am
Location: Canada
Contact:

Re: ALT POP FEMALE

Post by hummingbird » Thu Jan 10, 2008 6:41 pm

very cool song. I think it fits. The one place I think could be improved is the bridge, which sounds the same as the verse, and I expected a change in the music there & a little vocal soaring to lift into the final chorus. great work otherwise. However, it's very low and makes it hard to get any expression into the chorus for a female voice. Might try taking it up a little.
"As we are creative beings, our lives become our works of art." (Julia Cameron)

Shy Singer-Songwriter Blog

Vikki Flawith Music Website

idosomedamage
Newbie
Newbie
Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Sep 19, 2007 6:54 am
Gender: Female
Location: Madison, WI
Contact:

Re: ALT POP FEMALE

Post by idosomedamage » Thu Jan 10, 2008 10:01 pm

thats got a really cool vibe to it. i think it'd be awesome if the line "so get real" had a little more punch.

User avatar
Casey H
King of the World
King of the World
Posts: 14668
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2004 3:22 pm
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Contact:

Re: ALT POP FEMALE

Post by Casey H » Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:01 am

Hi TimI think it's a good song but I listened a few times to a sample of FEIST's "1234" on amazon and the vibe here is not on target for THIS listing. "Get Real" has more of a rock vibe than the Feist song. So getting a female vocalist probably won't be worth it here. However, it's a song definitely worth continuing with for lots of other opportunities. I didn't listen closely to Fiest's lyrics- once I heard the difference in vibe, I didn't pay much more attention. But this listing called for "upbeat and fun" and your lyrics aren't upbeat- at least not all.HTHRegards, Casey

heinsite
Serious Musician
Serious Musician
Posts: 2641
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 8:20 am
Gender: Male
Location: San Jose, CA
Contact:

Re: ALT POP FEMALE

Post by heinsite » Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:22 pm

very nice tune--i was GOING to say that the bridge needs to be a more real one, but hummingbird i read just said that...so, change it up a bit more, and man, a very good tune. screw the female only thing, i'd make the change and submit it.thanks for the listen. great job.heinsite, not often on this board, but what the hell....out.

User avatar
hummingbird
Total Pro
Total Pro
Posts: 7189
Joined: Tue Jun 15, 2004 11:50 am
Location: Canada
Contact:

Re: ALT POP FEMALE

Post by hummingbird » Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:28 pm

No point in submitting this with male vocals for the listing specified. It will be returned.However, I think this could be pitched to a listing looking for songs for female alt rock singers. It's very good, IMO.
"As we are creative beings, our lives become our works of art." (Julia Cameron)

Shy Singer-Songwriter Blog

Vikki Flawith Music Website

ephlat66
Getting Busy
Getting Busy
Posts: 94
Joined: Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:47 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
Contact:

Re: ALT POP FEMALE

Post by ephlat66 » Mon Jan 14, 2008 7:39 pm

I agree with previous - not "emo-quirky" enough for ala Feist. (emo-quirky! I just invented a new genre! )This is a really good song, though. I'm hearing Collective Soul (which is a HUGE compliment btw)
Most people miss opportunity because it shows up wearing overalls and looks like work. - Henry Ford

twilsbach
Impressive
Impressive
Posts: 473
Joined: Thu Dec 07, 2006 7:08 pm
Gender: Male
Location: Indianapolis
Contact:

Re: ALT POP FEMALE

Post by twilsbach » Tue Jan 15, 2008 4:16 pm

thanks for the feedback y'all.Definately didn't expect a Collective Soul ala...going to listen with that in mind to see if I can hear it.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 41 guests