Re: Rock Staff Writers Wanted: Hat In The Ring

ciskokidd · Post by **ciskokidd** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 8:13 am

Hey Andre,Impressive! This is much much closer to the target. You did a great job of getting the sound a lot more current.Excellent work! The tune was already amazing so I think you got yourself well in line to get that forward. You, Aub, and Dan amaze me!!!Best of luck,Cisco

ponch · Post by **ponch** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 1:18 pm

Amazing music you have there Andre! definitely rocks. I don't have anything much to say , I simply enjoy it !Cheers,Ponch

andreh · Post by **andreh** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 1:37 pm

Quote:First of all, this is awesome work. I don't think I'm an expert in rock, but I listen to a lot of the greats. The chorus lyrics don't blow me away, OTOH, sometimes simple works. Musically it does work for me. I like what I hear. The best part of the whole song for me lyrically is the bridge, it's a little edgier.Vikki-Thanks for the feedback! I agree about the chorus lyrics; they're pretty bland, though I do think they flow well with the music (which in this genre is a better tradeoff, if there's going to be one, than compelling lyrics that don't groove).I thought about changing the lyrics, but it would've meant a lot of re-writing and re-tracking that I didn't have time for...at least the groundwork is done for next time around if the song doesn't get a forward!AndréPS - Have fun with Gold...and get Stylus for sure!

andreh · Post by **andreh** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 1:41 pm

Quote:Andre,Better. Much better. Overall sounds more cohesive. Still think the lyrics are the weakest link. Not quite preachy enough...LOL AubAub-Cool, thanks...I credit you and others here for helping me get the song to where it is now (wherever that is... ).How's this for a chorus re-write:So gimme a second chanceTo live my dreamsAnd win this raceFor a few of my favorite thingsYou are the wind beneath my wingsPreachy and original enough? André

andreh · Post by **andreh** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 1:52 pm

Quote:Andre,I am NOBODY, with no right to say anything about this, my first piece of your work to hear.with that said, THIS FRICKIN' ROCKS! Whoa. One and only comment. I have to agree...very 90's.but I would pay for this tune on itunes in a minute. I LOVED this. And if the lyrics of what I'm hearing lately as current and popular are any indication, this may be too DEEP for most of the buying public. Amazing work. TedTed-Thanks! You can send me a check. Yours isn't the only comment about the decade this song evokes , so I'll try to bring it more into this one before it's over.I'm hoping the screener (and the listing party) will feel its mix of "dumb" and colorful lyrics strike a marketable balance (or at least show my ability to write such lyrics). Guess we'll find out soon enough!André

andreh · Post by **andreh** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 1:56 pm

Quote:Hey Andre,Impressive! This is much much closer to the target. You did a great job of getting the sound a lot more current.Excellent work! The tune was already amazing so I think you got yourself well in line to get that forward. You, Aub, and Dan amaze me!!!Best of luck,CiscoCisco-Thanks! I felt particularly motivated by your previous comments (dang it, I'll show him... ). Not that the song couldn't use some more changes, but if it seems closer to the listing...great!Glad to see all your helpful comments on the forum lately.André

andreh · Post by **andreh** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:01 pm

Quote:Amazing music you have there Andre! definitely rocks. I don't have anything much to say , I simply enjoy it !Cheers,PonchPonch-Coming from such a rocking rocker as you, that means a lot!BTW, I'm loving what you and Aub are doing together...your guitar playing has breathed new life into his (and now both of your) sound. Awesome!André

aubreyz · Post by **aubreyz** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 3:56 pm

Quote:Quote:Andre,Better. Much better. Overall sounds more cohesive. Still think the lyrics are the weakest link. Not quite preachy enough...LOL AubAub-Cool, thanks...I credit you and others here for helping me get the song to where it is now (wherever that is... ).How's this for a chorus re-write:So gimme a second chanceTo live my dreamsAnd win this raceFor a few of my favorite thingsYou are the wind beneath my wingsPreachy and original enough? AndréThe only thing it's missing now.... is.....BABY!!!

sgs4u · Post by **sgs4u** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 3:59 pm

You need the word FLY in there, too.Quote:Quote:Aub-Cool, thanks...I credit you and others here for helping me get the song to where it is now (wherever that is... ).How's this for a chorus re-write:So gimme a second chanceTo live my dreamsAnd win this raceFor a few of my favorite thingsYou are the wind beneath my wingsPreachy and original enough? AndréThe only thing it's missing now.... is.....BABY!!!

andreh · Post by **andreh** » Wed Dec 19, 2007 7:43 am

Quote:The new arrangement is really solid. I think it is far better and most of my earlier comments. I like the brighter vocals in the first verse, but maybe try opening them up (more lower mids and doubling maybe) to really hit in the chorus. The mix doesn't seem to be big in the bass area but that may be the mp3.Nice work André. Good luck with this one.Good suggestions, Michael...maybe for a revisit down the road - but this one's already submitted! AFA the mix goes, I did clean out a lot of 280-330Hz from the bass to give the guitars better clarity, and the voxes are high-passed at ~120-150Hz; higher than I usually go, but the 8 layers of guitars were taking up a lot of space down there before I high-passed those as well - perhaps I could give them back a bit down there the fill things up a little more.I also highpassed the whole mix at ~25Hz with a relatively shallow 12dB/oct filter, so some of the 30-40Hz stuff got pushed back as well...but the result is a tighter-sounding, more radio-friendly mix. It seems to me there's still plenty of stuff going on in the 40-120Hz "bass" region! André