"Run to you" - Please critique

[brianjonesmusic]

Hey everybody, my name is Brian Jones and I have just recently joined up with taxi and started pitching my songs. I recently pitched 3 songs under one of the Contemporary Christian listings with a female vocalist. My first song I pitched is called "Run to you", and I would love for you all to listen and here your thoughts on the song. I am attaching lyrics and a link to the mp3. Bless you guys, Brian JonesMP3 -http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... esmusicRun to you (3:59)Music & Lyrics written by Brian Jones / Vocals sung by Amy Riccio© Brian Jones 2007Verse 1:When there's nothing left but scarsWhen everything's too hardAnd No one else can seeMy bruised and broken heart, You're thereVerse 2:When there's no where else to turnWhere I don't feel the burnOf the liars and the thievesWho made a fool of meYou're thereChorus:I will run to youI will run to youI will escape the pain of my troubled days and run to youVerse 3:In the moments I am lostAnd desperate to be freeCrying in the darkYou’re the only one I seeChorus:Bridge:I will move my feetAnd reach out both of my hands to youCause you’re the only oneThat can make me feel the way I doGuitar Solo:Chorus:Chorus repeat w/ [Hold me I need you / There is none like you] tag

[twilsbach]

Hey Brian Jones, Welcome to Taxi and the forums. There is lots of great advice and feedback to be found here.On to the song....Nice vocalist on this track. Not much to talk about production-wise, simple acoustic/vocal demo.You've got a good start here, the basic stucture of the song is working nicely, and the lyrics seem to be in line with the genre, although a bit generic. (admittedly though, I'm not really up on the trends of CC lyrically).The biggest suggestion I have is the need for some greater contrast between the verse and the chorus melodically. Specifically I'd kick the Chorus up a few notches in the intensity level.

[dcostello]

Brian,I listened to Run To You and thought overall that the song flowed very nicely. Working acoustically like you did gives a lot of room for great production. My only thoughts would be to put a little more open space into the song, say after the first verse wait a few measures before going into the second verse. I agree that there should be a bit more energy going into the bridge, or something a little more rhythmic to set up the solo... Nice jobDave Costellohttp://www.soundclick.com/davecostellohttp://4 ... /29546.htm

[vicky]

Hi....I'm pretty familiar with this genre....and you've definitely got a really good song shape here....I'd do more with the rhythm guitar part, since it's a sparse song in terms of instrumentation....breakdown...hits....something building more.... the melody part is cool....also the background vocal seems too far away..The melody at the top needs to be more special to get the listener hooked at the top....The toughest thing in this genre is to watch out for lyric cliches....I would rename the song....I think there are already a few "Run to You" titles that are played quite a bit....I wouldn't repeat that line twice in the chorus,,,,tweak it a little.....add syncopation to melody in the chorus....you have a really good song here,,,,Vicky

[jude3]

Check your PMThis has major potential.

[brianjonesmusic]

Thanks so much for all the critiques guys...and keep em' coming! I might post a few more songs and get your thoughts. Take care, Brian