Rock Staff Writer -- Take Two

[hummingbird]

I've been watching this lyric. It's packing a punch now. Good work, Aub.

[matto]

Chorus is WAY better Aub! It's a very strong hook now Now...the only problem I see now is that second verse is a bit redundant in a way since you already use the hate/love thing so strongly in the chorus.Either a complete re-write of that verse, or at least a change of words, may be needed there. Considering the importance of the chorus this was still a great move though...

[Pinkstar]

I couldn't find this post the other day, trying to catch up. Tthat's a posting I definetly want to submut my stuff to, it's my specialty. With that said...I am not sure what it is about your lyrics but I'm not quite connecting with it. There's something missing. I can't put my finger on it.I would like to hear the music and vocals with it. I just think the chorus could be stronger, again would like to hear the vocals and music.

[aubreyz]

Quote:Chorus is WAY better Aub! It's a very strong hook now Now...the only problem I see now is that second verse is a bit redundant in a way since you already use the hate/love thing so strongly in the chorus.Either a complete re-write of that verse, or at least a change of words, may be needed there. Considering the importance of the chorus this was still a great move though...So... I'm thinking... maybe it's not THAT redundant. Nobody will notice... Thanks for the input so far everyone!

[tedsingingfox]

Yeah, man.Aub, this was strong to begin with, but these new tweaks (ESPECIALLY the new title and chorus) give it so much more of a WALLOP. Right on.Great work. VERY eager to hear the music.

[ciskokidd]

Aub,This lyric is SO MUCH better than the original. I've been lurking on this thread watching your progress, but had to jump in and commend you on taking this up to the next level.Well done buddy!! This song rocks hardcore!Cheers,Cisco

[aubreyz]

Sorry I can't post the music to the previous song yet, but thanks again to everyone who has been chiming in. Hopefully vocals will be cut soon. Song number two of this little adventure is a little harder style, but not darker. Here's the latest lyric version.... Thanks again for all the input!!!I Believe in MeVs1I’ve had enough of looking back at the mirrorAnd seeing someone who I really don’t want to beIt seems the only way to see into the futureIs looking good for all the good that I cannot seeRight nowCh1And I believe in higher loveThat there’s something more than anything we can dream ofDon’t have to wait around for destinyNothing can stop it, I believe in meVs2I took my time but now I’m taking back the momentWith no regret for every second chance ticking awayDon’t have a minute left to spare for discontentmentWithin the hour there’s the power just to live todayRight NowCh2And I believe in higher loveThat there’s something more than anything we can dream ofDon’t have to wait around for destinyNothing can stop it, I believe in meBridgeThere’s plenty of plenty to go around nowThere’s too much up to try and tear anybody down nowThat I believeSoloCh3And I believe in higher loveThat there’s something more than anything we can dream ofDon’t have to wait around for destinyNothing can stop it, I believe in meI believe in meI believe in me

[stick]

Hey Aub... good work...Song 2: the hook "I believe in me" doesn't strike me as very "Rock". I have a hard time hearing Foo Fighters or Daughtry singing that lyric... not sure why... I guess it strikes me as a little "soft". More Kelly Clarkson. I could be completely off my rocker (HA HA!) though. On a nit-picky note, I'd probably keep the "I"s and the "we" in the chorus consistant.

[hummingbird]

Quote:Sorry I can't post the music to the previous song yet, but thanks again to everyone who has been chiming in. Hopefully vocals will be cut soon. Song number two of this little adventure is a little harder style, but not darker. Here's the latest lyric version.... Thanks again for all the input!!!I Believe in MeVs1I’ve had enough of looking back at the mirrorAnd seeing someone who I really don’t want to beIt seems the only way to see into the futureIs looking good for all the good that I cannot seeRight nowCh1And I believe in higher loveThat there’s something more than anything we can dream ofDon’t have to wait around for destinyNothing can stop it, I believe in meVs2I took my time but now I’m taking back the momentWith no regret for every second chance ticking awayDon’t have a minute left to spare for discontentmentWithin the hour there’s the power just to live todayRight NowCh2And I believe in higher loveThat there’s something more than anything we can dream ofDon’t have to wait around for destinyNothing can stop it, I believe in meBridgeThere’s plenty of plenty to go around nowThere’s too much up to try and tear anybody down nowThat I believeSoloCh3And I believe in higher loveThat there’s something more than anything we can dream ofDon’t have to wait around for destinyNothing can stop it, I believe in meI believe in meI believe in meThis literally sings off the page. Great work, Aub.

[gendron]

About Song #2:There's somethin' brewin' here. I absolutely agree with Vikki and stick These lyrics do sing for themselves (well done!), and the hook definitely appears more Pop than Rock... hm !? Extremely intrigued,Silence