Critique: Arrangement for "I Don't Even"

[joshuaarmstrong]

This track, called "I Don't Even," is supposed to be very poppy, light-hearted Adult Contemporary/AAA.In particular, I'm wondering whether I should just end the song at the 3:08 mark or let the song go on as-is with the existing instrumental breakdown from 3:08-3:27 (which gives it a bit more of an edge, but perhaps leaves the listener unsatisfied).Also, do you think this song is at all mainstream radio-friendly, or not quite on target or genre-specific enough? What artist, if any, would you compare this track to?Your thoughts, critiques and suggestions are much appreciated! Thanks in advance!***UPDATED (CORRECT) LINKS***Click here to STREAM the track:http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... eam=trueOr click here to DOWNLOAD the track (higher quality):http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... ownload=1I Don't EvenBy Joshua ArmstrongCopyright 2007This, this ... this could never work outThis, this ... this could never work outThings like this don't even happen in moviesDon't, don't plant your treeDon't, don't start missing meThings like this don't even happen in movies(Chorus)Cause I don't even know, knowI don't even know youSo how I'm gonna show, showHow I'm gonna show youHow you gonna keep me?How am I gonna keep you?And I don't even knowYou want to be my always and foreverBut could our forever even last a weekend?It's only a matter of timeBefore we get our feet back on the groundAnd we stop ... stop seeing double(Chorus x2)Cause I don't even know, knowI don't even know youSo how I'm gonna show, showHow I'm gonna show youHow you gonna keep me?How am I gonna keep you?Cause I don't even know, knowGet to know me before you try to steal my heart awayCause there's a price to pay for moving this fastCause I got so much to do, so much to seeI've got everything in front of meAnd I, don't think I'm gettin' through ... to youCause I don't even know, knowI don't even know youSo how I'm gonna show, showHow I'm gonna show youHow you gonna keep me?How am I gonna keep you?(Outro x2)Is the way we are today, the way we'll be tomorrow?Oh, oh...Oh, oh.Do the things we say affect who we really are?Oh, oh...Oh, oh.

[billg]

Hey Joshua, cool song! Really can't offer much advice about where it would be best to end the song, maybe someone else will chime in. I do think the drums sound a bit mechanical in the intro/verses. Can't put my finger on whether it's the sound, the part or a combo.

[ciskokidd]

Hey Joshua,I think your links are bad on this one. I get a totally different song to the lyrics you have posted.Cisco

[joshuaarmstrong]

Oops ... I updated the links. I think it should work now!--JoshuaQuote:Hey Joshua,I think your links are bad on this one. I get a totally different song to the lyrics you have posted.Cisco

[Casey H]

Hi JoshI really like this. I think it is well written and poppy, as you said... I would end it at around 3:08, the extra instrumental doesn't add any benefit. Three minutes into the song, the listener has long made all decisions about the track, with most of that being in first 60 seconds.You said you saw it as Adult Contemporary/AAA... I hear it (in an excellent way!) as young male pop. Genre lines are a big blur sometimes, but I could see this pitched to a youthful male pop artist... Really good stuff! Casey