Butterfly --Reviews...& What to Do?

[Mark Kaufman]

Hello, I'm new to the boards and this is my first musical post. Currently I'm compiling some songs to rewrite, record properly and to keep on hand to pitch, should the right opportunities come around. I wonder if there might be a place for this sort of song anywhere...TV/Film...don't really know. I'd love to get some feedback and really don't mind if it's harsh, kind or indifferent--let 'er rip. I'm interested in both critiques as well as what you would do with it. The recording itself is a poorly balanced mix...but the only one I currently have at the moment. Thanks for listening! -Lylehttp://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?b ... utterflyIf I could wish upon a starYou might come true todayBut when I wonder where you areI lose my wayYou’re just a picture in my dreamsHigh flying butterflyBut when I’m tearing at the seamsYou flutter byI really love you butterflyThough I never caught your eyeYou’re just a sparkle in my skyFly on, you fine and windswept wonderI’m only dreaming youBut if you’re dreaming tooA time may come when you will findI’m a good man for you butterflyAnd should you ever come to callI won’t be far awayAnd if you think you’re gonna fallI’ll find a wayI really love you butterflyThough I never caught your eyeYou’re just a sparkle in my skyFly on, you fine and windswept wonderI’m only dreaming youBut if you’re dreaming tooA time may come when you will findI’m a good man for you butterfly(Instrumental)You know I love you butterflyHope I can catch your eyeYou’re just a sparkle in my skyMy butterfly(©Mark Kaufman 2007)

[squidlips]

Hi Lyle (Mark)! When I tried to play your song, it came up as another song by another artist. Soundclick can sometimes be different that way. Is there another link?

[Mark Kaufman]

Weird! It just worked for me. I wonder if you were thrown off by the name Mark Kaufman? That's me. If it still doesn't work I guess you could go to SoundClick, find Mark Kaufman, and pick the song "Butterfly".Must be that danged Al Qaeda again, those filthy swine.

[billg]

Hey Mark, cool song! Not sure off the top of my head what genre or what kind of listing this would be good for BUT it seems that (if you're patient) sooner or later something pops up in the opps for everything under the sun. Good job, good song! -billg

[squidlips]

Quote:Weird! It just worked for me. I wonder if you were thrown off by the name Mark Kaufman? That's me. If it still doesn't work I guess you could go to SoundClick, find Mark Kaufman, and pick the song "Butterfly".Must be that danged Al Qaeda again, those filthy swine.if Bill can hear it, it's danged aol again. All day with this thing. It's a conspiracy. I'll try again when i get back from class.

[Mark Kaufman]

Quote:Hey Mark, cool song! Not sure off the top of my head what genre or what kind of listing this would be good for BUT it seems that (if you're patient) sooner or later something pops up in the opps for everything under the sun. Good job, good song! -billgThanks, Bill! I'm really glad you liked it....But I'm still waiting for my beating.

[squidlips]

Ha! It worked! I really like this song, Lyle. It's clever and fun. Love the structure. Maybe you could tweak the production a little? It could be my headphones or my speakers but it sounded a bit tinny and occasionally your voice dropped down in the mix. Probably jes me though.I like this.

[Mark Kaufman]

What I need to do is find the original reel...(yes, we recorded this on that old stuff called "tape") ...and mix it properly.All I have is this "on the fly" mix...there is a second lower harmony that you can't even hear, etc. But I'm more concerned about the song, so I'm glad you liked it!When am I going to get a good beating around here??

[deantaylor]

Mark,I like the song. No beating here. Just a few suggestions.1. I didn't really like this lyric: you fine and windswept wonder I don't know why. Just hit me as a little out of place.2. Consider adding a vocal bridgeDean

[Mark Kaufman]

Quote:Mark,I like the song. No beating here. Just a few suggestions.1. I didn't really like this lyric: you fine and windswept wonder I don't know why. Just hit me as a little out of place.2. Consider adding a vocal bridgeDeanThanks, Dean. If I added a bridge, would you eliminate the slide interlude? Or just make a longer song? It's close to four minutes..."Fine and windswept wonder"... I wondered about that during the writing, too. But I keep hearing that's the part a lot of people call their favorite...just heard that yesterday at another site. Mighty confusin'.But this is what I'm looking for. Thanks again, Dean!