'70s Arena Rock...

[aubreyz]

Thanks Dan,Stylewise, I think this might hit some of the modern a la's but I really doubt this song would be very placeable lyrically. It was intended just as a track on our CD, but I've been thinking about this listing and a couple of others that are coming up.I'll try to check out your new mix tomorrow.Aub

[trentoliphant]

Aub, great tune.I love the lyrics and as always your production rocks.What is the spoken word in the background at the end. I kept trying to make it out, but couldn't quite get it?

[aubreyz]

Quote:Aub, great tune.I love the lyrics and as always your production rocks.What is the spoken word in the background at the end. I kept trying to make it out, but couldn't quite get it?Thanks Trent!That was kind of the point of the speaking part... a subliminal thing It's Deuteronomy 15:11 -- King Jimmy style

[trentoliphant]

I had made out "cease out of the land, therefore I command thee" but couldn't make out anymore to look it up.I love the imagery and sentiment of this song. This song certainly seems to speak to a difficult subject in a way that is both in your face and non-controversial at the same time. It's probably the generic "Mister Man" that allows the listener to most likely think you are talking about someone else.Trent

[rcase]

Quote:Stylewise, I think this might hit some of the modern a la's but I really doubt this song would be very placeable lyrically. Aub, could you expand on that? Why would the lyrics in that one limit its placement potential? I've heard others recommend avoiding names and specific places, but I don't see either here..Rob

[aubreyz]

Quote:Quote:Stylewise, I think this might hit some of the modern a la's but I really doubt this song would be very placeable lyrically. Aub, could you expand on that? Why would the lyrics in that one limit its placement potential? I've heard others recommend avoiding names and specific places, but I don't see either here..RobWell, maybe because I know what it's about it seems too in your face and specific to a political subject. This is about the 5th lyric version -- the first one was kind of a rip your face off kind of thing I tried to generisize it enough to still make the point if you listen close enough, but not to be totally in your face for the drive by listener. IMHO it still may be a little "preachy" to work for many placements. I mean how many movie/tv scenes need a song about poverty and hunger Placeable, maybe. Widely placeable, probably not. More generic themes have better potential.But it's what i felt and wanted to say, which for this song was more important than placement potential. Aub

[trentoliphant]

I meant to say non-confrontational. I really do think you did a great job of saying something important in a way that is not really very "preachy". I think that it is more thought provoking than preachy. In some ways making the point less rip your face off could make it have more impact, because it doesn't necessarily cause peoples defenses to go up - which I think you have achieved that balance. If it took you 5 versions to do that - way to work the craft.You probably have a point about placeablity - I would think it would placeable but only narrowly. A lot of it may simply be about timing. But now that you have it done you are in a better position for when the timing is right. Would you think about pitching this to an artist at all?Trent

[jchitty]

Quote:Oh, and here are the lyrics....Well you know the way I feelAnd I’ve felt the way you feelI think the problem is I can’t take itIt’s too extremeWhat you’re doin to me babyOne touchI won’t healWell your nails to my skinYou dig deepDeeper than I can standYou’re laughingBut you’re killing me babyI know you knowWhat you’ve been doin to me latelyMy heartIs still realThis devil’s haunting meShe’s so hotI’m burning on bended kneeSlow down Slow downMy life is in your handsSlow downSlow downWhen will this ever endSlow down Slow downIt’s my life I’ll take a standRight now Right nowDon’t leave me here for deadWell at firstIt was all funI’d swearI’d swear you were the oneI may love you But you’re killing me babyAnd all the time well you’re making me crazyIt’s trueThat’s how I feel These lyrics are solid and very rock oriented. I wish I could hear the music. Each time I click 'play' on the TAXI hosting page.....a message comes up which says 'internet explorer can't display this page' (or something like that)....not complaining, but I don't have that problem with Broadjam. Anyway, good luck, Dan! From the lyrics alone, I can tell it's a good song. I submitted to this same listing.....Steve Davis (another TAXI member) and I wrote this together....he wrote the music, and I wrote the lyrics.Wreck Of Words:http://www.taximusic.com/hosting/home.php?userid=2572

[daniel481]

Thanks, I'm glad you like the lyrics! Sorry you haven't gotten to hear it though.I like your song and I wish you the best of luck! Hope we both get forwards and then, you, know, deals Dan