Is this AAA?

[diogenes]

Hey everyone, I haven't submitted anything for a while. I've been preparing new material based on feedback from previous critiques. I think this one is ready. Just wanted to know what you guys thought, and in particular to what sort of listing do you think this would be appropriate for. Heres the link http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... am=trueAnd here are the lyrics:How could I fail to findA temperate designTo use for the blueprintsOf my mindHow could I fail to seeWhat stood in front of meWas something like temptationDressed up like mysteryTrust you….yeah right. With all I ever wantedJust you…in time…it’s all I ever wantedYou’d think by now I’d knowLack of self-controlLeads to disasterEvery time Oh it never failsThose little lies I tellSo I don't have to changeand Maintain that all is wellChorus X 2Sometimes, I don’t know what to feelSometimes, I don’t know what’s realLove, Oh Love or so they sayCould save even meOr so I pray-solo-Trust you…with all I ever wantedJust you… with all I ever wanted

[geo]

Hey Dio, Geo here, I'll stay away from genre/listings as it's fairly obvious that's not my strong suit . The production on this track is really good. Live drummer? Nice guitar work and I like the feel changes after the choruses. The lyric pattern of the verses aren't consistant throughout which makes them a little hard to latch onto. The first stanza is sung:How could I fail to find,A temperate design,To use for the blueprints of my mind.Consider something like this for the second:How could I fail to see,What stood in front of me,Was temptation dressed like mystery.I think if you use a pattern similar to this it will set up your verses nicely. I like the choruses, good hook.... Geo

[diogenes]

Thanks for listening Geo, I'll keep that in my mind.

[stkeb]

Hi there -- I really like your song, and your voice. I like the production too, very easy to listen to. I think AAA or Adult Contemporary or even Rock. I like the melody a lot - one little suggestion on the end of the first line of each verse, have you thought about using a note going down instead of up?? While I was humming along, that's what felt natural and where I went each time. Anyway, hope this helps -- I think your song is great.Tricia

[tedsingingfox]

Hey, Dax.Again, I was mostly listening to the drum tracks (and Chet McCraken) trying to get a feel for the service you were telling us about. For the money, those drums are outrageous. A great way to hear what's available...As far as offering a critique, I'm not sure I have any business opening my mouth. While I feel like I have a good idea of how to put what I hear in my head (on my own tunes) onto tape, so to speak, my knowledge of production itself is comically miniscule. I totally have to depend on someone else to record/engineer my demos for me, so I don't feel all that comfortable telling someone else about their music.So, rather than fill out a TAXI critique form, I can tell you that I agree that the overall sound of this tune does a terrific job of getting the FEEL of the tune across. Me, personally (being a melody and harmony freak), I'd encourage you to work towards a little LARGER difference between the verses and the (very cool) choruses. But I can tell you in no uncertain terms that I don't have the ability/talent/knowledge to write something like that, and I think you are on track for a long, successful undertaking. And TAXI is a GREAT place to get started.No idea if this helps at all, but I wanted to send you my two cents-worth since you've been so kind to keep me posted and send me details....Keep up the good work and you'll be a TAXI success story in short order.Ted

[tedsingingfox]

Sorry, but I forgot to add this part. I have to agree with geo about the rhythm/cadence of the lyrics of the verses. Nice imagery, but they're a little jerky in their start-and-stop-and-start-again delivery. I've always been told (by big wigs like Pat Pattison, among others) to try to make the (melody of the) lyrics and their delivery sound like as close to normal speech patterns as possible. Although I'm not great at it, I DO understand what he means...Ted

[diogenes]

Thanks for listening Ted, I really appreciate it. I'm to burnt on this tune to wanna redo, but hear what you and Geo are saying. I'll keep it in mind on the next one. Thanks again.

[tedsingingfox]

Totally understand the burn out syndrome... My ears have more than once simply SHUT DOWN on me after too many listens to my own stuff, to the point where I can't hear it anymore.Bottom line, you've got a serious knack for putting emotional impact in your music. Keep working at it (like all of us) and keep believing in your goals, even if they change.You have the love, the obsession (no matter WHAT we choose to call it) and you have the support of many knowledgable and successful people here who are more than willing to share their hearts and their insight with you. You're already several steps ahead of the game just by being here on the boards.Peace,Ted

[paults]

It sounds like AAA to me, and would also fit in with "Singer Songwriter" listings.Nice job!