Geo does "Teen Pop" comments please

[geo]

OK, first mix, trying to get my vocals at a good level, I normally have them too low, and looking for general comments. New genre for me so all comments welcome. Thanks guys... GeoYoung TEEN POP HIT SONGS a la "High School Musical", "Hanna Montana," the Cheetah Girls, etc. are sought by the Sr. VP of Creative at a large Independent Publisher. Great hooks, memorable choruses, and age-appropriate lyrics/themes are all essential. He's seeking radio-ready hits -- not just songs with potential. http://www.taximusic.com/song.php?song_ ... ream=trueL O V ELyrics and music by George DanielsCopyright 2007Verse: 1Sometimes I’m out on Friday night,Sometimes, you know, I’m feeling alright.Sometimes there’s things I can’t explain,Sometimes I’m left all alone, standing out in the rain.Chorus:It must be love.It must be love, L.O.V.E. love.It must be love,It must be love, L.O.V.E. love.Verse: 2Sometimes you know what it’s all about,Sometimes, you know, you have your doubts. Sometimes you wait for a reply,Sometimes you run away, and you don’t know why.Chorus / SoloBreak:L, girl let’s get together, coming, O, over in my wheels,V, it’s very hard for me to, E, express how I feel, butL, I’ve learnt so many things, O, over all these years and byV, virtue of these lessons I’m the, E, envy of my peers.Verse: 3‘Cause love can be unkind, love can seems unreal,Sometimes it escapes you, sometimes it’s all you feel.Sometimes you’re left all alone, trying to figure out what you’ve done,Sometimes you chuck it all away, sometimes it must be love.Chorus x2

[Casey H]

Hi Geo As this song stands now it's VERY far off the mark genre-wise. It sounds more adult contemporary/retro pop-rock than teen pop. Sorry, it's not even close.If you had a totally new arrangement with a young female lead vocal (essential!), the song itself might have potential. It's a good song! But it would take MAJOR production, arrangement, and studio effort to make it fit this lead. Remember, the people on the other end DO NOT "envision" a different production/arrangement.Here is one of many pages on the internet where you can hear some Hanna Montana samples.http://music.msn.com/artist/?artist=476 ... =songsGeo- some personal advice, only meant to help not to chastise you at all. Had you sent this track to a publisher or film/TV A&R who was asking for teen-pop, they would be fairly annoyed. It would be obvious to them that you didn't do your homework by listening to samples of the "a la" artists listed. Sometimes they remember that next time you send something in and your subsequent submissions will get "lost". Doing your homework is essential. Now with TAXI, the worst thing that will happen is you will have wasted $5 and got back a return. If I were you I'd save the $5 and get more feedback here on these boards.But it is a good song, so don't get too discouraged. Casey

[geo]

Cool , anyone else?

[liamkelly]

L, I’ve learnt so many things, O, over all these years and byV, virtue of these lessons I’m the, E, envy of my peers.GeorgeI thought this track wasn't so far off the teen mark. Except for the lyrics above. 'I’ve learnt so many things over all these years' doesn't sound like something a teen would say. Well, not when I was a teen...... granted, a long time ago

[hummingbird]

Hi Geo, I had a good listen to this. I'm a big fan of musicals and I like High School Musical and High School Musical 2, the singing & the music is great in those films. So I'm listening to your song through that filter. For me the best part of this song is the chorus, it's that part that sounds the most like something that might be sung in High School Musical. Lyrically I think verse one is too vague but I really like verse 2, & I agree with Liam about the 'over all these years'. Stylistically, the demo doesn't really come across with that highschool musical/teen pop vibe. I think the vocals (while good) are 'too mature' -- I think the demo needs a teen singer. My suggestion is to get a custom critique before you redo anything, though. Find out what is working and what needs tweaking before you start fooling with it too much. IMOHummin'bird

[geo]

Thanks for the feedback guys!! I missed that line when I was cleaning up the lyrics, should have a chance to rerecord (due 16th) thanks for the catch Liam . I was thinking the low harmony line in the last chorus was off but since no-one mentioned....? Depending on time we might touch them up, trying to get one more together for this listing, I'm beat, gotta go, thanks again... Geo

[deantaylor]

Geo,It doesn't really sound like teen pop to me. First thing I would do is get a teen singer, your voice is too mature sounding. Then maybe we could tell better if it has a teen vibe. Also, some of the words don't sound teen to me, the way you use them .. like 'by virtue of these lessons' and 'envy of my peers'. Instead of 'wait for a reply' maybe something more like 'wait for what they say'But the song has potential I think. Maybe not as a teen song, but ... somewhere.Dean

[matto]

Hi there geo,I have to agree with Casey's spot on evaluation here. This song...from the first note of the intro...doesn't sound ANYTHING like current teen pop, it sounds like an old person trying to do teen pop . And it can't do that...it needs to sound like a teenager wrote it. I'm not just taking about production here, although that is far off target, but about the lyric (this is NOT how today's teens talk) and melody as well.Second...this is a REAL high bar listing looking for "radio ready hits". A chorus lyric and title of "It must be love, L.O.V.E love" is...to be brutally honest with you ...not gonna have a snowball's chance in hell to get forwarded to a listing like this. You need a really unique and fresh lyrical idea...remember, these kids...Miley, Vanessa, Zac etc are just about the HOTTEST artists out there right now and everybody and their grandma is trying to get cuts with them (and I'm talking about grandmas who have done their teen pop homework ) . Which means you are competing with the biggest name sogwriters out there...not to mention our Taxi boys Adam and Andy .So you need a KILLER chorus idea lyrically, something fresh that's gonna perk up a jaded publisher's ear...and at the same time sounds "totally teen". And then you build your song around that, making every word and note count.Without that...no amount of production (including hiring a teen sounding singer) is gonna make this song forwardable to this type of listing.I apologize for being so blunt... matto

[geo]

Thanks again for all comments and suggestions guys but I have to admit I found the tone of some of the comments to be a bit "odd". Is there this "Teen Pop subculture" out there that I offended? Let's make up . .... GeoBTW song was originally written 25 years ago to accompany my niece's dance troupe in their high school talent show

[Casey H]

Quote:Thanks again for all comments and suggestions guys but I have to admit I found the tone of some of the comments to be a bit "odd". Is there this "Teen Pop subculture" out there that I offended? Let's make up . .... GeoBTW song was originally written 25 years ago to accompany my niece's dance troupe in their high school talent show You didn't offend anyone (or at least not me). I just got the feeling you weren't taking the time to listen to current teen pop as suggested and see why your song isn't close to that style... In other words, you were intent on trying to make this fit for this listing with some minor changes such as cleaning up a few harmonies. And the fact that it was written 25 years ago is even more of a reason to understand why it's not a fit here.My post was intended to help you by advising you to listen to "a la" artists and really think hard as to whether or not what you have is even close. Did you listen to any Hanna Montana per the link I posted? Casey