Why I'm Alive - New song for review

[horacejesse]

Quote:and btw--- here's a link for my mp3 challenged friend HJ Hey, and I do appreciate it. I wasn't getting any action from the other link.Really good feel here. I first thought of the Rolling Stones. You already know the vocals could come up.The with the chorus and the iv chord I was reminded of the Beatles.I think your opening lines are very strong. They give me a good sense of what the song is about. This is great subject matter, because just about every guy with a few years under his belt who has not been a perfect angel can identify with it. You hit on a common experience here. I would be happy to have written it.

[mazz]

Hi Aub,Taking a break at the day gig and had a listen on my fidelity challenged destop computer speakers.Since I'm not a songwriter I won't go there but from a mix standpoint: The vocal is loud enough, it's fighting for space with the arpeggiated guitar part, particularly in the chorus (I'm talking about the clean tremelo part). There's a bit too much 1-3K in that part and it pulls focus from the vocal. My crappy speakers here feature the upper mids and so they accentuate these kinds of issues but a large grain of salt is always recommended. Good stuff!Mazz

[liamkelly]

AubJust got round to listening to this. It's pointless me commenting on production and mix issues - it's a busy track and I'm already so impressed that you got the mix to where it is that it would be stupid of me to nitpick. Especially as I know nothing. There has been some good advice from the posters above.I must say though (in case all the recording and mixing has made you forget ) that two things really struck me about the chorus:1) the lyrical deception of part of the chorus hook line:You are why I am alive.... won't (?) you save me from myselfis so cool. You expect the second part to go 'and I love you' or something but instead it defines the context of the song.2) The melodic hook for the chorus line is great. I suspect that this is a small part of why we're all telling you to tweak it.What a respectful homage to someone. She must be quite a woman.Liam

[aubreyz]

Quote:AubJust got round to listening to this. It's pointless me commenting on production and mix issues - it's a busy track and I'm already so impressed that you got the mix to where it is that it would be stupid of me to nitpick. Especially as I know nothing. There has been some good advice from the posters above.I must say though (in case all the recording and mixing has made you forget ) that two things really struck me about the chorus:1) the lyrical deception of part of the chorus hook line:You are why I am alive.... won't (?) you save me from myselfis so cool. You expect the second part to go 'and I love you' or something but instead it defines the context of the song.2) The melodic hook for the chorus line is great. I suspect that this is a small part of why we're all telling you to tweak it.What a respectful homage to someone. She must be quite a woman.Liam Thanks Liam... And Mazz, Billg, HJ--- and everyone else who has listened. I'm taking a break from the drudgery of a jingle production deadline and lamenting the fact that I've not had a slot to work on this song yet. When the ideas in my head finally hit hard drive, I think this one will kick up a few notches.And yes... she IS quite a woman --- and deserves much more from me than a song.Aub