"Green light" - need some other ears

[hummingbird]

I've been working on with this instrumental (as a sort of 'unique song')... and need some objective ears.... I think I need to mix it better, but I wonder if you think the composition works so far... I've listened to it so many times I can't tell anymore Green Lighthttp://www.taxi.com/vikkiflawith

[mazz]

Hi Vikki,Cool piece, I like the kind of jerky rhythmic feel.This type of music lives or dies by changing textures to create the form and having breakdowns and lo-fi EQ and so forth.I think it's pretty open-ended how to structure a piece like this so one idea of many would be: Create an intro with just one or two synth sounds and no drums. Start to bring in elements of the drums a little at a time and add other synth elements as you go along. Once everything is in for a little while, break it down to maybe just bass, hi-hat and that buzzy wide-panned synth and then have some cool drum fill bring everything back in.Another way to create a different texture is to run the entire mix through a steep filter that filters out everything but a narrow band of frequencies (a bandpass filter). You can bring it in on a downbeat so everything gets really small for a bit and then turn it off to bring it back in full force. This could be done to only certain elements of the mix as well, for instance filtering the synths as a group and leaving the drums alone or vice versa.Some of these ideas may be cliches at this point but I put them out there just to kick start some different avenues of thought.I think you'd enjoy Aphex Twin and The Orb for stuff kind of like this. The way they deal with electronic textures may inspire you.Keep up the good work!Mazz

[hummingbird]

Hey thanks for the listen and the pointers Mazz. I was trying to start with the "chorus" in this one, as in my last couple of critiques it seemed as though starting off slow wasn't working for certain listings. I tried to incorporate a couple of your suggestions, and added some ideas of my own and posted a remix. Thanks again for your help!!

[hummingbird]

Thanks for that feedback, songwriter. I worked on the drum tracks to variety the rhythm and fatten them up a bit. I think they are better now.

[davewalton]

Quote:I was trying to start with the "chorus" in this one, as in my last couple of critiques it seemed as though starting off slow wasn't working for certain listings. That was Matto's comment for the first version of my "Armenian" electronica track. There's definitely something to be said about "getting to it" in one way or another right at the beginning. That's one thing I've written on a little piece of paper that's now in my view constantly... "Get To It Quickly".

[mazz]

I agree with getting to it quickly. With these types of things targeted to Film/TV, I try to think of them as miniatures or short stories, you can still put a cool intro, it's just going to be a lot shorter than the "album" version. Of course, in the end it's up to the composer's taste and their interpretation of the listing and/or their knowledge or the client's tastes.I've been writing a bunch of 1 minute cuts lately and this is up front in my mind.I'll listen to the updated version some time this weekend, this is my 3 long day-gig work week.Mazz