Re: Looking for Current Sound - Not Worth My Time

hummingbird · Post by **hummingbird** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 9:53 pm

Hi - there's lots to like here. It could be just me, but it feels as though the rhythm is sort of clashing with the vocals sometimes in the verse. Perhaps fewer words and more lyrical phrasing so that the vocals float over the instruments. I like it when it gets to the chorus. It reminds me a bit of Elton John in its flavour. I'd suggest taking that synth line and have other instruments play it here and there as the sweetness of it starts to feel less attractive after a time. I'm no expert, but for more modern you might need a good drum track & a little more bass. Hope that helps Hummin'bird

jimmys · Post by **jimmys** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 2:50 am

Hay Songwriter Though the song was great. Sounds alot like a song form the Kinks which I feel had some vary good music. Oops ....Guess I telling my age. Keep it up....if it was out on CD for sale I would buy it.Jimmy

johnnydean1 · Post by **johnnydean1** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 6:48 am

I Like it.The sound is dated and short of spending $$$$ I can't tell you how to improve it.I don't hear Elton John or The Kinks.I do hear Hall & Oats and Randy Eidleman.

johnnydean1 · Post by **johnnydean1** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:24 am

Quote:Elton John, Kinks, Hall & Oates... Ouch That is the sort of feedback I need though. I think I'll tuck this one on the shelf for now. Perhaps good melodic hooks, but not the required skills or production abilities. It's good to test outside of the envelope once in a while to figure out my comfort zone.NO NO NO NO NO man you've missed the point!This is good,it's melodic it's strong it's just your sounds that are a bit dated.Get to work.NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jeffe · Post by **jeffe** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:21 pm

How about "Johnny hates jazz" Johnny, I mean Songwriter Pretty much the same really. Change the instrumentation. Make it wider too. Add some vocal overlays and harmonies here and there and it should sound great.

johnnydean1 · Post by **johnnydean1** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 7:37 pm

Quote:How about "Johnny hates jazz" Johnny, I mean Songwriter Pretty much the same really. Change the instrumentation. Make it wider too. Add some vocal overlays and harmonies here and there and it should sound great. I have got my Johnny Hates Jazz and my Fine Young "Cannonballs" mixed up at the moment jaffa so I can't comment.I can only repeat,the song is their,so is the voice,(harmonies would be great!) just a matter now of updating the sounds.I would rather be in Songwriters position of having the musical and vocal ability than having a roomfull of gear and turning out the same old mechanised,robotic,contrived crap that is vogue at the moment.But that is changing!Get to work Song!!!!!!

mixopenta · Post by **mixopenta** » Wed Jun 06, 2007 8:31 pm

Quote:I would rather be in Songwriters position of having the musical and vocal ability than having a roomfull of gear and turning out the same old mechanised,robotic,contrived crap that is vogue at the moment.But that is changing!Get to work Song!!!!!!Couldn't agree more!I really like both your songwriting skills and your voice (I wish I had either one of them), and this song is no exception.I'm no R&B/Urban pop expert, but the common denominator in terms of production, seems to be that they have sparse but very efficient instrumentation. IMHO what you need to concentrate on, is getting the right groove. And, man that is tough stuff, but if you get it right, it's gonna pay. I'd suggest going to work by first keeping the vocals and a metronome. Then start browsing tons and tons of drums and percussion loops, and stretch, pitch, cut, add, remove, mix, and destroy them until you can't keep your feet still. This is (really) an easier method, and will render you better results faster as opposed to programming, which I find is almost impossible. Then move on to create a good, groovin' bass line (or you can do it the other way around). These ingredients should really be all you need, to get you a track that will catch the attention of the listener...If you manage to get these three things grooving (drums/bass/vocals), you might consider keeping the sine wave synth only, and you'd have a killer track This song does not necessarily need to go in the Urban/R&B direction, - It could also fit very well as a rock track...Having the same song in different genres is only beneficial, as your song inventory will validate for a greater variety of listing options

jeffe · Post by **jeffe** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 1:04 am

Quote:Quote:How about "Johnny hates jazz" Johnny, I mean Songwriter Pretty much the same really. Change the instrumentation. Make it wider too. Add some vocal overlays and harmonies here and there and it should sound great. I have got my Johnny Hates Jazz and my Fine Young "Cannonballs" mixed up at the moment jaffa so I can't comment.I can only repeat,the song is their,so is the voice,(harmonies would be great!) just a matter now of updating the sounds.I would rather be in Songwriters position of having the musical and vocal ability than having a roomfull of gear and turning out the same old mechanised,robotic,contrived crap that is vogue at the moment.But that is changing!Get to work Song!!!!!!Those kids will keep on spending their pocket money on whatever is being advertised on TV. The song already sounds a lot better to me, though I'm sure there will be some further technical comments coming your way.

oneeyewillie · Post by **oneeyewillie** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 5:32 am

Damn thats nice stuff...Wish I had yer voice...I did one of those brit/pop songs fer a listing...I coulda used a voice like that...My accent really gets in the way sometimes...It doesn't sound R/B tae me, but then I live on another planet.I like it alot.

allends · Post by **allends** » Thu Jun 07, 2007 3:38 pm

Quote:You're Not Worth My TimeHey songwriter,I've spent so much time listening to all your stuff that I can't be objective anymore, buddy! I've grown accustomed to your face sound... The rhythm & melody mesh together well with the lyric - I remember that Jason Blume called that prosody (that was a new term for me). Your vocals are really pushing the passion of the message! Interesting observation: you have a certain natural vulnerable tone in your voice, but here you're belting out a tune about standing up for yourself. This dichotomy really draws me in!I here you say that you've put in a lot of time on this piece. It would be great if you had enough energy to consider a major change on my wish-list. I find myself wanting to hear a more aggressive instrument and riff in the intro. I'd like to hear this repeated elsewhere also. The synth lead that you are using now, if used only in the verse sections, would carry a very powerful subliminal soft under-belly message if it were contrasted against a different edgier toned riff used only in the intro, choruses, and outro. I know that this would be a major re-write so I may be over the top with this suggestion. Here's an honest reaction that I don't know what to make of: The dissonant chord at 2:51 startled me then I realized you were using elsewhere & I hadn't noticed.I like the acoustic guitar work starting at 2:24. I wonder if it would be more effective to have it appear elsewhere or perhaps not include it at all (but that would be a shame - it sounds great).It sounds like you punched in a vocal at 0:45. That's pretty early in the song and I thought it was obvious but not in the same musical way you blend this in later. I know the phasing is tough at this particular point so don't know if there's anything better that you can do there.In my opinion, this is your strongest vocal performance yet! Keep up the good work, we'll be listening!-Allen