Never Going Back to the Gravity

hummingbird · Post by **hummingbird** » Sat Nov 25, 2006 12:51 pm

"Never Going Back to the Gravity"Lyrics: Dean Taylor; Music: Vikki FlawithTough (but not harsh) critics needed to give feedback on this collab. We are shooting for film/TV. What works about the song? What are the problems? How good is the songwriting, the vox? Production issues to correct? Lyrics on the song page.EDIT - REVISION AT http://www.vikkiflawith.com/song/6thanks in advance for your valuable comments!Hummin'bird

michael11 · Post by **michael11** » Sat Nov 25, 2006 2:23 pm

Quote:"Never Going Back to the Gravity"Lyrics: Dean Taylor; Music: Vikki FlawithTough (but not harsh) critics needed to give feedback on this collab. We are shooting for film/TV. What works about the song? What are the problems? How good is the songwriting, the vox? Production issues to correct? Lyrics on the song page.http://www.vikkiflawith.com/song/3thanks in advance for your valuable comments!Hummin'bird Undoubtedly your best yet Vikki!! Great vocal,great production and some fascinating melodic and chord moves and as for the lyric well!!!!Brilliant. Mick.

andreh · Post by **andreh** » Sun Nov 26, 2006 1:19 pm

Vikki-This song is oozing style! It sets a very unique tone that will not be right for many placements, but the ones that need it will want it badly! I see a lot of listings for Frou Frou and Zero seven, which this has elements of (though its unique chordal and melodic structures take it far to the left of pop); I'd be trying for those if your goal is to place this.The production is very creative and effective, and your voice sounds fantastic on this. A few suggestions:- You could use a touch of autotune and some rhythm correction (or a few retakes) in some spots. Especially in this "spacey" style, you risk sounding dated (think Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit") if your vox tracks aren't spot-on or even a little robotic on occasion.- The song's feel is set by the striking chord changes and melodies, but I think you could pull it back a notch and still achieve the same effect while being a little bit more accessible; on more than one occasion I had trouble following the song - and I'm a big Allen Holdsworth fan.- The song is pretty long, and especially because of its ethereal, flowing nature it feels like it should be over a minute or so sooner. This might not be as problematic if its chords and melodies were a little more "hooky."Awesome job, though...this song is really cool.Andre

aubreyz · Post by **aubreyz** » Sun Nov 26, 2006 1:36 pm

Vicki,I agree with Andre. Very cool. If you ever hear me late at night when my thick Texas accent tends to kick in, it will seem odd that I would mention this, but a couple of things that bothered me, mostly in the first verse were the vowel diphthongs - banging and crystal for instance. More static, open vowels would fit the style a little better.Very interesting piece though. I enjoyed it!Aub

hummingbird · Post by **hummingbird** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 8:35 am

Hey, thanks very much for your time and feedback. I really appreciate it. I know the song needs work and it helps to know what is working & what needs reworking.cheersHummin'bird

sgs4u · Post by **sgs4u** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 3:05 pm

hello Ms Hummingbird,Beautiful sounding piece of music. Great singing, great music/changes. If you are interested in my two bits, here it is.The bass octave pattern and sound, are distracting me. The constant motion of the synth bass sound coupled with it's choice of notes, detract from the ethereal qualities of the overall sound. The hypnotic effect loses a little, to me. sgs4u

hummingbird · Post by **hummingbird** » Mon Nov 27, 2006 8:48 pm

Hey sgs4u, you're right, it seems that the bass is the big problem in this - something which, as a singer, I'm still getting used to hearing. Thanks for your time & your comments!cheersHummin'bird

matto · Post by **matto** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 7:09 am

Hi Vikki,I agree with Andre by and large. If you're shooting for the film/tv market, it's best not to get too far away from potential "a la" artists, otherwise chances of getting it used become slim.In this case, this would mean (IMHO) fewer "experimental" chord changes ("pop" music can really only sustain one or two of those in a song), hookier melodies which will help the ear digest those changes better...also I notice that when you have "normal" chord changes, the often don't occur in a "logical" harmonic rhythm...in other words not in the places you would expect in pop music. As a result of all of the above you're not only drastically lessening your chances of having the song used, but you also constantly torpedo the song's "tranquil", spacey mood...making it a rather unsettling listen which seems to me to contradict the lyrics.Speaking of which, there seems to be a strange break in language occuring in a few places. The song in general uses rather spacey, moody and image laden language, so the sudden use of really colloquial phrases like "come on let's go" and "you won't care, you'll still blast off" seems really strange to me...Production wise, again taking a page from the book of a la artists in this genre would help the song. The bass is a problem, as it kills the spacey mood with it's incessant 8th note rhythm. The song really needs more rhythmic sophistication, like those little rhythmic licks and bits with synced delays that are so popular in this style. Dropping the bass will open the production up to those kinds of possibilities. Then lighten up on the pads a bit too to create more space and variety.Overall the vocal is great, sounds really beautiful and stylistically appropriate. Overall I really like this song Vikki! The lyrics conveys the emotions of "tranquil and peaceful", but also "strange and exotic". As it stands now, the tranquil elements are provided by the production and soothing vocal, the "exotic" elements by the strange melodic turns and abrupt chord changes. I think the song would have wider appeal and be more viable commercially if that balance were flipped around...in other words having the calming and peaceful part represented by more accessible melodies and harmonies, and the strange and exotic by more varied and sophisticated production.IF more commercial appeal is your goal...matto

hummingbird · Post by **hummingbird** » Tue Nov 28, 2006 7:45 am

Wow, thanks so much for taking the time to listen and comment, Matt. I'm going to rework the production of the song with all these ideas in mind. I'm really pleased that you like the vocal - that means a lot to me!cheersVikki

hummingbird · Post by **hummingbird** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 12:16 am

Hi folks - I've been working on this piece. I wonder if you'd have the time to give it another listen and see if the tracks have improved enough. Your feedback is very welcome http://www.vikkiflawith.com/song/6

Never Going Back to the Gravity

Never Going Back to the Gravity

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