Rejection Conjecture: "Black Hole"

[andreh]

Hi all-I got a return for this No Critique listing...anyone care to share some feedback to help me make it better for next time? Quote:**************TAXI Dispatch**************A Major Producer/Songwriter who has worked with artists such as David Bowie, Ricky Martin, Brandy, Robert Plant, Meredith Brooks, and Bad Company [plus many, many more] is looking to hire a POP/R&B PRODUCER/WRITER/PROGRAMMER to work with him on numerous upcoming projects. He's swamped - his projects are piling up and he can't get to all of them, even though he already has a full-time staff. Hence, he needs to hire more talented producers ASAP. He's specifically looking for someone who can produce great & very current sounding Pop/R&B tracks/songs along the lines of Beyonce, the Pussycat Dolls, Fergie, Justin Timberlake, etc. He'd love to find the next Timbaland or Scott Storch. He needs someone that has their own home studio (necessary) and prefers that you work on ProTools (not as necessary). He wants to hear your complete songs with vocals -- do not submit just instrumental tracks. Master quality material is requested -- you must show that you can "produce the goods." Please submit one to three songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS ONLY - NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI. For ground submissions, please enclose a S.A.S.E. if you would like a response. As always, we will notify everyone via e-mail, whether your submissions have been Forwarded or Returned. Submissions must be received no later than 4:00 pm, Pacific Standard Time (California time), Monday, April 2, 2007. TAXI #D070402POSong link:http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... sq=1Thanks much,Andre

[sgs4u]

Quote:Hi all-I got a return for this No Critique listing...anyone care to share some feedback to help me make it better for next time? Quote:**************TAXI Dispatch**************blah, blah,blah produce great & very current sounding Pop/R&B tracks/songs along the lines of Beyonce, the Pussycat Dolls, Fergie, Justin Timberlake, etc. He'd love to find the next Timbaland or Scott Storch. Song link:http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... sq=1Thanks much,AndreYour selection seems perfectly in the ball park to me, perhaps the screener's asleep at the wheel. My 5 year old walked in the room and said, Dad, who's that, it's cool. I showed him your picture. He said, "That guy sings like that?" I think it's fabulous, I don't know why anyone asking for the artists' sounds they asked for in the listing would hear your submission as "off the mark." after listening a couple more times here are my thoughts about things you could tweak a little:You might have disturbed a screener with a title/lyric like BLACK HOLE, suck it up!(just a guess) vocals sound a little pretty, not dirty enough(but why would the screener pay attention to that?) maybe try octaves apart instead of harmonies OTOH, maybe the guy was looking for Monstrously BIG harmony, or really small ones... who knowsthe bass sound in the chorus is quite loud, too dominating for this style IMHOthe high end in the choruses(cymbals are so compressed it's hard to pick out the actual hits) it would certainly be nice to compare your's to Martin's that got forwarded.better luck next time, you're awesomesteve

[mazz]

Andre,I'm not ultra familiar with the genre that you are targeting, I'm a bit familiar with the Black Eyed Peas and Fergie (they played at the last company party at my day gig). I think that your production is right on. I do question the lyrical content for a mainstream audience. I understand the play on words but it might not have been palatable to the producer in question. The track is great with a bit of a rock edge mixed with that bass sound that I hear coming out of cars all over my neighborhood. Maybe try different words over the track????Great sound. John

[andreh]

Hey Guys-Thanks for the listen & your feedback. There seems to be a consensus that the song's lyrics may have harmed its chances of getting forwarded, though I wouldn't have expected this since the listing was about showcasing production skills, not lyrical content. Not to mention Fergie "my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps" was listed as a reference artist. But, there's no denying the lyrics were riskée...maybe a "safer" song would've been a better way to get a foot in the door.Your comments about the song's production are valuable as well - I'll take them into consideration while I'm tweaking it.Thanks much,André

[horacejesse]

I don't know much about the genre but find your song interesting. I love raunch, but I don't get there much in my songs because I have not known if there is a market.I have a Black Hole song too, only mine is astronomical rather than anatomical.

[andreh]

Quote:I don't know much about the genre but find your song interesting. I love raunch, but I don't get there much in my songs because I have not known if there is a market.Thanks, I think. I don't write raunch unless the job calls for it, but there's some pretty innuendo-laden music on the radio these days from the artists mentioned in the listing.Quote:I have a Black Hole song too, only mine is astronomical rather than anatomical.LOL. Would you believe me if I said that the "black hole" in this song was actually meant as an analogy for a girl's romantic appeal? I didn't think so. Andre

[sgs4u]

Quote: Would you believe me if I said that the "black hole" in this song was actually meant as an analogy for a girl's romantic appeal? AndreAndré,you're right, I didn't. I once bought a Moody Blues Cd because I wanted to learn more about the "blues." My father (a french guy) was once having dinner with his new girlfriend's family. He asked politely, (in broken english, & trying to sound cool) pass the f***ing butter, please. I have also have submitted inappropriate pieces of music quite far off the mark(including the calliope request), more times than I care to admit to.Your little oversight is kinda cute, and human. "My Humps" is riské, and I would have thought including it clearly defines the category. I guess the lister didn't really pay very close attention to what they might be asking for. Maybe the screener was a little chicken about forwarding anything risky.If the person actually looking for songs was 50c, or however he spells his name, I think your song would enthusiastically have been forwarded, and likely cut... because your lyric is perfect!your production skills and musicsmoke No denying that!! On another note, has anyone seen Alanis Morissette's parody of "My Humps."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W91sqAs-_-git's refreshingly weirdsteve

[jeffe]

Quote:Quote: Would you believe me if I said that the "black hole" in this song was actually meant as an analogy for a girl's romantic appeal? AndreAndré,you're right, I didn't. I once bought a Moody Blues Cd because I wanted to learn more about the "blues." My father (a french guy) was once having dinner with his new girlfriend's family. He asked politely, (in broken english, & trying to sound cool) pass the f***ing butter, please. I have also have submitted inappropriate pieces of music quite far off the mark(including the calliope request), more times than I care to admit to.Your little oversight is kinda cute, and human. "My Humps" is riské, and I would have thought including it clearly defines the category. I guess the lister didn't really pay very close attention to what they might be asking for. Maybe the screener was a little chicken about forwarding anything risky.If the person actually looking for songs was 50c, or however he spells his name, I think your song would enthusiastically have been forwarded, and likely cut... because your lyric is perfect!your production skills and musicsmoke No denying that!! On another note, has anyone seen Alanis Morissette's parody of "My Humps."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W91sqAs-_-git's refreshingly weirdsteveThat link was quite funny Steve. My Ex-wife had a strong resemblance to Alanis!Another thing that made me laugh. My great uncle was Swiss. He came over to the UK a long time ago and my uncles thought they'd teach him some table etiquette. He asked the same question to my great grandmother at the table (Thinking he was being polite). Well. Hell open it's doors that afternoon. She was very prim and proper.

[andreh]

Quote:I once bought a Moody Blues Cd because I wanted to learn more about the "blues." My father (a french guy) was once having dinner with his new girlfriend's family. He asked politely, (in broken english, & trying to sound cool) pass the f***ing butter, please. steveQuote:Another thing that made me laugh. My great uncle was Swiss. He came over to the UK a long time ago and my uncles thought they'd teach him some table etiquette. He asked the same question to my great grandmother at the table (Thinking he was being polite). Well. Hell open it's doors that afternoon. She was very prim and proper.My mom tells a story about my dad, who'd just come to America from Germany and was trying to pick up the English language as quickly as possible...mostly from his ongoing experience in the restaurant biz here.At a small dinner engagement at their house one day, one of the guests inquired what was on the agenda now that the meal had concluded. My dad innocently responded, "How about we play hump the hostess?" Everyone got a good laugh out of it, except my mom...:)Andre

[jeffe]

Quote:Quote:I once bought a Moody Blues Cd because I wanted to learn more about the "blues." My father (a french guy) was once having dinner with his new girlfriend's family. He asked politely, (in broken english, & trying to sound cool) pass the f***ing butter, please. steveQuote:Another thing that made me laugh. My great uncle was Swiss. He came over to the UK a long time ago and my uncles thought they'd teach him some table etiquette. He asked the same question to my great grandmother at the table (Thinking he was being polite). Well. Hell open it's doors that afternoon. She was very prim and proper.My mom tells a story about my dad, who'd just come to America from Germany and was trying to pick up the English language as quickly as possible...mostly from his ongoing experience in the restaurant biz here.At a small dinner engagement at their house one day, one of the guests inquired what was on the agenda now that the meal had concluded. My dad innocently responded, "How about we play hump the hostess?" Everyone got a good laugh out of it, except my mom...:)Andre It goes both ways between the U.S. and Germany. Remember thse immortal words from the US president:"Ich bin ein berliner"