Re: Sun and Rain Makes a Rainbow

mhoffman · Post by **mhoffman** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 4:35 pm

Songwriter,This tune reminds me of music played in the movie, "Pump up the Volume". It would have been an appropriate one too. It's a well crafted/balanced song. I like your lyrics that a rainbow needs both sun (ups) and rain (downs). Ain't life interesting that way? It's almost like we NEED the downs to appreciate the ups. Very nice, sweet. Matthew

mhoffman · Post by **mhoffman** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 4:55 am

Unfortunately, I'm not qualified to respond to your question regarding the Taxi qualification process. I'm new to Taxi and am learning the ropes myself. I've not listened to mainstream music for such a long time that I really don't know what is "marketable" to the mainstream population. I listen to everything. Everything from Jimmy Rogers to John Williams to Steve Vai to every-conceivable-genre-on-earth. As a listener, I've broken out of the mainstream feeding pen and tend to seek out "new life and new civilizations". So, regarding your song's sound and it's appropriateness for today's market: I think the market has changed dramatically and now provides a stage for more variety than the standard top 40 represent, however, if the top 40 is what you're aiming for, you may consider incorporating a hiphop beat track either through the entire thing or added at certain parts. You may also consider using a mild distorted rhythme guitar in the background (ala Relient K)Although, I like the song as-is. The production is very nice and the song writing is very nice too. I hope that was helpful! Matthew

davewalton · Post by **davewalton** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 5:15 am

Quote:This is a tune based on the idea that even strong relationships have ups and downs. It is a more mellow tune, and as I listen to it I really like it but wonder if it has a modern enough feel to it? Any thoughts on that subject or other comments are appreciated.Hey Songwriter,I only do instrumentals and so I don't have any real feel for lyrics, what's good what's not. In terms of the overall track I like it and it seems to have good production, good sound, etc.In terms of "modern" what immediately popped into my mind is that is *could* be a track something along the lines of a band like Green Day, exept that if Green Day was doing this, the chorus (Look into my eyes) would be balls to the wall. Well, maybe not that drastic but if you've ever listened to some of their stuff, the distinction between the verse and chorus is HUGE and they use acoustic and raw electric instruments respectively to partially accomplish that.I have limited experience with this and I only really know about Green Day because of my daughter, but it's what popped into my head when I listened to this. Their singer seems to sing in roughly the same range and tonal quality as you and they have "nice" stuff like they way your track is. The difference is that they also incorporate a more raw sound into their songs and I think it's the blending and contrast of those two that makes them modern and interesting to a lot of people.Again, a very limited experience on my part with this so take it with the smallest grain of salt. Dave

davewalton · Post by **davewalton** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 2:17 am

Quote:Dave, your idea is a good one. I don't think I can pull off Green Day's sound though. I've tried working with power guitars but it isn't convincing. And my voice definitely can't pull off the sound their lead vocalist has. It's a good idea though. I'll do some experimenting and see what I can come up with.I wasn't thinking so much specifically about copying their sound, I was just thinking in general terms of their production and only under the question that was posed of making it more modern. I like the song as is but it's good to sometimes think or ask about producing songs in different ways. The "modern" question aside, the one thing that's easy to do for any song is to just go down the items on a blank Taxi critique sheet and make sure your track covers the basics. Yours doesn't have this problem but as an example, knowing that there's a checkbox that says "Intro too long" there shouldn't be any reason for me submit a track with a long intro. If I always make sure to cover the "checkbox basics", I can focus on other things (and I always have plenty of things that need focusing). Dave

allends · Post by **allends** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 3:10 am

Hello Songwriter,I'm new here so my observations might be ful of holes, but I just want to start off by telling you how much I enjoy the expressiveness of your voice! You have a natural way of conveying a sense of urgency and passion in what you're communicating! Now, that's something that can't be taught! You’re so good, I hate you! LOL (doesn’t it irk you when people say that?)Where Dave mentions Green Day, I would insert Dr. John, or even U-2. I can hear vibes like Bono in your voice sometimes and The Edge in the groove of your clean electric guitar track. Just some observations.Myself being a novice, I have only 2 suggestions purely from a listener's point of view. I was buying into your aesthetics all the way up to 3:32 when your backing vocals seemed too pronounced in the mix, giving me flash backs of doo-wap music that I’m personally not comfortable with. So to my ears, bringing those backing vocals down would avoid sending my imagination off on a tangent. I'm not sure if that's an issue with anyone else. My second suggestion would be to selectively tame some pitch issues in your main vocal. An example would be at 3:27 where the word Rainbow felt sharp to me. I use V-Vocal even on lead guitar licks. If you were to only tweak, say, half a dozen such moments throughout your performance I believe you could keep your audiences with you while preserving that natural drift and grit that makes your vocals so appealing.Thanks for this one. I like it!-Allen

davewalton · Post by **davewalton** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 4:44 am

Quote:I PM'd you on one of your recent posts.That never came through for some reason, I just checked my PM's again. Was it a good one?

matto · Post by **matto** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 4:58 am

Songwriter,I'm gonna be blunt with you...the only market where a song with this lyrical concept and lyric would have a good chance of success is Children's Music. It's just too simplistic and "obvious" of a lyric, both in concept and execution, to work in today's pop/rock/aaa etc market (which includes tv/film as well).I you tweaked this lyric with the children's market in mind I think you'd have something...Musically this is pretty good and sounds modern enough along the lines of, say, Daniel Powter...I agree that the chorus could provide more of a lift; the melody could be "hookier" there and towards the end of the chorus gets too drawn out with a bunch of unnecessary repetitions of "sun and rain", and the contrast could be better, which you could accomplish by filling it the production there.There's other little weaknesses like e.g. a too repetitive verse melody...and where it finally does change the music contradicts the lyric on "ups and downs"...but the main points are a lyric/concept with poor marketability for the intended market, and a so so melody (which you still almost "sell" thanks to your great voice ).My advice to you after hearing this and the previous songs is 1- Find a good lyricist to collaborate with and 2- Work harder on refining and polishing your melodies.HTHmatto

mhoffman · Post by **mhoffman** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:15 pm

I think it's based on your audience. the current lyrics may work somewhere in the world. I'm sure they would, it's just who is your target audience, and what are the record companies shopping for?

johnnydean1 · Post by **johnnydean1** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:35 pm

Quote:Any other thoughts, or did Matto's comparison to Children's music basically shut this one down? I really am attached to this song and would like to take it further, so I am trying to rework the lyrics, trusting Matto's read of the market better than my own.Matto AKA God.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Don't argue,just get on with it.

jeffe · Post by **jeffe** » Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:16 am

Does it fit in todays music.?Yes, I believe it does. I like the music. Though casting a critical eye over it (I assume you want that too) I have a few observations to point out about the vocal side of things. I like your voice. It fits very well with the music but there were a few things about it that didn't work for me.You sang 'Colli-ee-ide'. I think that should just be as it is without the extra ee's.Same applies to ta-ee-ake.I thought the verses were sung in a relaxed manner which fitted. However it seemed that you were going to the end of your breath in the chorus at points. I reckon the chorus should be more powerful in a vocal sense. When you go into the chorus, move a few inches back from the mic and sing it out at the top of your voice. With real attitude. You sound like you are holding back. That should give it some oomph!