Call me when you can

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carr
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Call me when you can

Post by carr » Fri Feb 02, 2007 10:01 pm

Just a simple ditty about being the other womanCall me when you can © John Westwood APRAFor female voice in country styleV1I think I understandYou want to be my manBut Both of use are living in lives we never planned.V2You say you will be leaving herIm sure you think its truebut Now is not the right timeYou have So much to do BR And if you only knew the painThe longing and the acheWould you do the same as meSit at home and wait?CHI know that you are busyAnd You know Ill always waitPlease think a little more about meAnd Call me when you canV3I love the precious momentsWhenever you break freeYour other life is so importantIt takes the place of meV4Its not the lies you tell meThat leave me feeling sadIts the silence when you don’t callThat makes me feel real badCHI know that you are busyAnd You know Ill always waitPlease think a little more about meAnd Call me when you canI dont like the first line of V4 . There must be a better way of implying Lying without actually saying it

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Re: Call me when you can

Post by carr » Sun Feb 04, 2007 12:56 pm

Ive incorporated the suggested changes and corrected typos and altered a few things. See how this sings .. or notCall me when you can V3 © John Westwood APRA For female voice in country style...about being the other womanV1I think I understandYou want to be my manBut both of us are living in lives we never planned.V2You say you will be leaving herIm sure you think its truebut Now is not the right timeYou have so much to do ( your duty calls to you )BR And if you only knew my painThe longing and the acheWould you do the same for meSit alone at home and wait?CHI know that you are busyAnd you know Ill always waitPlease think a little more about meAnd Call me when you canV3I love the precious momentsWhenever you break freeI understand your other life takes the place of meV4Its not the promises you can't keepThat leave me feeling downIts the silence when you don’t callthe phone and me , aloneCHI know that you are busyAnd you know Ill always waitPlease think a little more about meAnd Call me when you can--------------------

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Re: Call me when you can

Post by hummingbird » Sun Feb 04, 2007 2:38 pm

Hi John, the lyric reads very well, it has a good flow. You could use more contrast between the verses and the chorus - the verses are all 4 lines long and so is the chorus. Other than that, it looks good for structure and for imagery and accessibility.IMO not very many female country singers would likely want to sing these lyrics, as being the 'other woman' is not a characterization one would wish the audience to see. I think would have more application in pop, where singers like Madonna, et al, push the boundaries of accepted behavior... or perhaps a musical-style plantive pop setting where someone knows they should be stronger but they can't seem to move beyond the status quo. This is just my uneducated opinion in terms of the commercial viability of this, and is no reflection on your writing skills.cheers Hummin'bird
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carr
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Re: Call me when you can

Post by carr » Sun Feb 04, 2007 5:09 pm

Thanks vikki, I dont particularly write country. It just struck me as being more country oriented after it was written.I dont understand the thinking behind Singer not wanting to sing this kind of lyric. Most singers I know love to get their teeth into a lyric that they can make emotional. Better than 50% of marriages fail .. add to that the defacto marriages and other couples. There are one heck of a lot of breakups and that means one heck of a lot of people are "the other woman/man ".so its true to life..And a lot of women I know do think this way. Thats where I got the language from.Still ..there aint no accounting for Nashville/country taste. I just hope the food is better in Nashville *grin*J

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Re: Call me when you can

Post by carr » Mon Feb 05, 2007 12:19 am

I deliberately kept it simple to give the singer a lot of latitude.. too much lyric , imo, can be like a straight jacket.I guess the test is when i get someone to put voice to it. I have one offer so far.j

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Re: Call me when you can

Post by carr » Mon Feb 05, 2007 5:34 pm

And still rewriting/arranging. Moved the bridgeCall me when you can V5© John Westwood APRA For female voice in country style...about being the other womanV1I think I understandYou want to be my manBut both of us are living in lives we never planned.V2You say you will be leaving herIm sure you think its truebut Now is not the right timeYou have so much to do ( your duty calls to you )CHI know that you are busyAnd you know Ill always waitPlease think a little more about meAnd Call me when you canV3I love the precious momentsWhenever you break freeI understand your other life takes the place of meV4Its not the promises you can't keepThat leave me feeling downIts the silence when you don’t callthe phone and me , aloneBR And if you only knew my painThe longing and the acheWould you do the same for meSit alone at home and wait?CHI know that you are busyAnd you know Ill always waitPlease think a little more about meAnd Call me when you can

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