Lyrics: "Meagan Crying"

[aubreyz]

Casey,That's one heck of a story. There has to be a killer song in there somewhere! Knowing the storyline puts those lyrics in very interesting light. Now that you are past Songwriting 101, I bet you'll find a way to keep the vague imagery, and yet still be more obvious with the storyline.Aub

[pogodog]

Wow. That's one hell of a story Oh yeah.... Happy Birthday. RanG

[nomiyah]

Casey,HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What are you doing to celebrate?The story is captivating. Go into the story deeper rather than avoiding it, not that you want that much detail, but certainly more than what you have. Why hide the story so much? Let us in! Here's the part I think is most poignant that might be a good way to house the lyrics:"I felt so bad for Meagan. Making it worse, was the fact that I was friends with everyone, knew about the affair, but couldn't tell Meagan. I was young and foolish- maybe today I would have told her. This song was an expression of my sadness for Meagan and the end of that camping era. It was never the same."Capture that feeling, tell us enough of the story to feel what you feel and you will have a great song.But seriously dude..... Happy birthday for real!!!!Nomi

[Casey H]

removed.... old stuff

[nomiyah]

CaseyI don't think a song can hold all those details, like a soap opera can (although I DO have a song that's titled "Soap Opera"). Just pick one angle, with the story as the background. Talk about your relationship to Meagan, not everyone's relationship to everyone. Your conflict as a friend having to keep a secret and then seeing her pain when she finds out. The juxtaposition of the good times with the bad make this song story strong. Even though you are working, hope you get some special treatment. A movie? A beer? Are you going to LA for music biz or other?Nomi

[Casey H]

removed... old stuff...

[arkjack]

I was going to say, there is more than just one song in the story. Although "tragic".... the experience of being in the middle of such a lover's quadrangle gives you alot to draw from for interesting songs.... You could take the Pete Townsend route and write a rock opera about it..... Tommy produced several single hits.....ArkJAck

[Casey H]

removed... old stuff....

[Casey H]

removed... old stuff...

[pogodog]

Quote:OK, I have a zillion re-writes in front of me... I'm leaning towards something like this (maybe not exactly) which is more direct story-wise, I think... Here goes:You can sing along to the melody (over the old lyrics) at: http://www.broadjam.com/transmit/transm ... yhgbndsq=1 but bear in mind the chorus will be de-"Puff The Magic Dragon"'d... Also, I can't decide whether to leave verse 2 as a 1/2 verse as recorded or not.Meagan Crying© 2006 Charles P. HurowitzVerse 1So you’ve decided you are leavingMarry someone newOff to a chalet up in the MountainsA heart shaped tub for twoEver since your childhood days nowShe said it had to be But the ghost that’s left behind youVisits in your dreamsChorus (variations in parenthesis)And you see Meagan CryingHer tears (stain / running down) the leaves and trees (Her tears falling from the leaves?) (Up at / Of the) Stony ForestWhere we camped each and every year (But I remember / I still picture) Meagan (laughing /smiling)It’s a memory so clear Our guitars by the campfireSinging like the world could hearVerse 2Your pretty lady lays her head downLives her little girl dreamsMove in the house that her mother bought youWhile Meagan packs her thingsEver since your childhood days nowShe said she always knewBut the scorched earth and the ashesNever fade from viewChorus, instrumental with modulation, and chorusOutro (flashback)The fire burns so sweetlyI knew that it would Is it warm enough my darlingI’ll burn more firewood…Casey, I'm not sure but i think your chorus began this way at one time, I still see... , If not i think it's a solid way to express that it's a recurring sadness and relates itself to the future line " It's a memory so clear " . Aside from that i think the chorus is beautifully constructed. You have remained personal in your detail, yet achieved a universal message. I'm not sure of you intentions but ...You may have moved it from the category of Artsy to commercial Folk. ( Puff inference might be a copyright issue .. but you are talented enough to restructure the melody ) IMOI STILL see Meagan CryingHer tears (stain / running down) the leaves and trees Up at Stony ForestWhere we camped each and every year (But I remember / I still picture) Meagan (laughing /smiling)It’s a memory so clear Our guitars by the campfireSinging like the world could hearRanG