True Warrior Looking for honest critique

[djemboy2]

I wrote the lyrics to this song and had a freind compose the music, and he sang it, this whole song took about 30 mins in total, the reason i wrote it was to show my sister in law to be that she had impacted me on a very deep level, she is currently losing a battle to cancer, and i was in awe at how she wouldnt let it beat her, i wanted to do something that was purely for her and thus True Warrior came about, this is basically the very first attempt at it, tom solanto who wrote the music and sang it had no idea how it should sound, i simply said see what you can do with these lyrics, and to my amazement he managed to get the tune i was thinking of, anyway the song is at www.betarecords.com/djemboy2just click listen near the bottom of the page, and while your on there if you click blogging all my lyrics will be displayed as wellthankyou to anyone who listensMichael