AC/Pop Ballads return

[foglyte]

Hi all, I gave what I thought was a good shot, but wasn't meant to be. There are problems I need to work on, and ones I was aware of myself. You can't slip sub par material through, which is how it should be.If anyone would care to listen and comment, I would like to see if the same things mentioned in the critique will be obvious to you as well.The song is "All the Colors" on my home page http://taxi.com/lunaumbraThanks in advance.FogS090123ACADULT CONTEMPORARY/POP BALLADS in the range of Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Michael Bolton, Richard Marx, Bryan Adams, Bette Midler, Mariah Carey, etc. are sought after by an established Music Publisher who has secured many high profile Film/TV placements and has signed many TAXI members. Big ballads like "My Heart Will Go On", "(Everything I Do)I Do It For You", "Right Here Waiting", "Wind Beneath My Wings", etc. will be exactly what this company is looking for. The songs should have a timeless feel to the lyric and melody, with a setting that isn't so locked into one era that it couldn't apply to a variety of situations. Huge chorus hooks and sweeping melodies will be essential - no covers, just originals for this one. All the ColorsBring me home and take me backMy heart is heavy and sad so I long for thatFireside comfort within our homeHas made me who I am as passing time has shownCome to me and stay awhileLet your love fall on meMemories hide deep in shadeAll the colors seem to fade, all the colors, all the colors seem to fadeCan I tell you what I knowI remember it all like yesterday but time has flownAnd even though not all was goodIt wouldn't stop me from going back if I only couldCome to me and stay awhileLet your love fall on meMemories hide deep in shade All the colors seem to fade, all the colors, all the colors seem to fadeAnd all that I wasAnd all that I becameThe past for me has me seeking all of this without shameCome to me and stay awhile Let your love fall on meCome to me and stay awhile Let your love...Memories hide deep in shadeAnd all the colors, the colors, all the colors All the colors seem to fadeAll the colors, all the colors seem to fade© 2009 LunaUmbra

[rld]

Wow...the drums...the drums are just way out on this.In fact, I had to check and see if another song wasn't playing at the same time cause the drums really are that bad.There might be a decent song in there, although I don't hear a big climatic chorus that this type listing would require.You need to start over by first dropping the drum track.

[foglyte]

Hey RLD, thanks for the listen and reply, appreciated.As far as the drums... bad timing, or just poor playing in general? Do they not belong on this song at all? Or do they sound as if, like you state, that they just don't sync up with this song very well?I was trying for big climatic chorus, but missed the mark I suppose.Thanks though, all input is good.Fog

[rld]

Quote:bad timing, or just poor playing in general? Do they not belong on this song at all? Or do they sound as if, like you state, that they just don't sync up with this song very well?Yeah...all that.I don't know how this song was put together, so please don't take this the wrong way, but if you can't hear how those drums don't work in that song, you need to partner up with a collaborator or someone who can help, or at least post it in the review forum and save yourself the $5 submission fee.There is no way that song would get a forward in its present state.

[foglyte]

There is no wrong way... this is why I posted it. Another set of ears. I appreciate you taking the time. My request for a listen should have come before a submission like you state.I have submitted this song a few times in the past, and except for this particular listing which had the "Drums/percussion sound..." checked off, the other critiques made no mention of a problem in this area. I will revisit this though ... your opinion is valid. Moving forward!Thanks.