Re: It's not wrong

[watksco]

Hey GrandpawThere's a good idea here...What genre were you thinking with this one?A few things you might think about:1. Check the structure of each of the verses - sylable count and stressed sylables - they're all a bit different (I highly recommend Pat Pattison's book - Write Better Lyrics, or The Essential Guide to Lyric Form and Structure)2. You talk about 'the songwriter a couple of times in the verse - might want to have that in one place only. I have also read in a couple of places that A&R people don't like songs about writing songs - as it's only relatable to a very small proportion of the population.3. Might want to consider making the chorus a question rather than a staement. E.g. Is it wrong... It might invite the listener in to the lyric more - ask them to participate in the telling of the story.Of course, this is all just IMOCheers,Scott

[watksco]

It's definately a lot tighter structure wise - that will help it to sit better when you sing it.Scott