Live In That Truck - Country

[jwebbinspired]

Hello all. I have a melody and everything, but I want to firm up the lyrics before I record a worktape to post on peer to peer. Let me know what you think...and make any suggestions pleaseAndy"Live In That Truck"©2009 Andrew Scott Wills<v1>From the day I pulled her off the lot,She was either parked down by the dock,Or 4-wheeling down a muddy road,Or plowing through the snow,I'd look at all the mud and the muck,On the new paint that had flung up,I'm in that baby every single day,Yeah i pretty much live in that truck,<c>I've got everything I need,Parked there in the street,Bags of chips and bottles of sweet tea,I've got a bed with plenty of room,Under the stars and a big old moon,You know what?Yeah i pretty much,Live in that truck<v2>I got a good job but with a long commute,Those extra miles were nothing for that brute,Gotta keep up on the lube and oil change,And buy a new CD or book on tape,My woman said I'm always in that truck,I leave for work before the sun comes up,And I'd look at her and say,Yeah I pretty much live in that truck,<v3>My woman got mad and kicked me out,I kept my truck she kept the house,She said I spent more time with my wheels,Than taking her out for fancy meals,A buddy said sorry for the bad luck,It's just one of life's speed bumps,So where are you sleeping these days?Yeah I pretty much live in that truck,

[momof4]

hi! so i absolutely LOVE your chorus, especially all the imagery and specific details that paint the picture for the listener so well. awesome! i would encourage you to keep working on your verses, though...there are some good lines in there, but they just sound like they need a bit more tweaking. (i.e. you use the word "truck" quite a bit, and it seems almost overused by the time you get to the chorus). anyhoo, just my two cents, of course. erin

[jwebbinspired]

Erin, I'm glad you like the chorus...or LOVE should I say There is one thing in there though I wanted to say "half eaten chips" or whatever, but the timing wasn't working out. I do see what you're saying about using the word "truck" too much. I've worked on a bit more, and I got rid of one instance. I'll lay down the melody and post it in Peer To Peer soon. I'm getting ready to leave town...so I don't want to post it and not reply to everyone for a week. Thanks Erin!Andy

[ontariolightning]

agreed with Erin, keep trying for a few better lines in the verse

[jwebbinspired]

Ok, I'll keep at the verses. It'll come to me.Andy

[matthoggard]

Hey Andy,This line:"On the new paint that had flung up,"Reads as if the paint was flung up and not the mud. I get your meaning but you know there are very few imaganitive publishers out there.Now you have to ask your self,Is this really a fresh idea on a well worn subject? Ive had a hell of a time getting songs with this subject matter (or nearly the same) past the "gatekeepers". I think youve got a strong lyric here but think about how many pickup truck songs there are. "Live in that truck" is clever and you tell this well but..........................................Sorry to be the downer here man. I think you can make it a little more unique.M~

[jwebbinspired]

Matt, yeah I caught that line and I already changed it. It didn't make any sense.It is definitely a worn subject...a guy's love affair with his truck...I thought it was a fresh take...but maybe you're right. I was picturing some more contemporary music not traditional...does that matter?Thanks for bringing me back to earth Matt.

[matthoggard]

This comes from getting brow beat and turned down for all my "well worn and cliched" lyrics.I dont know for sure what matters to be honest. I personally like your story. Some really catchy ideas. Dont give it up. Get it as tight as you can and have it ready for when the time is right. Trust me brother im no expert, Im really the last person who should be calling the kettle black.Ive learned lately that we should write it no matter what it is. We have to have all kinds of songs for all occasions. You may get that big co-write chance with Steele or Wiseman or John Rich and they may say "hell yeah" good idea!I just wanted to point out the subject matter so you dont get mired in mediocrity like have for years. Im not saying yours isnt fresh, I just dont see is as really unique. Just my opinion please dont ditch it just cause im gun shy! I was turned onto a song that Jeff Steele wrote "International Harvester" by Craig Morgan. My "mentor" (for lack of a better word) uses it as an example of how to write a different twist on the whole country boy idea.It doesnt apply to pickup trucks but it is a really different angle or perspective on well worn subject matter.Of course it doesnt hurt that its Jeff Steele and every thing he touches is gold.M~

[jwebbinspired]

I definitely won't give up. I appreciate the cold hard truth though. There's no point in doing it if it doesn't have the potential to be cut....I'm not doing this for self satisfaction I'm doing this because I'm suppossed to. And I'm not going to settle.Thanks for speaking your mind. I won't ditch it...I'll just push harder. Thanks Matt.Andy

[matthoggard]

Sometimes its like self immolation! M~