Sometimes right is Wrong

[brandonjohns]

One more for review..Thank you in advanceSometimes Right is Wrong by Brandon JohnsWaking up with you in my arms, a feeling so rightFell so fast, though I put up quite a fightConvoluted thoughts, feelings so strongYet you don't hesitate to tell me it's wrongCHORUSSometimes right is wrong and yet we pretendTo love someone regardless until the very endRight....wrong, no not that. Wrong....right, oh yeah!How can we ever know the false from the realDestiny or death, which one do we feelMoments in time, slipping awayBegging for a chance, a chance you will stayCHORUSWrong is right...give up the fightSave time for tomorrow, seduction tonightDon't leave me now, I won't surviveBelieve what you will, I've seen the lightCHORUSGive us a chance, let me prove it to youThese feelings I have, they're honest and trueYou've let me inside to see your pure heartGiving you all my love, that's where I'll start

[rivercitymusic]

You got a good beginnig/chorus and if you had a melody that one could hear it with, even a poor one, and man i know poor! that's what i do! lol We could get a better flow down. Words don't always translate reading them as they do singing them.Anyway you gotta take out the big words, convoulted and such. Many won't be able to connect since not all listeners are as educated scholastically as they are musically. Then again it may depend on what genre it's going under.Give us a tune with it, and remember, while a lot of these folks (not i said the goat) are really really really good, and even more seem to be performing artists, they'll give ya some honest feedback if you'll take it as just feedback. It's hard to give some feedback because we've all had things dissappoint us in life and we don't like to be the messengers unless we are asked.We don't work for taxi we're just trying to enjoy what we love and hope that some day somthing will click for some of us.Waiting to here it.Doc

[brandonjohns]

Thank you DOC...I truly appreciate the feedback and take it as that. Being very new to this industry, any advice is welcome. I have enjoyed TAXI and feel it was worth the cash. I hope to be going into the studio with this sometime this month. Figured that with the economy the way it is, now is when the iron is hot on it.

[momof4]

this somehow reads more like a poem to me. can you make it more conversational? just a thought...erin

[motomyrtle]

Hi Brandon - I like this - I always try to make up a melody when I read lyrics - The melody I 'heard' made me think of something a little choppy like Rascal Flatts - Life is a Highway. good luck with this....

[momof4]

one more thing...lots of "ight" rhymes in there, with some of them repeated. and "i've seen the light" is pretty overused, not by you, but by everyone else. maybe keep working on these lyrics and take that originality you used in some of your lines and get rid of the lines that are more ho-hum. just my two cents. erin