Re: Lyric critique

[pogodog]

Quote: Cry No More (2006 by Walter Comer)Verse 1:From somewhere on a distant slopeupon the night air dark and stilla tearful tune comes beckoninga lonesome whip-poor-wil,Searching for a loverin the moonlight taking wingDrifting near to find him thereand she begins to sing,(Chorus): Cry no more for I am here We can love in the night our wings touch in flight Oh, cry no more for I am here,Verse 2:A breeze stirs the wind chimesThere tune haunts the airThe moon casts heavy shadowsa cloak for hearts beating there,Leaves whisper to the night windThe lake caresses the shoreGhosts dance on the mountainsfor a whip-poor-wil lonely no moreChorus:This is an old one for me. I do like it, though. Tell me what you think.WaltWalter, this Lyric is quite beautiful. The imagery is clear and poignant... nicely written. From verse to chorus and back again. You carry us from isolation to liberation without hesitation -the story flows naturally without a single " hey, wait a minute " moment. Something to consider is that " cry no more " is a story (literally ) about whip-poor-wil's , which limits your market range. Though it does fall gracefully under Americana , Folk and or Bluegrass genres. It would however, without a complete species make-over or a call from Evanescence, have a difficult time in the more Pop categories. But things are neither this nor that, Congrats.RanG

[lwj001]

http://www.pic-a-pagediscounts.com/Real ... .htmlHello walter327. Here's my version of your excellent song.From somewhere on a distant slopeupon the night air dark and stilla tearful tune with a beckoning hopeFrom a lonesome whip-poor-wil,Searching for a love somewherein the moonlight taking wingDrifting near to find him thereand she begins to sing,(Chorus): Cry no morefor I am hereWe can love in the nightour wings touch in flightOh, cry no morefor I am here,Verse 2:A breeze stirs the windchimesTheir tune seems to haunt the airThe moon casts heavy shadowsa cloak for hearts beating there,Leaves whisper to the night windWaves on the lake caress the shoreGhosts dance on the mountainsfor a whip-poor-wil lonely no more

[walter327]

Thanks, Kingwood.Nice take. I like your thoughts.Walter327