Texas Blue Eyed Darlin'

[lwj001]

http://pic-a-pagediscounts.com/Real_Cou ... .htmlTexas Blue Eyed Darlin' (Larry W. Jones 10/07/2006) (song#4040)She's a Texas blue eyed darlin'Every cowboy's dream come trueAnd I'm gonna ask that darlin'To be my blue eyed darlin' tooThere are days when I don't see herWhen I can't see her smiling faceHow can I tell her that I love herAnd no one else can take her placeShe's a Texas blue eyed darlin'Every cowboy's dream come trueAnd I'm gonna ask that darlin'To be my blue eyed darlin' tooToday I'll ask her for an answerAnd the answer will be, I prayThat she doesn't love anotherAnd in my arms she'll always stayShe's a Texas blue eyed darlin'Every cowboy's dream come trueAnd I'm gonna ask that darlin'To be my blue eyed darlin' too

[oxe57]

Great title. I don't think I've ever heard it used before. The stregnth of the title/hook is not matched by the verses. I recommend thinking who, what, when, where, how, why etc. This will help develop the verses more so they to will strong. Just something to think about...................................peace!

[lwj001]

Thanks for the critique, oxe57. I reviewed the song and here's my observations:who - Texas darlin' with blue eyes.what - well, she's a cowboy's dream.when - today, of course, I'm gonna ask her.where - not New York!how - in person.why - I want my dream to come true.As you noticed, most of my lyrics are "wimpy" when compared to today's "hard" country songs. I write them more as love songs than hard-life songs. It also makes for easier music creation.Thanks again. I'll keep the "reporter's" who, what, when, why, where and how in mind.

[edteja]

Larry,I don't think the Who, what, why stuff is quite as clinical as you are taking it. Yup, it is hard to make sense of that stuff in a love songs. But the issue is that the listener doesn't know where you are coming from. For instance, there is no sense of why he suddenly is taken with this girl. DId they just meet? THERE ARE DAYS... implies he has known her a long time, but then he doesn't know if she has a boyfriend. And if she did, would he walk away with his head hanging low, or try to win her? Has he even spoken to her? The "wimpiness" is only that there is not a real person here. She has blue eyes and, for the moment at least, is in Texas, but other than that, we know nothing. Does she work in the supermarket (he sees her when he comes in to do his shopping?), a bank? Is she always at the rodeo when he is there too? You see there is no love story... this is a nice, unrequited love statement. Which is fine, if you are singing it to her. If your intent is a commercial song, however, you'll need to add the detail (some!) that pulls the rest of us in.

[lwj001]

Thanks oxe57 and Traveling Ed Teja. Here's a modified version.Texas Blue Eyed Darlin' (Larry W. Jones 10/07/2006) (song#4040)She's a Texas blue eyed darlin'Every cowboy's dream come trueAnd I'm gonna ask that darlin'To be my blue eyed darlin' tooThere are days when I don't see herI wonder who else admires her smiling faceI have to tell her that I truly love herAnd to not let someone else take my placeShe's a Texas blue eyed darlin'Every cowboy's dream come trueAnd I'm gonna ask that darlin'To be my blue eyed darlin' tooTonight I'll see her at the rodeoAnd please may her answer be, I prayThat she doesn't love anotherAnd in my world she'll want to stayShe's a Texas blue eyed darlin'Every cowboy's dream come trueAnd I'm gonna ask that darlin'To be my blue eyed darlin' too

[edteja]

That works better for me.

[Casey H]

Quote:Thanks oxe57 and Traveling Ed Teja. Here's a modified version.Texas Blue Eyed Darlin' (Larry W. Jones 10/07/2006) (song#4040)She's a Texas blue eyed darlin'Every cowboy's dream come trueAnd I'm gonna ask that darlin'To be my blue eyed darlin' tooThere are days when I don't see herI wonder who else admires her smiling faceI have to tell her that I truly love herAnd to not let someone else take my placeShe's a Texas blue eyed darlin'Every cowboy's dream come trueAnd I'm gonna ask that darlin'To be my blue eyed darlin' tooTonight I'll see her at the rodeoAnd please may her answer be, I prayThat she doesn't love anotherAnd in my world she'll want to stayShe's a Texas blue eyed darlin'Every cowboy's dream come trueAnd I'm gonna ask that darlin'To be my blue eyed darlin' tooHi. It feels like a very traditional song a la "Oh My Darling Clementine". I didn't use that analogy in a negative way, just an example of a song that people sing the chorus to but don't get into the "depth", if it is even there.This all depends on your goal. To pitch it as a song for other artists it would need more story behind it. For other uses such as for your own CD, film/TV, etc, depending on the music and production, it might work. Casey

[lwj001]

http://www.pic-a-pagediscounts.com/Real ... htmlThanks Ed and hurowitz. When someone shows interest in creating music or recording, I let them know that all the lyrics can be edited/adjusted as needed. This one was changed twice due to input from forum members at another site:Nobody's Buckeroo (Larry W. Jones 12/02/2006) (song#4210)One day I rode my pony into townAnd looked for an empty hitchin' railAs I dismounted and looked aroundI saw a little buckeroo who looked so frailHe was at the orphanage and he looked underfedI asked the kid his name and this is what he saidI'm nobody's buckeroo, nobody's buckerooHere at the orphanage I'm so sad and blueMy mama left me here and I've no Dad I knewI'm not wanted here, I'm nobody's buckerooOnce in awhile somebody will comeAnd take another of my little buddies homeBut I know they see that I can't seeAnd I hear steps as they just keep walking onI'm nobody's buckeroo, nobody's buckerooHere at the orphanage I'm so sad and blueMy Mama left me here and I've no Dad I knewI'm nobody's buckeroo, is there something you can doI don't have my Mama here to hold me when I cryAnd I'd like to hear a rodeo sometime in my lifeThey call me the little buckeroo who cannot seeBut I've been told there's a sacred book so oldThat says the God above loves kids like meI'm nobody's buckeroo, nobody's buckerooHere at the orphanage I'm so sad and blueMy Mama left me here and I've no Dad I knewI hope somebody will take me homeThen nobody will call me nobody's buckeroo

[Casey H]

Quote:http://www.pic-a-pagediscounts.com/Real ... htmlThanks Ed and hurowitz. When someone shows interest in creating music or recording, I let them know that all the lyrics can be edited/adjusted as needed. This one was changed twice due to input from forum members at another site:Nobody's Buckeroo (Larry W. Jones 12/02/2006) (song#4210)One day I rode my pony into townAnd looked for an empty hitchin' railAs I dismounted and looked aroundI saw a little buckeroo who looked so frailHe was at the orphanage and he looked underfedI asked the kid his name and this is what he saidI'm nobody's buckeroo, nobody's buckerooHere at the orphanage I'm so sad and blueMy mama left me here and I've no Dad I knewI'm not wanted here, I'm nobody's buckerooOnce in awhile somebody will comeAnd take another of my little buddies homeBut I know they see that I can't seeAnd I hear steps as they just keep walking onI'm nobody's buckeroo, nobody's buckerooHere at the orphanage I'm so sad and blueMy Mama left me here and I've no Dad I knewI'm nobody's buckeroo, is there something you can doI don't have my Mama here to hold me when I cryAnd I'd like to hear a rodeo sometime in my lifeThey call me the little buckeroo who cannot seeBut I've been told there's a sacred book so oldThat says the God above loves kids like meI'm nobody's buckeroo, nobody's buckerooHere at the orphanage I'm so sad and blueMy Mama left me here and I've no Dad I knewI hope somebody will take me homeThen nobody will call me nobody's buckerooIf you are having success (however you personally define it) this way, then keep on doing what you are doing. Don't fix what is not broken. If you think you could attract more collaborator interest (and you want to) by adjusting the writing style up front, then that's different. BTW, I think reviewing lyrics without music can be dangerous. So many things are different when you hear them with the melody, the emotion, etc. If you are going to pitch songs to Nashville publishers or artists, however, it is a necessary evil. Sometimes people will read your lyrics and, if not impressed, not even listen to a song. But that can be a whole 'nother thread. Casey