"Itty Bitty Pretty Brown Eyes" - please critique!

[oxe57]

Is there anything more touching than the parent/child relationship? I think not. Thanks in advance......................peace!“Itty-Bitty Pretty Brown Eyes” yes I know I knowmy child you must goyou must get on with your lifeif you please bare with methis ain’t easythough I knew one day I’d say goodbyeto those itty-bitty pretty brown eyesthis photograph takes me backhow quickly time passedyou were only two years oldI would loseif I choosenot to support youso kiss me before I start to crymy itty-bitty pretty brown eyesI’m gonna’ pray everydaysomehow somewayno harm will come to my precious childon your ownand aloneman what a phone billyou’re always gonna’ be on my mindmy itty-bitty pretty brown eyescopyright 2006 richard c. evans

[daffsongwriter]

Hi, ah that is touching, I nearly cried - you carry your heart on your sleeve lovey like me, they say us songwriters are very sensitive dont they.That is good, is is sung in quite a fast tempo or slow, I am presuming the first bit is the chorus or does it not have a chorus, doesnt have to I know. I would be interested to hear the melody on that, can you upload, or have you not sorted that one yet, I tend to add that after I must admit. I tell the story then add the tune, its normally the tune that comes into my head at 4am and I jump outta bed and onto the keyboard or guitar to find the notes ha ha. Then develop from that. A While ago I uploaded one of my songs onto my website just for 2 weeks for the critics to flood in, well I had a lot of really good feedback which I have learnt from. It takes a while to get used to being recorded, or it did me.I really should get some of mine on here, just been busy lately with the keyboard stuff for this band I am joining in April, and what with working full time too I havent had a great deal of spare time but Im quite good with time management on the whole.Take care, Daff xx

[lwj001]

Hi oxe57. A very good song. Good job. I had only one minor observation about the last two lines:you’re always gonna’ be on my mindmy itty-bitty pretty brown eyesHow does this sound:you’re always gonna’ be on my minditty-bitty pretty brown eyes minehttp://www.pic-a-pagediscounts.com/Real_Country_Lyrics3.html

[oxe57]

Thanks so much for the input guys. This song is sung in a mid-tempo shuffle groove. The rhythm is loping and has a back beat to it. It fits quite nicely. Good prosody. A rough demo is on the way. Thanks again..................................peace!