Picking Up Bar Belles

[couchgrouch]

Picking Up Bar BellesWell Dan used to be proud, when he dressed to go outthat he couldn't pinch an inchnow he's a pudgy man, from pumping twelve ounce canson a barco-lounger benchhe still thinks he'll do well, with those hot southern bellesif he buys them drinks and tips his hatthough he may act tough, he can't handle their lovewith love handles as big as thathis hard head makes him look like a foolcos tonight it's the hardbodies who'llbe picking up bar bellesholding them in their handslifting their lonely spiritsduring that midnight dancecowgirls are too much womanfor guys unsure of themselvesdon't forget, never sweatwhen picking up bar bellesTom's got hair in a can, rub-on tangerine tanand tickets to a tractor pulland he's turned 39, ten or twelve timeshe puts Fibercon in his Red Bullhe'll strut in lookin' suave, but girls just brush him offcos he's gotta brush up on his linesyeah...all he does is talk, 'bout New Kids on the Blockit's time he learned he's behind the timesif he can't lift the bags 'neath his eyeshe's gotta know it's younger guys...picking up bar bellesholding them in their handslifting their lonely spiritsduring that midnight dancecowgirls are too much womanfor guys unsure of themselvesdon't forget, never sweatwhen picking up bar bellesrepeat chorus...(c2007 Robert George