It's Sam...I've been working on my 1st one

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samiam
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It's Sam...I've been working on my 1st one

Post by samiam » Fri Jun 04, 2004 8:23 am

Could anyone please take some time and let me know if I'm headed in the right direction? I've been working on this all week...I think I'm in overload, but I'm not too sure of the metering (is that the right word?)I'm trying here...good? bad? throw my pencil away?please excuse any spelling mistakes...i'm bushed..Thank you for any helpSamIamTHAT SMILE ©, SAM, 2004V1I WAS AT THE RODEO , SHE CAME UP AND SAID HELLOONE LOOK WAS ALL IT TOOK...I HEARD THE CALL BLACK HAIR AND BLUE EYES, DIDN'T TAKE LONG TO REALIZE30 SECONDS WAS ALL IT TOOK TO FALLCHYOUR SMILE DRIVES ME WILDIT SENDS ME O-VER THE MOONAND WHEN YOU FLASHED THOSE BABY BLUESI FELL UNDERTHAT MAGIC THAT YOU WEAVEOH I'M FALLING WAY TOO DEEPFOR THAT SMILE IN YOUR EYES THAT DRIVES ME WILD.V2I HEARD EVERY WORD SHE SAID WITH HER EYESAND ANSWERED ALL THE QUESTIONS IN HER SMILEIT ONLY TOOK A MINUTE...WE BOTH KNEW THAT WE WERE IN IT…<br>FATE STEPPED ON IN AND HANDED ME THE PRIZE CHYOUR SMILE DRIVES ME WILDIT SENDS ME O-VER THE MOONAND WHEN YOU FLASH THOSE BABY BLUESI FALL UNDERTHAT MAGIC THAT YOU WEAVEOH I'M FALLING WAY TOO DEEPFOR THAT SMILE IN YOUR EYES THAT DRIVES ME WILD.V3GIRL, I WANT TO BE YOUR MAN, I CAN TAKE IT IF YOU CANLORD KNOWS, WE SEEM MEANT TO BE TOGETHERI SAY WE TAKE THE TIME, PUT IT ALL ON THE LINEIF THIS IS LOVE LET'S MAKE IT LAST FOREVERCHYOUR SMILE DRIVES ME WILDIT SENDS ME O-VER THE MOONAND WHEN YOU FLASH THOSE BABY BLUESI FALL UNDERTHAT MAGIC THAT YOU WEAVEOH I'M FALLING WAY TOO DEEPFOR THAT SMILE IN YOUR EYES THAT DRIVES ME WILD.

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Re: It's Sam...I've been working on my 1st one

Post by bobc » Fri Jun 04, 2004 8:52 am

Hey Sam!Don't throw the pencil away...take some time away and if you think it needs a re-write, do it. But never throw anything away...if you don't use a line or an idea for this song, it might work for another.Anyway, metrically, I'm not sure what you're looking for, so here's some basic guidlines as to how rhythm falls (generally) in 4/4 meter:Quarter notes - 1, 2, 3, 4Eighth notes - 1&, 2&, 3&, 4& (8th notes16th notes 1e&a, 2e&a,3e&a, 4e&aIn 3/4 meter (which I don't think your song is right now)Quarter Notes (2 bars) 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3Eight Notes 1&, 2&, 3&16th Notes 1e&a, 2e&a, 3e&aThe strong beats are the numbers and the subdivisions are what's in between the numbers.In other words for 16th notes in 4/4 meter, you want to be thinking (phonetically):"one'ie anda two'ie anda three'ie anda four'ie anda"Hope this helps! Bob

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Re: It's Sam...I've been working on my 1st one

Post by samiam » Fri Jun 04, 2004 9:18 am

Thank you BobC, for your time in replying. I think that I will have to get my book out and look that up.I guess meter is the wrong word that I'm using.this is what I meanI WAS AT THE RODEO ~ 7 sylSHE CAME UP AND SAID HELLO ~7 sylONE LOOK WAS ALL IT TOOK ~6 sylI HEARD THE CALL ~ 4 BLACK HAIR AND BLUE EYES ~5DIDN'T TAKE LONG TO REALIZE ~730 SECONDS WAS ALL IT TOOK TO FALL ~8 Should all the lines have the same # of syllables...or close?And the same for the chorus? Is it a rule?Actually these I broke up, but there is actually 4 lines to the verse...Am I just confusing myself?Thank you Sam

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Re: It's Sam...I've been working on my 1st one

Post by dungbeetle » Fri Jun 04, 2004 11:01 am

The way I see it, beat one (1) could be like this:I WAS (1)AT THE RODEO , SHE CAME (1)UP AND SAID HELLOONE (1)LOOK WAS ALL IT TOOK...I HEARD THE (1)CALL BLACK (1)HAIR AND BLUE EYES, DIDN'T TAKE (1)LONG TO REALIZE30 (1)SECONDS WAS ALL IT TOOK TO (1)FALLWorks fine, but seems crowded and could be smoother in places (of course I could have the beats all wrong here). Verse two doesn't follow the same rhyme scheme though. The first line doesn't seem to have the internal rhymes. It doesn't really matter about the exact syllable count for some styles. The difficult thing is to make sure that the accents sound natural. The word "second" has its accent on the 1st syllable. Just gotta keep that so it sounds conversational. A couple syllables here or there just means the melody will require small changes. It's been done in folk music and country. I think rock and pop tend to stay more rigid, but nothing is always. So it's up to you how you handle it.

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Re: It's Sam...I've been working on my 1st one

Post by bobc » Fri Jun 04, 2004 5:22 pm

Yeah Sam:My read was real close to DungBeetle. (what a handle) There are rules??? The rhythmic feel in the verses and choruse shoud be the same. In other words all the verses should rhythmically match each verse and the choruses shoud rhythmically match each chorus...IMHORhyme, shmime...alot of current "hits" have many lines that don't rhyme (a rule?) Sometime if you get a chance, look at the lyrics to an extremely popular (in it's day) and widely recorded old standard, "Moonlight In Vermont". Not one rhyme in the song...but great lyrical pictures are being painted. Bob

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