Fear Of Self...???

[fearofself]

Hi everyone!This is our first post to the Taxi forum.After doing a lot of research about Taxi and the service(s) provided, we decided to sign-up and see what Taxi can do for us.http://www.taxi.com/fearofselfPlease feel free to listen to the songs we've posted and be sure to let us know what you think! We encourage and appreciate all forms of feedback!On another note, we have submitted three* songs for critiques. * Two of those songs are located at the link above.We'll be sure to share our critique experience for anyone that's interested.Stay tuned and keep rockin'!- Fear of Self

[fearofself]

Hey everyone!We just received our critiques. As promised, we'd like to share them with you. Reading around the forum, it sounds like when critiques are posted, it's asked that the *FULL* critique be posted. I hope this can be over-looked as I'd rather take out the stuff that was directed to my personal questions and only include what's song-relevant.======================================http://www.taximusic.com/stream/176723/Thorns.mp3Song Title : ThornsStyle : Alt Modern/Hard RockMelody : Strong use of melody in verses as well as in choruses. Nice mood creation here as we start out, and the set up to the release works well. Like the sectional contrast working between the parts of V+CH.Structure : Solid song structure working here. Nice intro, which leads to the verses. Releasing of this CH is strong, and the listener "gets" that this hook is upon us. The "breakdown" or instrumental break is OK, but I like how you bring it around to the conclusion, and you end this song powerfully.Lyric : Lines in the verses are simple, but OK. May need clarification on the lines "as they come/look and look away". Not sure what the meaning is here. The "haunting me" line is good and acts like a small pre chorus. This CH does work well, but for me, the "cadence" here in the delivery of the lines is as strong as the actual lines themselves. The "closing tag" of "Our Love will Never Die" is OK, but closer to conventional than unique.Title : OK titleOverall Comments (edited with personal narrative removed) : Let's get to your song.. Vocals are strong and very engaging. As a listener I was pulled right into this idea. The "feel" did have elements of an "Alice in Chains" vibe, but I like that. Solid song structure, and by that I mean nice set up in the verses, and a strong releasing of the choruses. I did like the use of melody as well, and for me there was a strong sense of mood creation working here. Lyrically, I didi feel that there can be some minor tweaking of lines for clarification. As a band you "know" what you mean, as a listener, I'm not clear on lines such as "as they come/look and look away" (for example). All in all this is a strong effort, and is certainly in the ballpark for that "hit-like quality". My suggestion here is to reinforce your hooks as often as possible (both lyrically as well as melodically). You guys are on the right track....keep at it, and continue moving forward. All the best- #169Music : 8Lyrics : 7Marketablilty : 8Arrangement : 8Production : 8Engineering : 8====================================== Please feel free to add any comments regarding their opinions or your own!

[fearofself]

Again, I'd rather take out the stuff that was directed to my personal questions and only include what's song-relevant.======================================http://www.taximusic.com/stream/176726/ ... 07.mp3Song Title : Patient 7Style : Hard Rock basically. However, to be more specific, I hear the influence of Metallica, Tool (heard Tool on the way in today, btw : ) ... maybe some others that I can't specify at this moment. Essentially tho, Hard Rock with a few slightly progressive elements (altho not as much as Tool), with the enegy & driving rhythms of Metallica, altho not quite as powerful ... maybe even a hint of some Classic Rock influences.Melody : Definitely strong & captivating. The VS melody makes me anticipate what's to come in the CH & the preCH also builds to that. And the CH melody doesn't dissapoint, altho I'm not sure I 'see' it coming, but that's OK, too : ) as it IS easy to remember & follow along to.Structure : It's solid & well written. There are really only 2 elements that I would suggest you reconsider, & that is a slightly more recognizable or obvious & focused HK of some kind ... it's not currently the title, e.g., which is fine ... but what IS it? No, Tool never really has one, but then again, they're Tool. However, they do have strong repeated themes, which you do here.I also really enjoyed your instr. section here & think it was a strong choice. However, in this style/genre of music, you might even be able to do a bit more in that section, esp @ 3:42. Actually, this song is kinda short by Hard Rock standards in my opinion (this is not at ALL what I typically tell artists/bands but, then again, it's also about the genre & expectations of that genre's audience, isn't it??). So, adding another VS and/or to the instr. section (BR?) could build even more power into an already strong song.Lyric : This is one of the highlights of the songs for me, & a great fit for the musical style, too. I mean, it's not as tho your band is writing/recording about a typical male/female relationship, right? Something a bit dark & twisted always seems to fit hard rock much better to me, & this fits the bit quite nicely.Title : I think it's the perfect title as it's exactly who the song is about : however, I think it's only in the song 2x? Overall Comments : (edited with personal narative commentary removed) OK, I've made comments in all the various boxes on the page but I wanted to add here that I was impressed with this song today. No, it's not new or ground breaking, but it's very, very well done in this style range. And it also sounds broadcast quality to me, which is also a step ahead of many, with very tight performances, which is critical in this genre in my opinion. While I don't love the vocal quality (just personal taste), the delivery is excellent so know real concerns there.Let me recap by saying this is very well done & I feel it could find a home via TAXI. Just look for appropriate listings & pitch accordingly; best of luck & good job !!Music : 8 Lyrics : 8Marketability : 7Arrangement : 7Production : 8Engineering : 8(Listener ID# 111)======================================And again... Please feel free to add any comments regarding their opinions or your own!

[hummingbird]

can you also post the lyrics? be nice to see the comments of the screener in context with each song Sounds like you're on the right track!

[fearofself]

ThornsOne by one,like a gameas they come;look and look away.Hunting me.Laying down in thorns.Suffer be forewarned.Simplygive meany reason; I’ll conceive the lie.Our love will never die.Run from me.Play around.I will come.I will chase you down.I’m hunting now.Laying down in thorns.Suffer be forewarned.Simplygive meany reason; I’ll conceive the lie.Our love will never die. <break> x2Our love will never die!=======================================Patient 7“Good morning, Patient 7.” said the specialist.“It’s evidentrepeated medication with immediate sedationmight absolve you of your relevanceand absolute frustration.So without your hesitationwe’ll resolve this situation…”Here we go…And on I go.Calling out to no replyfrom empty breathinside of walls revolving.Endless pacing.Bitter cold.Am I the last to know?“Good morning, Patient 7.” said the specialist.“You don’t look well.I’m upping medicationto cease your constant mastication.You’ll forget all the past experience.We’ll nullify this deviance.Through shock and electrocution(treatment’s) sure to bring improvement.”Here we go…So on I go.Calling out to no replyfrom empty breathinside of walls revolving.Endless pacing.Bitter cold.Am I the last to know?... <break> x2…inside lies romantic, freeing dreamsof breathing fire and sending rainCausing, oh, the flood!...Erasing all you know!