New song very rough demo Please let me know what you think.

[jstansell]

http://www.taxi.com/joeystansell


Kapo 3 g c d
Verse 1:
G walk c
Lord I love country music…sometimes it helps me to forget
G d
All those lonely nights I spent, without her in my bed
G c
When I get to feeling lonely, I just pour another glass
G d g
When my friends come over, they don’t even bother to ask

Chorus:
D c
And I’ll pour a shot of whiskey and drink one to my past
D c
And I hope these old feelings, that somehow, they won’t last
D c
I’ll finish this whole bottle, one more shot at a time
G d g
But I know it doesn’t matter, I just can’t drink her off my mind

Verse 2:
G walk c
For some crazy reason…I thought she’d never leave
G d
I guess now I realize….that she was living in misery
G c
I thought I knew the answers, that could change the past
G d g
But I was making memories, that I knew would never last

Chorus:

Lead: d….c…g…d…g

Chorus:

Tag:
G d g
But I know it doesn’t matter, I just can’t drink her off my mind


© Joey Stansell
1-5-2010

[eeoo]

Hey Joey, didn't see that song on your Taxi page...hmmm. eo.

[jstansell]

It's on there. Maybe it wasn't yesterday. I know sometimes it takes a while for songs to show up.
Joey

[wings]

What song are we talking about?

[Casey H]

Hi Joey
I don't see it unless it has a different title than "Can't Drink Her Off My Mind". I assume that's the title based on these lyrics--- you didn't put a title in your post. Also, make sure on your taxi page you set the song to be PUBLIC or else no one but you and taxi screeners can see it.

Casey

[jstansell]

Thanks Casey. That was the problem I didn't have the public button clicked.

Joey

[feaker66]

Hey bud

ya still didn't tell us what song to listen to:)

Paul

[jstansell]

Just Can't Drink Her Off My Mind.

[Casey H]

Hi Joey
I'm not much into country music and hence not all that knowledgeable. But here are my thoughts FWIW:

This is a very old school traditional country song. The melody is very familiar like many old songs but that COULD be OK depending on what your goal was. If you were looking to write replacement tracks for film/TV that sound like old traditional country artists, then it might be OK.

Many great songs have been written with only 3 chords like you have here. Both lyrically and musically you might want to add a bridge where you throw some minor chords in and expand on the story a little. Bridges are great places to give us a few more details we don't get elsewhere such as what happened in their relationship.

One thing to think about is how many songs have already used the "can't drink her off my mind" thing and this will appear very unoriginal. Writing country is VERY competitive and you usually have to bring something new and fresh to the table to get interest. Unless you are targeting something very specific for film/TV, the A&R reaction will be "heard that one a million times.... click"... The same thing applies to the verses. See if you can come up with something less often used.

You use past/last in both the chorus and verse. It would be better not to use the same words/rhymes.

Tell us a little about what your goal is for the song. That will help direct the feedback. The 'rules' for artist pitches are a little different than for film/TV, for example.

Thanks for putting your rough out there! As a non-performer, I really like it when people put the raw stuff out there.

Best
Casey

[jstansell]

Thanks Casey,
I have to say that was the constructive advice I have had since joining Taxi.

Joey