Return but would like your opinion

[reneelhs]

I am quite new to Taxi and so far have had all returns.
I've had some very helpful reviews, none that have been terrible and some disappointments as I've felt the song was right for the listing, the one below included.

I'd really like some opinions on the song, 'You Took My World With You'.
I agree that the melody could have been a little varied at times, but I would think that any singer recording this song would add their own style and take the melody somewhere else if they felt they needed to. Wouldn't they?
It was returned for the following reasons.

The words have good imagery and are effective throughout. Some of the melodies could be elaborated upon for more variety, keeping the listener on his toes.

Renee, all good tracks, the second one very close in many ways. It tells a good tale of heartache, but even more specifics about the relationship and maybe even a conclusion might relate the emotions more clearly to a listener.

Listing S091216CO TRADITIONAL COUNTRY SONGS a la Randy Travis, Hank Williams Jr., Brooks and Dunn, Dolly Parton, Tanya Tucker, etc. needed by a full service music publishing company that pitches worldwide for Movies, Television, Commercials, etc. Please no guitar/vocal or piano/vocal demos. Your songs must full recordings and be Broadcast Quality (excellent sounding home demos are okay). Universal lyrics are important. Vocal and Instrumental presentation must be top-notch!

Thank you.

[davewalton]

Leave nothing to the imagination...

Good advice regarding melody but also particularly appropriate to links that might be used to listen to said music. I imagined what your link *might* be but that wasn't it. You'll probably have to post it.

[reneelhs]

Hi,
Thank you Dave,

I can't think why I imagined that my Taxi songs could be automatically linked from my posting!
Hopefully this will link you to my IAC page where you can here the song and others if you wish!
And thank you for the advice about leaving nothing to the imagination!

http://www.iacmusic.com/artist.aspx?id=44092

[guitarhacker]

I listened to the tune..You took my world with you.... It was certainly a country tune. As I was listening, I like the instrumentation, the vox were good and the topic was country....

The production was OK.... not stellar. It was demo quality since there were some issues with wrong chords... very noticeable near the end a few times...., and the overall sound. That will kill the song as "BQ" broadcast quality... because no one will play a song with wrong chords in it on the air.

In one of Jason's classes...he played the "demo" sent in for a very popular country hit that had major radio play last year. Then he played the artist's recording of the same song. The kicker was that the "demo" could have easily been played on the radio. Everything...and I mean everything was 99% exact from the demo to the artist's version...the intro, the guitar licks, the solo's, even the phrasing of the vocals were duplicated by the artist. The demo singer even sounded like the artist it was pitched to. You can not leave anything to imagination.

Country seems to have an extremely high bar these days. At the Taxi rally, I had the opportunity to set with Jason Blume and hear his crits on my tunes. His comments were on target for me... there are 20,000 good song writers in Nashville all competing for a very limited number of cuts on the new big artist's CD. To get a break you have to better than those writers......

My comments on you song... this song sounds like it could have been recorded in the 50's with the style and feel. Even though the listing said traditional country.... the song probably needed more interesting stuff going on in it. Jason and a few others held some classes on writing country tunes. The main thing is the words...according to Jeff Steele... the words must tell a story in a unique and fresh way.... Jason said the main thing is melody & rhythm.... they also need to be fresh and exciting. This tune sounds dated... and not a lot is happening to keep a listener interested. I have the same issues in my tunes as well.... but that's the hill we have to climb. Listen to Taylor Swift and Rascal Flatts...and understand that..that is country music today..... in 6 months...that will be changing to the next rising star. To sing a song with a bland da de da... rhythm is instant death in the highly competetive country market.

So, keep writing..... keep working..... I am....

[reneelhs]

Hi and thank you very much for listening to the song and for taking the trouble to leave a message.
I appreciate it very much. Your comments are a help.

When I wrote it, I have to say that I wasn't intending to pitch it to anyone, but after some radio airplay and good reviews, I thought it could be a song that would be picked up.

I was also under the obviously wrong impression that most artists would want to interpret and change a song to something that would make it their own (in the melody, tone or music, or all three), so that the demo or original song wouldn't have to be exactly spot on to how they would record it. It seems that I'm wrong to think that by what you say and some of the other reviews I've had.

Back to the recording studio I think!

Thank you again.