Posted New Song - "The Creep" Share your thoughts please?

[ljade4]

I know my studio production isn't the best... still working out kinks on new equipment but would like your thoughts on a song I just wrote a bit ago. Trying to mix it up a bit with different genres. This one is a little dark. "The Creep"

www.taxi.com/ljade4

[thokus]

Hey there. Cool tune .. Kinda feels early 70s rock band.. Reall nice , drums sound real good.... As far as production I'm no expert. but i'm sure you'll get some helpfull tips here. Sounds pretty good to me though..
Tom

[ljade4]

Thank you Tom. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen. Those are V drums with a live player. Really sound good to me. Not quite like the real thing but they have the right vibe I think. Thanks again.

[bwd]

Hi Dave. Really good song. It reminds me of the dark side of Pink Floyd. There are some pitch issues with the vocals and there a few timing problems with the drums. Cool guitar playing though! I'd go for a "spacier" production - more echo, a few atmospheric synth pads - and play up to the somber nature of the song. Doug

[nylyrics]

Dave:

Two Words: Pink Floyd. That's a good thing - i mean who can do that well? Great title and repetition on that - no question
about that - and the story moves to give me more wanted info nicely. Its a bit hard to analyze without the lyrics to review but
that said, i would like to walk away with a bit more energy at times and memorable lines/images. They may be in there but the creep is what stands out for sure.

Listened around a bit. You are my world reminded me of CSNY, and Jessie song reminded me of clapton or the beatles.
You got talent and some nice ideas. Good luck.

Andy

[ljade4]

Thank you for all the comments. I got the "Pink Floyd" feeling after I had played the acoustic track and sung it on the first take and that didn't seem necessarily like a bad thing to me. I'm glad it found it's way through. I opted not to get too heavy into production and keep it acoustic for as long as possible and I found after listening to it a few times I kind of liked the way it builds. I think the pitch issue is with the background vocals. I have not gone back and redone them yet after the initial first stab at them. I had a hard time identifying the pitch issue because separately the tracks sound on but I think I need to go to a different note on the backups. Especially on the very first "Hey Yeah". That's where I noticed it most. I also resang the lead line and as I ended singing the word "Creep" I dropped pitch slightly to add a sense of desperation that didn't seem to interfere with the harmony. I will check again and try to figure it out and correct. I really appreciate you listening to some of the other songs too.

Not sure why the lyrics didn't come up. Here they are:

“The Creep”

I’m back in that place again. You know the one that never ends?
I feel surrounded the Creep is closing in.
Hey Yeah – The Creep is closing in

He’s there when I’m not feeling right and won’t leave this time without a fight.
I feel I’m drowning, the Creep is closing in.
Hey, Hey Yeah – The Creep is closing in.

A heart grows dark and then he comes, blacking out a million suns.
No one there to stop it, it’s the Creep.
Breathing hard but I don’t know why. Heart is pounding, mouth is dry.
Darkness falls upon me, I’m the Creep.

He is me from such a different time, a place where I don’t often go.
The spot in my head where my darkest thoughts lie, a place that nobody else knows,
but the Creep.

Hey Yeah, the Creep is closing in.
Hey , Hey Yeah, the Creep is closing in.

He is me from such a different time, a place where I don’t often go.
The spot in my head where my darkest thoughts lie, a place that nobody else knows,
but the Creep.

One last breath before I go, ascending upon my soul you know.
Checking out, I’m wary of the Creep.
Never come back from there the same. A lost shadow no one can explain.
Darkness falls upon you, you’re the Creep.

Hey Yeah, the Creep is closing in.
Hey , Hey Yeah, the Creep is closing in.