Piano Piece

[Tim_Behrens]

Hi folks,

I promised myself that I'd work up the nerve to share something tonight (first time in a few years back here at the Taxi Forum).

http://soundcloud.com/timbehrens/woman- ... blue-dress

I'm wondering if it sounds too 'all over the place'... and, also am looking for some advice. Currently I'm calling this 'Woman in the Blue Dress', because it was based on an image I saw of a woman walking through Grand Central Park. If I were to get this into shape for my non-existent (but hopefully soon to be existent) library of songs, should I find a title that is less abstract and more descriptive of the tone? And what would your impression be of words that might describe it? Any help, feedback, hellos, are greatly appreciated.
Best wishes,



Tim

[Len911]

Hello, Tim, neighbor. I don't think it was all over the place at all, it really sings and evokes a ton of emotion. Enamored, amorous, are a few descriptors off the top of my head. Excellent piece in my opinion!!

[kclements]

Hello Tim -

First of all - I really like this piece. It is touching, warm, thoughtful, tender - a really sweet little piece. That being said, there are a couple of things I hear that you may want to think about.

Around :16 and again around 1:10 there seems to be a little hick-up in the timing. Now it happens in the same phrase both times, so maybe you meant to add the extra beat, but to my ears, it sounds a bit like a stumble rather than a deliberate addition.

I also feel that the whole piece is a little heavy handed. Maybe play it with a softer touch? It really seems to want to be tender and gentle. Did you record a piano or are you using samples? Maybe some dynamic contrast, say around :56 when the theme returns again, could be softer/lighter to build to the end.

I think you have the makings for a very nice piece. Nice work.

hth
kc

[Tim_Behrens]

Hi folks,

Thanks for the descriptive words, Len. That's very helpful. And thanks for the suggestions, kclements. I had been wondering about the hiccup. My original intention had been to fluctuate the melody a bit, but maybe I need to back off of it a little. I do know exactly what you're talking about though, and am going to try and fix that. Maybe I can pull back on the punch, too. I do hear some of the high notes as really being a bit much.

This was recorded with East/West Bosendorfer piano samples. I really like them, but I do notice that the high notes, regardless of their velocity, always seem to come out a bit sharper /brighter than what I'm expecting. In any case, I appreciate it... gave me some good things to work on.

Best wishes,

Tim

[daveO]

You should share more. Very pretty tune. Sure, needs a little more work. I can't help but wonder what it would sound like with strings or orchestral sections to give the song more dynamics. On the other hand it is nice the way it is.

[nick.moxsom]

Tim, this is a beautiful piece, very evocative, and slightly melancholy (no, reflective) imho.

Personally, I love the hiccups. My only problem is that it's too rhythmic, too hurried. To my mind you should play it to your own timing, and focus on expressing each phrase.

Namewise, I think "Woman in a Blue Dress" is a wonderful title, but as a producer or supervisor I'd be looking more towards "A Moment of Reflection" or "If Only" or something, since it has those moments of sadness in it. Just my thought – feel free to ignore them.

Thanks for posting this. It's changed my day for the better. I want to hear more.

Nick

[Tim_Behrens]

Hi there Nick,

Thanks for the great feedback and kind words. That changed my day (which hasn't been going so well) for the better, too.
Based on all the feedback, I think I'm going to try two different takes on this piece, one that is more rhythmic with less fluctuation, and one that is not to a click track at all, with a bit more space... and just see what happens.

I appreciate all the help.
Best wishes,

[ottlukk]

I thought it really pretty.
Ott

[Cruciform]

Hi Tim,

I'm not a piano guy so I don't feel competent to make suggestions. However, I will second KC's comment that a softer touch would give it that extra something.
Compositionally, I agree with Len that it isn't all over the place. IMO, there is a distinct story that carries me along.I really enjoyed it.

Descriptions that come to me are: light, tender, warm, organic, light-hearted, pretty, elegant, sublime, soothing, content, contentment, serenity, peace, beauty, Spring, breeze through the trees, leaf floating down a bubbling brook

Thanks for the opportunity to listen.