Returned because of Vocal Performance...Need some feedback!

[BrookeBMitchell]

Okay guys, to start this off you need to know the listing info:

Y110217PD
CONTEMPORARY, HIGH-ENERGY POP/DANCE SONGS with VOCALS a la Ke$ha, David Guetta and Katy Perry needed by highly active Film/TV Publisher servicing top television shows, advertising and film. Songs should pump it hard with modern dance beats and savvy programming. Vocals (MALE/FEMALE OK) should sparkle with a high-spirited, distinctively pop persona and must demonstrate strength and control. Lyrics should be clever, not clueless! with universal themes typical of this genre: love, lust, partying, etc. NO EXPLETIVES. You must own 100% of your master recording and composition. Broadcast quality needed (excellent home recordings are fine). Please submit one to three songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS ONLY - NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI. Submissions must be received no later than Thursday, February 17, 2011. TAXI #Y110217PD

Alright, I submitted two songs to this listing that were returned because of vocal performance and the second song, "Make U Move", was returned also for "Instrumental Performance" (although there were no "Instrumental performances" in the track mind you). Anyway, I know I'm not the best singer in the world. But I want to know two things. 1). Are the vocal performances bad? and 2). If so, what is it that is making them bad? I just need some second opinions so I can figure out what I need to fix. All my other more in-depth critiques from Taxi haven't been helpful in this area. Thanks for any opinions on this one.
http://soundcloud.com/brookemitchell/di ... al-alt-mix
http://www.taxi.com/brookemitchell

[hazineju]

hi Brook, welcome to the forum!

To answer your questions directly and briefly:
1) no!
2) n/a because they're not bad

But now for a bit more detail. Dirty Girl was the stronger track of the two in my opinion. I thought the vocal was REALLY good actually and so was the production. I'm a little surprised the check mark for vocal performance was ticked, but I'm guessing it had to with this phrase in the listing "high-spirited distinctively pop persona." I would say it has a pop persona but maybe it wasn't distinctive enough or high-spirited enough.

This seemed even more the case on Make U Move - the vocal and the vocal melody just seemed a little mellow, as did the instrumental track (synths are still considered instruments here). If you were to compare Make U Move to a song like Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl you can hear that Make U move, while catchy, doesn't "pump it hard" as the listing requests. For the instrumental performance, they simply meant the background music - anything that's not being sung - maybe they would want different synths, a fuller arrangement, etc (this is not my genre so i'm not sure). For the vocal, it almost sounded to me like the melody was the problem - the key seemed a bit low and the verse melody seemed to jump awkwardly a bit which made it hard to really sell the lyric. But did the vocal sound bad? Not at all! If you get a chance to re-record the vocals, maybe try to put a little more personality and energy into it. In the meantime, it can't hurt to submit it for a few more listings - you may get some feedback and maybe a forward from a different screener. Dirty Girl seemed like it must have been close imo!

Good luck and I hope this helps.

[hazineju]

Ps = Brooke's taxi page link is

http://www.taxi.com/brookemitchell

[Len911]

Brooke, the last time I danced was in the disco era,lol, so I'm not an expert or at all familiar with modern dance, but I thought the two songs were a little rushed for dancing, even the vocals seemed a little rushed in places. With adjectives like "high-energy", "pumping it hard"
and "high spirited", I think James Brown would still be relevant. Even with all the fast footwork, James B. still had time for "Haaaaaa!" and "Good God ya'll" in his songs. So to answer your question, no I don't think the vocal performance was bad or you have a bad voice, quite the contrary, I'm just not sure how danceable they are.

[BrookeBMitchell]

Thanks for the feedback (and corrected link) you guys! I really appreciate it.

[matto]

Hi Brooke,

Juliet is making some good points.

I listened to Dirty Girl and certainly didn't find the vocals to be bad. I thought the song and vocals were quite good.

After listening once, I played it again and about half way thru the second listen I noticed something:
Here we have an uptempo dance pop song with a sexy, provocative lyric sung by a hot girl...but yet I'm not out of my chair dancing, not even bobbing my head...nor do I feel the slightest need to go take a cold shower!

And I think that's precisely what's lacking in your vocal performance. The notes are all there, the lyrics understandable, the pitch is good...but what's lacking is attitude, "swagga", sexiness...in other words the singing is there but not the acting...which is really what makes a true "performance".

Think about someone like Ke$ha, or Rihanna, or Katy Perry...none of them are Christina Aguilera level singers...but they all "bring it". When Ke$ha sings about taking over the club and declares "This Place About To Blow" you *buy* it cause the girl has major attitude.

One other thing I noticed which probably prevented me from grooving along is that the vocal seems a tad "out of the pocket" rhythmically. It's very subtle, but groove is all about subtleties. This may partially be due to your track which seems a- a bit stiff and b- a bit choppy and perhaps overly complicated. This may have prevented you from really feeling "the pocket" and getting into the groove when you sang it.

The good news here is that you are displaying plenty of talent. While I don't think the song itself is a hit because I feel the chorus would need to be bigger and stronger musically/melodically, and the lyric hook would need to be more unique, if you fixed the issues mentioned above you would at least have a strong contender for film and tv placements.

As far as the performance issue, the best person I know of for making singers better performers is Steven Memel. He teaches classes at the Road Rally, so if there's a chance you can make it out in November I think some classes with him would do wonders for you. He also holds workshops in different areas and I think even does stuff via internet (although I can't imagine it would be as good as in person).

For the issues with the track, you might be able to simplify it yourself by looking at all your elements and seeing what prevents it from really grooving. Or if you're to close to it maybe you need to find a producer with a bit more experience to take a look at it and tweak it.

To sum it up...no it is NOT bad, not by a long shot. With more attitude in the vocals and some tweaks to the track, this should be a solid contender for this type of listing...

Hope this helps...

matto

[bwd]

Hi Brooke. "Dirty Girl" is a cool song. There's a few too many many bells and whistles in there and the basic dance groove/loop needs to be more upfront, but your vocal is really good. Your vocal style on this is restrained and soft. I would imagine that Katy Perry and Ke$ha make a lot more noise into their microphones - so maybe that's why the "vocal" box got ticked. "Make U Move" is a good song as well. The backtrack just needs a lot more energy. All the elements are there. I'd suggest that you collaborate with a beatmaker who can build you some in-your-face contemporary dance tracks for your songs. Cheers, Doug

[ThirdStrand]

Really like "Dirty Girl" - holy crap, the intro SLAMS. Would agree that the slightly out-of-pocket vocals (a little rushed right into the hooks, and some other spots) weaken the moments that need the most impact. Also, because the hooks have that short, separate articulation, it's hard to get the "dirt" on them that would match the approach to the LV in the verses, which I think is pretty strong. Right now, they sound a little clean and careful - I think just singing harder there would do a lot for the song, since it's kind of the axis in this genre...you need that spot to be more of a punch and less of a tap.

Thanks much for sharing your music - really great to hear it, and best of luck!

Matt
www.taxi.com/mattcurleemusic

[nick.moxsom]

Hey, Brooke

'Dirty Girl' is great. It's got all the right ingredients, imo, including a good vocal. I came up with a similar dilemma recently with a song I wrote called 'Irresistible', and that problem is, I think, DYNAMICS – highs and lows, changes in groove etc. And I never got the right singer for the song. Personally I think you're dirty synth sound is clogging up the clean dance groove you're trying to achieve. You might consider another patch for that, and I wanna hear the bass in my perineum actually, not my throat. I agree with the other folks here that the vocal needs to be more urgent for this sentiment. If that's not how you feel, then maybe a cuter, more teasing route a la Kylie might work, but that would require some new programming. I have to say I think this is 95% down.

I must be honest and say 'Make U Move' didn't do it for me. It would take me a week to learn to sing along with that melody, and that Prince-style mono synth is passé. But that's just me – others will disagree. Just my two cents' worth.

It's difficult sometimes on this forum to say what one honestly feels, knowing we run the risk of offending (or worse, disheartening) the recipient. I know I want brutal honesty on the stuff I post up, and some people are just polite. So I stress, I think you have great talent and ability, and on no account should you doubt your voice. Neither should you risk ruining it by pushing it too hard. Maybe you know another singer that could help you out...?

BTW, if you were ever interested, I'm sure you could do a great vocal on 'Irresistible'. PM me if it floats your boat. No pressure to respond, though (lol). Best of luck.

Nick